Tag: photography blog

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

She is my heart, my marrow….. my population of thoughts of any size or degree.

14:59

After an unnecessarily long meeting which didn’t accomplish a fucking thing and having to listen to more than one babbling goof say whatever came to their pea brain, I had sushi and now back at the desk.  Don’t want music, just quiet…

The Nurse, always saying the right thing… need to write her in a bit.  Need to write her more, or write about her and what she’s reached after all her adversity faced.  Or maybe I should write more about me and the photog… of course, didn’t charge the cam last night.

Can’t take pictures if you don’t do that.  So then, tonight, take pictures of anything.  The walkway.. the brick wall, play with the camera settings.  Teaching myself how to really photog tonight.

Started writing her something then stopped.  Changing attention, work.  The writing, from the photography.. need a picture. 

Oh shit… forgot about this shot, but now totally remember it.  She looks so little, my daughter.  Almost like it’s not her.  Make me feel panicked, or lost, like I’m not appreciating the time…

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. LOVE!!!!!

Nurse surprising me yesterday, still surprises me.  Seeing her in the Oliver’s parking lot and laughing with me to the Tavern, then coming back here to relax a little.  Missing her and my thoughts are disrupted further, and more intensely.  Find a distraction. Nothing against her, certainly no criticism, but to survive…

Of course at the new telecom there will be training, and instruction, some cultural orientation I’m sure…. But I need to have my thesis set.  Who I am when I walk in, when I arrive.

Nurse tells me she brought the copy of Magical Thinking with her to work.  Starting a new doc here— Shit, I have to start getting Henry ready.  Goddamnit…

The new doc, the book.  Or maybe, use the laptop.  NO, follow through with what you proposed and don’t overthink….

NEW STORY—

Days before it starts…. Of course there are nerves, and I think about how old I am and what I could have done different.  But, MOOT.  Don’t, Mike… seriously.  Don’t even start down that Road.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! parenting life photog Productivity Readings/Writings sales-y

21:17

Baseball game and practice.  Dinner with one of Jack’s friends, nice kid, and now we’re all back at the loft.  Can’t write with all the noise and loud talking over whatever….  Taking a night off.  Little to no writing.

Journaling later, when they’re all asleep.  Or early in the morning.  Missing the Nurse.  Still can’t believe she surprised me as she did today, sneaking up behind me, lightly sprinting and making me get into defensive sparring form.  I laughed, we laughed, hugged and kissed continuously till we sat down in the Tavern at Oliver’s, listening to jazz having lunch.

I keep replaying it…

Anyway, break.  Till later.  Promising myself quiet writing later and in the morning.  Not an either/or matter.  I will take both.

The Nurse and her texts, earlier today, the surprise and feeling like I’m dreaming.  Couldn’t believe that she was here, having lunch with me.  I’m still floating, I just texted her.

How do I have this human in my life?  How is she with me?  Why me?  And why the fuck am I overthinking and questioning?

Following her character, her ways, this sweet little Nurse.  Prepared to fight for this story, this happiness—  this FREEDOM.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness Holy Contour, a running declaration just writing LOVE!!!!! parenting life Productivity Readings/Writings sales-y

5-24-24

10:51

Windsor, at the poz loft.

Back from a 6.5 mile run, 9:06 pace.  Not sure what go into me, but I thought about BDT the entire route, much of which was modified around the high school after running the length of Conde lane.

Everything informs the business.  EVERYTHING.  All my habits and practices, production.  Like the Nurse says, healthy and productive habits… always.

I rely on her wisdom like I have never anyone else’s.  This last day of my hiatus, before the new sales story’s wheels leave the ground, I’m meditative, calm, in fighter mode.  BDT is about fighting to have your story read, heard, seen and felt.

I am a writer, and that is how I will retire.  Not as a sales character, but book molder, storyteller.  Sounding the remaining 30 or so minutes here at the loft writing in this nook, messaging the Nurse between paragraphs of course.  I cannot get her away from my sight, not that I’m trying but even if I were I’d be wholly unsuccessful.

She is my compass and consciousness… in EVERYTHING.  Working as she does, all hours and without much of a pause.  Love that girl.

Trying to focus though, the BDT shop, office, practice…. Considering all days their own product.  That is, today… the run for me, informing me as Client 1 for BDT… the writer needs to be disciplined.  The writer needs to write EVERYTHING.  All objects, sounds, visuals, emotions and feelings and even inklings are pillars in the day’s architecture.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! parenting life Productivity Readings/Writings sales-y

13:03 –> Writing and thinking freely here at Oliver’s.  Still in the Tavern thinking about the kids,

how finally I see them tonight.  Fighting for the scene I see, motivated by the Nurse and her story.  Her schooling, other contributors and detractors, and where she is now.  My sweet, beautiful girl…

This place makes me think of her.  We had dinner here recently, that coconut chicken and rice, and a salad.  Everything we do is enjoyable, silly and/or fun.  Never known such a relationship, something so easy.  And how she is with the kids, I could write a book on that alone.  Give it its own blog, project, narrative, Story… and maybe I will.

Do I need anything here for the kids, I think to myself.  Yes – Fruit, no bread or cheese, milk for sure, what else…?

I’ll walk around the store as I always do, something will come to me.  Limiting Self to a meal a day, at least for today.  Just snack later.  Taking beer out of diet completely, only wine and less of it.

