Tag: sales

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

Checking back in, nothing happening in AE story, but so much happening in mine.  Still seeing self as an AE, writing about and reflecting upon everything.  No still scenes or dull moments, ever.

Leaving in 59 minutes for Emmie’s school.  Collecting notes and thoughts, planning evening in office.  Giving self space and grace to relic but committed to production tonight.  New story about to start, and me with questions, some apprehension, but in the same measures and clef delight, relief, excitement – humanness.

Learning more about this new Mike Madigan, the free one in this loft, at desk now with a Diet Coke.  My whole life replaying for me, singing to me.

Anxiety gone, tasting room yesterday in St. Helena and my lunch at that Caffe… replaying.  Seeing Newness, why I want to do and how I want this story to continue and eventually close.  And it will close.  Not trying to be grim or morose but that will happen.  For all of us.

Tried looking at word counter in the upper-right and can barely fucking see it.  No choice but to put on the goddamn cheater glasses.  Even Kerri now carrying a pair in purse for me.

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#blogeverythingnow

…that one morning where she woke at 3 or a bit before to make an incredible amount of boards for an order.  Thankful for this desk, the room, Windsor, my parents and all their help, Kerri, of course my kids and their health…

Still waking, and slow.  About to put on a book, either Sedaris or Lawson… I need humor this morning, none of this fucking quota pressure or waiting for the guy from the prop tech company to call.  Not in the mood for the sales calls or any of this… returning to gratitude, these words, the story, the new single dad exploration I’m on with my paragraphs…

As big a net as I can cast.  Have to get out of the condo today… away from the loft, and into the streets.  My AE friend David went to Petaluma yesterday, downtown as it’s part of a new-sh build.  Oh… I have that lead in downtown Santa Rosa, reach out to her!!  Talking myself int to he sales guy character, but the coffee wants me to do something else – just WRITE.  Looking at the bookends Mom bought me to my left, WRI-TER.

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#blogeverythingnow

Not prospecting yet.  Not in sales mode or mood, or speaking that language yet.  Have to move some laundry around upstairs.  Anxiety or at least some degree or extremity of nerves beginning to make itself known.  How will I get in a run… will have to be an EOD run I’m guessing.

Receipts done, now deciding to challenge myself with the AE story, make as much an advance as I can, produce my own prospects and leads.  Starting something new today.. somehow.

12:01 heading out for office early.  Not sure how long meeting will last, guessing till about 4, maybe a touch after.  One more thing to do then depart.  I’ll note it again, something different about this Monday.  Fearless  and grateful, poised and slow, methodical, observing and recording all the music around me.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

9/16/22

Emma excited about an apple party in her class today, signifying the conclusion of her module on apple studies, how they are grown, etc.  Jack making it a point to tell me he’s going to begin his day with kickball.  Again, their priorities and interests, of course with the insistence of innocence, but the simplicity and non-complicated audit of their aims.  Enviable, beyond enviable.

Couple calls made already, making myself go for an hour run at lunch.  No distance or pace aim, just one hour running.  Will continue to do that till I’m back at 8+ miles for lunch.  Making the decision now… in a new somewhat me v. ME Beat and synchrony.  Don’t know how else to put it.

More traffic at Emma’s school than I’ve ever seen. People just doing weird and not-so-safe shit.  Three-point turn in the middle of traffic, pulling in to the driveway then immediately reversing out Into the jam.  Then people just stopping and talking to their kids inside the car holding up the entire world.  Kept calm, but shook my head a couple dozen-times-forty  times.

One loss this morning, discipline to not get a breakfast sandwich from Noto.  Oh well… it’s Friday, and I spend plenty of money on other and in one case just send it somewhere where it’s in no way deserved.  So, still logging the loss but shrugging.

Back to AE story… all notes brief this morning.  No verbose goes in today’s entries.  Brevity, journalism.  Just facts you might say.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

6:11

In office and sipping last of the Oliver’s SB.  One thing to do and I may just be a lazy writer the rest of the night.  Still a little coffee in Kerouac cup and I’m tempted to sip it ‘cause it smells so amazing, is that weird?

Merlot for the night, one of those Raymond bottles with the felt or whatever material that is labels.

All papers piles gone.  Well, almost.  One on desk but not of any worry or anxiety-tell.  In a zen bed, back to work tomorrow and with no preoccupation with results or how the month will end.  Well. I’m over 100% of quota, but who knows about next month and this new conversation, and I’m just not worried.  I don’t want to write about sales anymore and I won’t.  Wine.. wine is my topic.  The people tasting around me when in the room or seated on a patio like I was with my South Dakota friend Cheri last week.

Found new music to pair with wine, this room, the poz loft upstairs.  Grateful again, and in the same fiery code of yesterday and the day before.

Outside staring back me, gently but with instruction.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

3:27, so hungry now my mood is being impacted.  Not really in a bad way, but….

Well definitely not in a good way.  If my ex were to message me right now I might say something that would result in an email from my lawyer.  Taking a breath, thinking about Paris, the picture behind me.. going back as a fluent French speaker.

Okay, one more word for the day.  A verb, ‘to write’.  Écrire.  Not going to attempt conjugations at this point… just looking up words, readying for my trip back.

