4:19.  Thinking about class tonight.  What to say.  What do I say?  I don’t know if I have the class or not.  And I’m not getting any kind of an answer from anyone.  Definitely not the Chair.  So… make it my own.  Roll with it, to an extent, as Dad advised.  Have some notes written, and that’s about it. Was told to not compose a syllabus.  Was told to do 1A “stuff”.  The Chair actually wrote that, in an email.  So that’s what I’ll do.  I know exactly what to do.  ME.  Speak me, my ideas, to elevate and empower students.  At lunch while walking back from the restroom to wash hands, SELL ME.  Don’t sell Sonic, anymore.  All the technical shit, I’ll learn it as I learn it. No rush.  I can sell me and that’s what I’ll sell.  And it’s not selling, as I wrote several times before.  But sharing, communicating.  Ideas.  That’s all it is. Ideas.

18

Seeking to understand and absolutely, definitively embody the Enterprise Experience.  That is the only way I’ll be any “good” in this position, and land those whales that were mentioned in yesterday’s meeting.  Keep moving, of course.  Even when people around me want to come to my area and talk about something, like the struggle of students in the college forum today and the adjuncts and what they’re faced with, something frankly I’m tired of talking about but anyway….

Shaking a mood I had earlier, all over the courses this semester.  Will I keep them or will they be taken back by the lazy tenured rodent that was assigned the class in the first place.  Maybe I won’t keep them.  Maybe this is just the shove I need to turn professormikey.com into a real platform and business, a way to lecture everywhere on writing and reading, on literature….  Didn’t read last night.  Fuck.  Just snuck in a couple lines of Destiny Thief.  Will read at lunch, or tonight.  Definitely tonight.  Oh wait… won’t get home till late. Well, that’s perfect.  Read over dinner, to the rest of that Cab on the counter.

Writing this morning, toward this Enterprise character.  Focus on the most disruptive and profitable product.  Done.  Stay on the phone, and don’t sell.  Just tell them you want to meet them.  That’s it. You want to meet them, and tell them a little about what we do.  Sonic is all about communication and community, but more so than that, creativity.  And, an understatedness of things.  Don’t be so obvious.

Writer in a tech company.  A literary guy speaking and I guess selling internet and phone.  No.. I don’t sell internet and phone.  I don’t sell.  I communicate, I create.  I’m learning this new identity.  Richard Russo says that college is like a witness protection program.  Not sure I agree, but I understand and am entertained by the analogy.  With its own demarche, this building and this desk, me sitting at it wanting to fulling understand this identity, story, experience.

Need a box of some kind for these business cards that I’ve accrued since starting in this division.  Where do I get one?  Just asking self questions, not necessarily expecting an answer, but just posing them to pose them, to make them official or something official-y.  So no, you’ll never find me listed or named in some punditocracy.  I have too many questions.  This blog, if anything, is a question avalanche, waterfall or flood of inquiry. How else will I understand this story, this new position or role, persona, identity, figure, voice….

9:03.  Thought of having another cup of coffee, but that’s probably not the best motion.  Water.  Discipline, remember?  Getting a sparkling in a second.  Then make some calls.  Have a meeting at 11, then a lunch meeting at 12.  Not so much a meeting from what I gather, but just a gathering.  Will need another coffee before too long.  And one before class tonight.  “Class tonight”.  Didn’t think I’d be writing that, anymore.

5pm

Leaving office in a bit.  Feeling self getting stronger in the AE character.  Everything from contract progression to speak of the services and everything we offer, as well as the day-to-day movement of someone in this character. More than building a “funnel”, or prospecting, or even selling, but new and decided acknowledgement and study of your abilities.  Ones you didn’t know were there. Ones that surprise you irreversibly the second you discover them.  I’ll write it here, again, this is all writing.  It’s all narrative, the excavation of your own psychology in your work.  What you do, and having it be more than just ‘what you do’.  Who you are, the composition of your Now.  Could be said that this has been one of the more educating weeks or my life.

Brainstorming new writing routine… points every day to hit:

1 letter

1,000 words

1 haiku

1 poem

Write in newest journal, any length, could be as short as a sentence, or even singular word

1 blog post to bottledaux blog

……..

If I think of anything else to add to list, if you know me, you know I wil.

14

8/16/19

Busy day and I can’t get enough of it.  One appointment, found a prospect, and am working on another interested prospect.  More comfortable with the technological dimension and consistency to what I do here at Sonic.  Learning a new language, culture, way, manner, self.  Again, new story.  New character.  Character development and shift.

About to take a lunch.  Pizza Friday, of course.  Not having to buy lunch always puts a smile on the writer’s mask.  Desk more organized.  Day’s like today teach me to study why they’re days like today. The composition, the complexion, the pulse and the assembly of realities.

1:38pm

Back from lunch, and still tired.  Sipping from the last coffee I got self, which was the first, from the breakroom.  Made one call, straight to voicemail.  Want to transact…. Want to fucking SELL.  Can feel myself getting impatient, and this IS valuable to readers in sales.  Don’t get impatient.  Don’t let yourself get lost in your impatient form of self.

Start with the people you know.  That’s all I can now muster and see and promising, beneficial.

Get enough sleep.  Tonight I will be sure to be in bed as soon as home.  Definitely before 9.  In order to know my Now, and control it to a point where I’m freed, I need adequate rest.  If I can get it.  You can probably tell that right now I’m a bit wandering and sluggish, more than usual.  So… keep working.  Get back on the bloody phone…

13

8/15/19.

Going through business cards.  Building community, today.  Writing about writing, in other project.  Tired from waking just after 5, and long day yesterday.  Novato mixer, tonight.  Keep self moving.  ‘Nother cup of coffee from office.  Too hot for a walk, or any “fresh air”.  To me, air is never fresh when it’s hot.

Tired, and not as functional as I should be.  But I keep working, moving… need to accelerate other projects.  Winery this weekend, time on Saturday to tend to certain projects.  Lunch now, some training later, then Novato event.

4pm.

Got out of office and walked around in Rohnert Park, new territory.  5 possibilities from the outing.  Now, tomorrow on mind.  Wait, no… 6.  SIX possibilities/leads from today’s canvass.  Leaving office a bit after 5.  Longer day tomorrow, with event in Marin, then a considerably longer day on Thursday.  Good, I’m saying to myself. More conversations, more opportunities to connect to people, build business, build something.

Sonic is reminding me, literally daily, that it’s not WHO you know, but HOW you know.  Not pushing, not prospecting, but talking.  A chat.  More casual that professional.  Want wine, a brainstorming session tonight.  After work. Where.  Call friend Adrian, talk business with him, see what projects he has pluming.  Just talk… ideas flying around room.  Or not talk business.  Just talk.  Intentions are great, but if you’re too intent on the intentions and only see what you want, then you sink.