journal

5/24/20.

Sunday.

8:19am.

Coffey Park, Santa Rosa, CA.

Drove to get gas, then coffee.  Realized I had to go inside to pay for pump.  Place rebuilt, since the 2017 fires.  Not sure I’d been in since it opened.  I look around for someone after approaching counter, couldn’t see anyone then saw a young girl stocking and wiping down a shelf, mask worn.  I felt bad, like I’d interrupted her piece of peace, no one in building and light music playing.  Asked her gently for “Twenty on 7…” No problem, she said, I thanked her, back to car.  While filling, I heard and looked up to see a car, think a mustang or one of those Mustang-looking Dodges, speeding noisily South on 101.

“I need a car… I need to get rid of this fucking Prius.” I said to myself.  Not sure I even know what I want.  I’ve started looking, but…. Writing questions down for self.  Five days from my birthday, and don’t want to be driving that car anymore.  Probably going on about this too long, but this is where you’ll find my thinking.

Woke this morning and thought I’d have some quiet, but washing hands in downstairs bathroom with door closed I could hear Jack ask for me, wanting to tell me that Emma was asleep on the floor, that she’d fallen out of bed at some point last night.  Then, not even a minute later I hear her voice, greeting her brother “HI JACK” and asking what he’s doing.

Fly in the office, for the first time in a while.  Fuck, two of them….

What do I want from today…. Writing.

Looking at houses, where is my little notebook?  The little red one?  In here somewhere.

Step away from desk, little Allergy attack.  Can’t find it now.  Whatever…. It’s fine.  Nevermind.  Found it.  Thank goodness..  Taking with me, getting breakfast for family.  Need another drive, some more music.  More poetry, my thinking tinkering in ideas rowing glowingly.

Today will do something.

IDEA:  Article, short, on journaling.

IDEA: Article, short, on sales, selling.

IDEA: Article, short, on meditation, wellness, health, mental health.

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prospectesk

Quiet… everything quiet this morning. Don’t even hear the birds as aggressively as I did the past few mornings.

No spend today, no matter what.  I’m zeroing everything.  Not sure if I want to do leads meeting here in the office, or in car.  Last time I did that, the car died and I had to have the batter switched out.  Not that parking on Hopper by the Starbucks is what caused that, just saying…. The memory is still there and vivid.

Had some Mourvedre from Westwood last night, my friend working there, Drew, dropping some off at house.

Wrote something in BW journal, Writing Recipe…. Focusing on a bit of how, but more so what.  Moved the idea was by this… this desk… be sheltered and shackled in-place since whenever back in March.  Shit, it’s been that long?  The semester’s over, so it must be.  Can’t understand, or really have my head in that reality…. I’m going to be 41 in 8 days.  Every sentence in which I mention time or even think about it and don’t write it.. I feel some mood.  Either a newly noted and flexed fire, or some lowering lowness I have to fight off and write my way through, and out of.  This morning, I’m set on production… a prominent and profuse production. Changing the direction and pace of the vessel.  Not entirely, just in a fashion that accelerated my walk to my office and shop…. Gets me to the travel I so much need.

Hear the first bird, sound like down the street and to the right a little.  Then a crow, he must not appreciate the littler chirper’s chirds.  Then it stops…. Jack comes downstairs, says how tired he was last night, going to bed a s late as he did.  He turns on a movie, and I say nothing as tempted as I am to say something like “TV off” or something like that, some expected parental order and command.  Not in the mood for scuffle.

The idea of “dedicated dollars”, something Dad introduced me to years ago, when we were still in San Carlos.  We were doing a budget or something, I showing him what money I had and he telling me you don’t have that amount as there are bills to honor and a savings goal I had at the time.  Can’t remember what that was…. He later told me that I should not let anything toxify my aim in reaching this one amount, which I believe was $350, for something.  He said that any temptation is “death to my goal”.  It stuck with me…. And now before I move some money around and zero everything as I noted I had to, want to AND have to, hear his sagacity, again, again….

