4-27-24

In my head.  How can I not be.  I write.

Leaning on the latte, and sparkling water I got at Peet’s.

Missing the Nurse and trying to distract myself as best I can… looking at real estate, and travel spots.  Everywhere from Paris to Texas, New York, and wherever… and using my fucking camera more.  Pissed at myself barely touching it since purchased.

Will charge it in a bit. 

Didn’t write a thing last night as I planned.  And furious with self.  Starting ‘New Story’.  Will get into it in the book, if I remember. 

09:41, alerted big kids I’m back and breakfast is available whenever they need or wish.  Settling in my thoughts, softly, slowly, with method.  Simplicity and minimalism.  Self-talk mission this morning and I imagine into much of the day.

The new sales story starting I’d imagine either next week or that after.  Prepped notes and vendor list, and territory scoping.  Turning the ‘prospectesk’ book into an actual character and movement.  Not like ‘a movement’ as people would say, but something like it. And for me, my kids, to ensure this works.

Text from the Nurse… much of the reason I’m in my head.  I’m missing her to a point of cripple.  But I am strong.  Like I just wrote her, we are not apart.  She is here.  With me.

We are ALWAYS together.  How I translate the day, my mood and character shape and scape.  09:49 and not starting new paragraph.  I’m a student of the moment and this kitchen nook, the loft, its emphasis and demand of positive pulse and spoken architecture.  I will work hard, harder than the Nurse which is impossible but I will try.  I will mimc her ways and habits, become a creature of like her.

Never met a human like her.  Didn’t think they existed anymore, to be honest.  My thoughts.. write from this love.  Let that be the additional pour, not some measly wine type.  Her words, her house and the villa-ness to it.  The plants we planted, the strawberries and tomatoes… the pool, that couch where we sit and listen to music.

Twirling in memory, and it’s beyond an intoxicant.  NEW STORY, no need for quote marks or the singular apostrophes surrounding.  Are those apostrophes?  I don’t care.

NEW STORY.

NEW STORY…..

NEW.STORY.

Writing till I’m appeased which will be no time soon.  I’m furiously dedicated to this and the new sales book about to be written.  Presence and narration, visibility and language.  Communication and the creative facet which most forget.

09:54…..  Monday plan written.  Vendor list, need to re-do, I think.  Organize it differently, or something.  Start another expense sheet as well.  Prospectesk giving new complexion and consistency…. The aim is growth, that simple.

Closing one business, blog, and starting and more devotion to another.  PROSPECTESK….  Architecture of ideas.  I can’t stop now, following through…. Promising self to stay up late tonight and fucking WORK.

No wine… only water and coffee.  Do I have any decaf here?