Stay Moving Stay Busy Stay STARVED

3/17/20, Tuesday – Hi.  I’m still alive.

And so are millions and billions of other people.  Not making light of anything, just my attitude.  I thought this morning driving here to the Sonic office about style, and about influence, how lately I’ve tried to be more Sedaris-esque, or Lawson-y, rather than completely Mike Madigan-ish.  In fact, no -ish.  Just all Mike Madigan.  Either way, here I am in the nook.  Have a call at 9am.  Just want to sell something.  I know people are slowing up, or down, but goddamnit I want to SELL.  I know this goes against everything I wrote and posted yesterday about going back to the drawing board.  Shit, still need to edit that restroom piece.  Where is it?

Found it.

Quiet.  Saw one employee walk in.  I should take the day off.  And quarantine.  There’s that word again.  Quarantine.  Maybe that is the right idea.  I could finish a whole flippin book.  Right?  Couldn’t I?  I mean, I think I could.  This new journal, not sure what’s so new about it. It’s another journal.  Maybe that’s what I should’ve titled the doc.

Didn’t hit ANY of my homework aims for last night, in terms of wine writing, or …. Anything.  Who cares, I tell myself.  This is a crazy and crucial time, just the right excuse I need to be dismissive or lazy, or not get certain things done.

That was a joke.  A bad one, but still with joke intentions.

I’m just sitting here, sending emails back and forth.  May email a prospect some numbers in a minute.  Two prospects, actually.  Then wait some more.  Yes, waiting… waiting for what.  Godot.

Just sent a quote to prospect, the one I was stressing over this morning.  Wished someone well, a good day and to stay healthy and safe.  I guess that’s what you do in these times. What times.  I don’t know, the times you’re told to do something like that.  I meant it, just noticed that everyone’s doing it.  Not going to say anything else.  Cuz then I’ll be that guy.  Vocal commenting clown.  So, I sip the latte.

Third estimate out, and it’s not even 10 o’clock as my Sales Engineer pointed out.  At least I’m being productive… why do I say that, I’m always producing, moving… need to give self more credit.  Not too much though, don’t want to be that guy either.

Everyone telling me there might be a “shelter-in-place” order for Sonoma County.  Trying not to cuss, but I so what to say that word right now.  Would feel so good.  PIG-LICKER!!!  That’s instead of.  Too lazy to look up Shakespearean insults graph.  This quarantine could offer an interesting opportunity in terms of writing, I’m seeing.  Think that might be selfish.  Is it though?  Look at what this thing has done to me, to us.  I could pretend I’m in some dystopian film, one that wouldn’t attract many ticket sales.  Or maybe this is a blockbuster.  I will write this… all of this.

Don’t want this new journal to be all COVID-coded.

Day 9.  About conviction, about defiance, about all of us finding what we’re searching for.  Coltrane playing me and eased track.  Didn’t record my spoken word piece yesterday.  Was distracted by that bottle of Inspiration Syrah, the quiet of the house, and thoughts of writing about the wine industry.  When in my office, I see such a book taking shape, in not much time either.  Citing everything from the ridiculous pay, to the overwhelming focus on anything but get wine, to patterns and posturing from those patterns.
A truck passes me on 128.  Hate typing on my phone, but this is what I have currently.  Hoping for a day not at all busy.  Not at all preoccupied with the winery making its number for the month, but more my sanity, my sentences, this project and others.
This week in the office, I’m going to loudly and communicatively accelerate all movements and sights.  Why can’t I be the highest selling AE in my first year?  There is no law or rule or policy prohibiting such.  Actually, Sonic is the atmosphere that enables and emboldens such a progression to take place.  Whatever we do for work, we need not only make it our own, but have it teach us and be a measure of effort.  We should always seek to against ourselves compete.
Bed early tonight.  Wake at 5, 4 if you can.  At the end of 100 days, there will be a visual of such altitude, such attainment.  If I’m not the highest earner, I’ll have shocked everyone with what I’ve done.  Make calls, SET APPOINTMENTS…. just say hi.  Forget about return, certainly immediate return.  That’s a foot shot, I’ve learned, and an error the wine industry continues to seemingly want to make.  And I e never figured out why, why they expect such instant transaction and metrics ascension.  I’ve given up trying to learn, now focusing on my Sonic story and sense of new sense and story, character.
This writing spot, little spacious and sizeable inlet, used to write here in 2012 as I mentioned, and later in 2017 when working at the Foley camp.  Now, story is different.  Not at all fearful to question and defy regularity and policy, not that I was before.  But Sonic has shown me that one idea can prove purposeful and provide a purpose which pervades till your final day.  Such is now, such is me, such is my poetic and newly purposed immediacy.
What do I want from the day.  Peace.  Ideas for this week.  Ideas on growth, branding and rebranding but more than that…. CHARACTER.  Story.  Life.  Revolution.  Start acting like a revolutionary, I said to myself and some other people at Sonic a few months ago.  Today…. watch.  And won’t do so with malice or a burn-bridge intent, but to have my identity known.  For all in contact with me, not just for me.  If I’m not making sense I apologize….. you’ll see what I mean, shortly.