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Rain, meditation.

It’s off and on, the drops, and me on couch, slowly remembering thoughts from the 8.52 today ran. Seeing how delicate all this is…. life, and how I should just play more, like my babies. Jackie’s new remote control car that I bought him arriving today. Some say I buy them too much, but such opinion so obvious in its sourness and negative edge and ebb. He wanted me to race against him, have a bit of a derby inside the house here in this living room with one of the cars my parents bought him… the more formidable green one with the toothed wheels. We played for some time before playing video games for a bit, and Jackie again asking me when we’re going to have our own office. Raining falling harder now, some intention and tension to its descent, as if to agree with Jackie and ask me, “So when is that gonna be?”

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11:03

Idea.  Acting on it.  Hard to get on the phone as I want to… so, email.  I swear I had every intention of getting on the phone and calling businesses.  But the kids and–  You know what, don’t care.  I’ll call like I were calling a friend, or my mom.  Just call and say, right?  Didn’t I boast that as my brilliant philosophy?  GO…..                                                                 

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A and E

Day FIFTY-SIX – 9/27/19

Started morning with music, and mostly tracks that connect and delightfully intermingle with my soul and principle being playing.  Then to latte acquire, 4 shots.  Parked bag and notebooks here in office then to other building to say hi to certain friends, my MDU brothers and sis.  Abe teaching me about a matter concerning resi vs. commercial points.  Learned more, which was unexpected and firefly delightful.  I’m feeling not just more autonomous in my AE spree, but more alive and perceptive and preemptive.

Watching a real estate show last night and how they attract business and generate leads, start conversations and collaborate more than compete, has me walking in all this work differently.  Thinking of this like real estate, and speaking it as I do literature and writing, and wine.  Speaking of which…. The winery did get my check right, from what I can see.  Was hoping they didn’t so leaving would be even more melodic.  Doesn’t matter.  Whether it’s correct or in’, I’m leaving soon.  Deciding entirely in this, this AE story and perspective.

Just made the two calls I had to this morning—oh, actually there’s one more I need to make.  One left message with someone in shop and the other’s voicemail is full.  How does someone let that happen?  Oh well, it happens.  Enacting real estate practice model, from prospecting to daily operations, to taking to advertising and social media, then fusing my professor and wine life into it.  I need to buy more wine for clients.  Not super expensive bottles, but ….. St. Francis SoCo bottles.  Not too pricey and little to no diminish in quality.  I’ll go by tomorrow at some point–  Interrupted concentration with text from colleague on consumer side of business, away this weekend getting married.  I texted him some wishes well and he sent a thanks in return.  One of the nicest humans I’ve ever intercepted unknowingly in my story.  The first day at Sonic, for my “interview” which was really more of a presentation of Mike Madigan and why Mike Madigan should be here contributing, he smiled and showed voluminous interest in getting to know me.  That too I catapult and compose in this AE book.  A bit of a tangent, but not. Musical. All of this… jazz, hip-hop, rock, literature… everything bound and tied to one tell.

Sore from yesterday’s workout, taking notes and it even hurts to scribble.  Still have to make one call.  Won’t forget.  What next… leaving at 10:30 for Danville.  Messaged Director Mark F. for insight as to approach and he, like I, keep it not even simple but human.  Ask the vendor about him, his visions, his projects, his story and self.  I say this maybe to excess and a repeated wet, but today is different.  Started with music, and last night with that real estate doc.  Have idea for letter… to old friend, in real estate.  Sending.  Well, writing first then sending.

Sent.

9:26, and my speed hasn’t fizzled in the least.  Have to send a couple more letters, or notes. Then to the drive.  On The Road, my essential and most fundamental and fixed of figures.  I’m finding that business isn’t speed dependent but sight dependent. What you see for yourself and how you see the steps in front of you.  Talking to Abe in the other building and the presentation he’s about to make and the precision that’s necessitated in what he’s about to do, there’s more lesson.

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