The AE leaving said in his email to the team that after all this covid stuff and some life changes and decisions, it’s time to chase his real dream.  Wonder what that is… You can always restart, this reminds me.  Always… Happiness is not to be sought but acknowledged in its already accommodating proximity.

So much to be thankful for, I’m seeing that more and more and find myself having less of those moods and demeanor stalls.  In fact, I’m fixing myself a nice dinner tonight.  That’s what I’m doing.  For ME.

My grateful chants for this condo and Windsor will never stop I don’t think, honestly.

Almost 7:30, done with shower, in office, seeing more.  More tot he story, more to wine, of wine… my wine story, nights like this where it’s me and only me and the music of the glass.  Actually why don’t I have one…. Open that Pinot, or the AVV Merlot I bought today on an Oliver’s grocery run.

Leftover pasta for dinner, some bread but not much.  Fast on solids starts.  Running in morning… new route, going to try for 6, and make myself run slow.  Trying not to think about tomorrow’s run and if I go or don’t, even though I very much will.  Put on Tycho, and enjoying the room.  Logging off early tonight, meeting early and want a glass of that Merlot.  The character that set me in wine’s way and way of writing.

Counting words when I promised myself and you that I wouldn’t.  Yes, shoaled call the night early.  Need to start wearing these cheaters more as Mom and Kerri keep pushing.  Ugh, just a denial thing I guess.  Old, getting older.. unavoidable I know, but it doesn’t make it easier.  Should it be, no.  Just laugh at it.  I’m trying.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

2:54

Good meeting at 1.  Stress, or much of it, gone.  Dad picking up Jack and taking him to practice… thank EVERYTHING that is good and loving for grandparents.  Finishing up the work day before leaving to get Henry in about 50ish minutes.

All that stress this morning, and for what.  I have help, why was I stressing.  Single dad life continue to teach as does little Emma when I got her from Summer School, waiting in the courtyard for her and her running to me with a smile, telling me story after story of what she did.

Check in with my AE buddy David, see what he’s up to.  Teams says he’s away.  I think about my AE story, and its possible or inevitable end.  What did I learn…. Too much to catalogue, but one thing is that I as a sales bloke and human and writer am changing.  In the meeting at 1 reading some of Dad’s notes I connected them and his writing style with sales, then my writing style, then life… how everything is obvious yet varied and complex and artful…

Mind clearer after moving car into street, looking at clock but not …

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

Back from the field, only a couple what I would call leads or conversations. 

Almost 3:30.  What’s for dinner.  No idea.

Follow up on leads now, or at least a couple of them.  See who has what, if anything…

Some of the leads are open, will contact each tomorrow.  What now…. Hate that I ask that so often.  Yesterday’s mail, open the rest.  How exciting.

List of calls to make tomorrow.  And running in the morning, NO FAIL.  Didn’t get out again today and I have nothing that would even be considered an excuse much less a good one.

Me, my attitude now, relatively zen.  No anxiety or preoccupation with anything, or anyone.  Excited to see co-worker and friend at 5:30.  Sweet T’s, love that place honestly.  The bar and writing there or watching a Giant’s game, that one night I took myself on a dinner date… something about simple joys like that now have more gravity and volume when they find their way to my pages.

3:57, maybe time for an early beer and the news in a sec.  Or, walk to Oliver’s.  Going with the former, keeping expenses to a min’. 

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

95 outside.  Quick lunch here at loft, now what.  NOTHING moving in the AE story. 

Thinking about going for a drive, but it’s going to be hot everywhere, and I don’t want to just drive around in my car with AC blasting. Well, that, and the goddamn price of gas.

So looks like I’m stuck here.  That being said… music.  Chill beats to fight off this anxiety…. Finish AED’s site, or landing page at the very least.

Little more done to site, but I need to devote REAL, uninterrupted/obstructed time to it.  Back later…

1:13 now 97 degrees.  Don’t even want to get the mail, honestly.  Okay… so I’m stuck here.  What I’m writing about, my topic.  Going to post in AE chat something like, “HEY!  Anyone wanna FOS today?” FOS meaning ‘Feet On the Street’, or door-knocking.  Can’t wait to see what the responses are.  Here I go…

Office starting to feel free, like a minimalist writer’s space.  Caught self overthinking again, and stopped it.  Not sure how.

97 still—  Oh shit, no, 99. Yeah, no interest in even taking a solitary step out the door.  Did a couple small things to site. 

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

Promised Kerri this morning on our coffee date that

I’d have my landing page done, domain for About EVERYTHING Designing (no longer ‘Designed’) done by the time I see her tonight.  I asked her again about her business, and how she does it, and how she arrived at a place and point where she doesn’t have to prospect.  Told her I have this idea for AED but haven’t acted on it, asked her WHY.  She drew the parallel between talking and doing, and when you stop talking you start DOING.

If I could have AED bring in even an extra 2k per month, after setting aside the same amount for taxes, my story would change.  I could do more for the kids, take them more places…. I will be in Paris in Feb ’23, and back in Maui later this year by myself for some running and writing and self-care.

Running… feeling yesterday’s 3.51.  Can’t run outside, even this early as it’s already I’m guessing in the mid-80s.  Felt uncomfortably hot walking back from Noto with Ms. Kerri.

Submitted small contract just now, drafted email to Director Mark.  Nothing serious, just that I’m still trying and…