Waking early tomorrow to work out with weights in room before kids wake, then make their lunches.  Tomorrow, the last of ‘time off’.  Wow, that went b y quick, but didn’t.  Beyond excited about this New Story. In sales, but not.  Tech and telecom, where I built my book.

About EVERYTHING.  Like an inward chant, proclamation and declaration.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! Productivity

5-21-24

Santa Rosa, CA.

Freeman Auto.

Waiting for car.  Came here without an appointment but I have work to do, notes to put to page, content to distribute.  The professor, returning to such a stage but how.  Put out everything I can… everything is a story, everything teaches.

Man sits across from me, I sip the coffee from the thin rectangular table under the TV.  Why did he choose that seat?  Probably late 50s early 60s, 49ers hat on and sipping what I guess is coffee from a mug.  I know there are answers and signs here, directions for me.  Waiting on them, or maybe I don’t need to.

AirPods working finally, after the Nurse showed me how to connect them.  So the noise pushed into back-background.

Knowing exactly what I’m after, standards given new altitude.  Lean back into chair, and certain.

Guy in 9ers cap reading a book, man to left talking on the phone about his taxes and how something was wrong.  I hear everything, still.  Ears not interested in the chilled instrumentals playing.

Less than a week…. Writing a thousand-word note to myself for the first week.  Temperament, my first words and urgency.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! Productivity Readings/Writings

journal morning

5-20-24

Nurse doing some work upstairs, me in kitchen about to kill my latte.  Going into this week with an attitude, one positive and empowered.

The new story starting soon, I can only be aloft with perspective and my way – walk and talk and translation of ALL events.  Everything.

About EVERYTHING – returning to my story, my most essential and principle of canvases.  Listening to birds from this seat, all I have to do is produce more content, I tell myself.  Writing—  Interrupted by a lead from an IT partner.  Shouldn’t say interrupted, but surprised I guess would be a better word.  Drawing from everything and everywhere, everyone charging toward this story.

My attitude now – calm but still intensified, a bit of a roar about me heading toward 45 years fucking old.  Don’t say it like that I can hear people say… one rule of writing, or not a rule I don’t know, is don’t spend too much time in one place.  Biennial to be focused, but to suffocate yourself in any one direction kills Composition.

Shit I may need more coffee…. Birds again, singing freely and carelessly, teaching me.  A lesson in Composition, reaching Composition – always the aim.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! parenting life Productivity Readings/Writings sales-y

5-17-24

Okay, I think my system is working here at the poz loft.

Been writing on the third floor for over an hour, on the BOOK.

Yes, the fucking book.  Over 1001 words and I feel fucking AMAZE-BALLS.

Latte almost done, have to switch out laundry, charge the other laptop.  Love writing at this desk, the view and how it feels, the visual.. will use the same image I used on the Medium post.  No just took one and will use it.

My gratitude and near disbelief that I have an office like this is stunning me right now.

Nurse on a coffee date with her Nurse friends, me over here prepping for the new story, a sale story that will augment and amplify everything that is now on the writer’s stage.

Biggest push into the book project in easily a year, possibly more.  The power to do so, nothing I have to work up to or wish for.  It’s already here, contouring about my character.

Writing my way to IT, like I wrote this morning.  The IT in Road, what Dean felt from the saxophone.  

Writing at this desk in my new office, just magic.  A new book of spells or something, that Harry Potter ability.  Honestly what it makes me think of.

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#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! Productivity

notes this morning…

5-16-24

Planning on running at 10:15, 10:30 at latest.

Kids here later, need to hit the store at some point.  Shorter entries today.

Already some things done… message Nurse, go through emails.  Scribble quick list for day.

Is it just coffee in the morning for us?  No.  Definitely not.  This morning arriving at the Vacaville Peet’s only to see it closed, because of a system outage.  “We need to do Fairfield then,” the Nurse said.

So we skipped to our rides and drove down 80 to the Fairfield spot.  Once we ordered, there was a sheet of sanity that fell over us, or at least me.  To me.

It’s out tradition, or more than that. Something that connects our two worlds, a daily reminder to be grateful, enjoy the simple shapes and colors, tastes in a day.

Coffee.  That’s it.  Having that tremendous a weight and gravity on us both.  Here in my office, the loft, and I can’t stop smiling about it.  How quickly we just made something happen the Nurse and I, drive to the other spot next to her campus.  

And there we were, both of us this morning with our latte species.  Hers a vanilla I think, and mine, well, just the basic non-exciting model.

Categories
#blogeverythingnow HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing LOVE!!!!! Productivity

12:45, leaving before too long.  Collecting thoughts, looking for one of my journals, the…. Where is it?  The Archive? 

Hate when I lose things.

Not letting it disturb my peace or break Composition of Character.  After a quick dash up to the third floor, my room in the new desk there it is.  Laughed at myself the whole way back down here.  Was actually stressing about it, but m feelings were genuine, and from a love of writing.  Journaling, recording thoughts, playing with and learning from them.

Mental Health… more exploration of.  My own, and after going through certain things.  Learning that so much is out of my control, and the degree to which you might worry, now, will later seem silly, and you ask yourself WHY.

Did you think it was going to be forever, that feeling and way, the tension or whatever plagued you?

No, of course not.

More espresso after a shower and shaving, quick lunch here at the loft saving not only money but fucking TIME.