Behind in my NaNo

project. Have to write tonight…. Begging the story, my story, to make me write tonight.

Soon leaving for Corte Madera. Opportunity for new business and speaking Sonic, and have people be aware of me and my words.

Latte at home, fans still going drying out the ceiling from upstairs leak. Surprised how that happened, a bother, but teaching me more into homes and real estate, how homes are built and properties and their value… someone’s home, the beaming gravity of such.

I’m not too old for new interests and pursuits, no?

Have to write a short bio, for tomorrow’s introduction… introducing me before I give my Sonic lecture.

Then I just get an email from the chapter president that the meeting’s cancelled.  Good… well, not GOOD, but I’m not saddened by it.  More of a morning, for me.  What to do…..  go somewhere and write.  Maybe Peet’s.

Alone in bullpen.  Just finished this long, somewhat silly but then unexpectedly useful online class for leads group.  Could use a walk.

My novel could use some of its daily attention.

Run tomorrow, and the next day.

Only five miles tomorrow, then EIGHT on Friday.  No excuses.

Oh shit.. forgot I need to write that bio.  Do it later.  No, NOW….

Mike Madigan

Born in Santa Cruz, raised in San Carlos.

B.A. in English with a Creative Writing emphasis, M.A. in English with Literary Theory and Philosophy emphasis.

Mike lives in Santa Rosa with his wife and two kids, Jack (7) and Emma (3).

There is no spare time, Mike maintains.  There is only time to create, learn, connect, and love.

Mike has been teaching at the college level for 13 years, and in the wine industry for the same amount of time.  He currently works at Sonic, consults and blogs/writes in the wine world/industry, lectures two courses at SRJC and runs as much as he can.

A quote he lives by, “If you have no critics you’ll likely have no success.” (Malcom X)

His reason for being at Sonic, to build business from creative education, genuine connectedness, and love for community and customer care.

How’s that?  Will pay attention to novel tonight, as much as I can.  4:51, should leave soon.  Want a glass of wine.  Just have the Rose under my desk.  Take it home…. Enjoy it.  Enjoy lots of it.  Not happy about these power outages, but I’ve always said “Go with the story, work with existing momentum, not against it.”

Office now so quiet. Everyone in the barnyard, my little neighborhood, gone.  Maybe I should stay a bit, get the day’s contribution to novel to 500 words.  Why not.

10/9/19

Two years ago, the fires.  And now… me heading to Berkeley by myself.  Out of the wine industry, done with 4-shot latte, and not touching NaNo project till this evening, or later in day.  Maybe this morning, not sure.

Have to leave at 9-9:15.  In meantime, write.  Plan day.  Write what I want into existence.

Chardonnay last night, with something wife made.  Can’t think, with people talking around me but like I tell my students just write, ignore it. Last night’s discussion on Plath has me wanting to write my own opinion paper, about her writing after asking students “Why Write?” Prompt for last night’s meeting.

Just noted to self… “Write what you see and what you know, what you love and where you’ll go.” This morning I’m intent—no, more than that.  What the hell am I? Something I’ve never been before, I feel.  The technical aspect of what I do for Sonic does a bit unnerve and intimidate me, but I ignore it.  I can act.  Or not act, but assimilate, have a different fate.

So……..  Driving soon.  Travel light.  Only a work folder, or pouch, or whatever the hell this thing’s called.

Writing about work has me with exposed fangs, wanting more work, more projects, more invitations for creative.  Woke at fucking 6:20-something this morning when I so profusely wanted to be up at 4.  But, the run, and I think the Chardonnay blocked what was sought.

Some people bringing their kids to work, with nearly every school in Sonoma County closed for the day.  All except for wife’s.  Can’t figure that out. Jack to work with her.  Wonder what he’ll do there.  This morning Jack showing me how many notes, letters really, he’s writing.  If he writes a certain number of letters, he earns stickers, and eventually his name will be mentioned on the loudspeaker at his school. His aim arrangement and orientation teaches me about me, what I need do with my nano novel  I remember thinking how tired I was last night instead of just diving into my novel.  When home, tonight, just open the laptop, do touch-and-go’s on novel.

Gears in switch.  Prep for Berkeley drive, gather materials, though not much.  Posted something, texted wife, moving miles in less than a minute.

4:40.

Possible power outages.  Everyone talking about it. If it happens, it happens.  Just my mind about it.  Getting a beer after this, then class.

Going to send my EOD, and possibly leave early.  Just thinking about it, at this point.  Wonder how life will be affected if the power is out for several days as some say might happen.  Not worrying about it.

Checking schedule, when I can write…. Daily word quote still enough under 2000 words that I’m in an eased writer spree and breeze.

Alone in bullpen.  Trainers gone, my AAE partner gone.  And nothing really to write.

How ‘bout a walk.  Use restroom.  Walk slow.

Now back.  Nothing to write and feeling anxious.  But what would I tell my students.  Of course, relax and don’t force it.  IT, whatever IT is, will find you.

Day SIXTY-SEVEN

Feeling a bit overwhelmed, and scattered and stressed with all these projects, with all these directions.  No matter, no weights slows this writer.  Craving my own office like I never have.  With plenty energy today, not having a drop of wine last night and going to bed stupendously early.  Think… think…. What to put out next, in terms of story….  The morning, the coffee, the pen, the paper.  That’s it, like I always stress to students.. Where are you and what are you doing?

Mapping out day, even though it’s most mapped.  Going for a run at 11:30, then back in office and head to Petaluma.  Set appointments.  I want at least two, for the day.  Log everything…. Places hit, self-evaluation, notes on what to say even though I keep it not so much simple but succinct and unassuming.

5800 words in novel.  My daily goal is under 2000 words, so I’m more than safe and comfortable with the pace expected, demanded.  Home from lunch and babies have a snack.  Emma not wanting anything at lunch but an ice water and some bites of the chips and salsa while Jackie ordered and devoured a quesadilla with rice and beans.  Then we played in the park, and they were out before we reached the River Road exit.  Now Emma has some yogurt, Jack finished his and rests on couch.

More wine writing for me.  Need something to study and survey tonight, but what.  Thinking target a bargain bottle from Bottle Barn, see what type of force I can acquire for less than $20.  One of those missions, you know?  Or, have the Kunde Rose that’s in the fridge.  I’ve never felt that Rose though could be anything so worth an avalanche of pages.  Maybe this one will be.  Tasted it the other weekend, last I believe, when visiting Dwight in the tasting room.  Actually he was outside on the patio by the water helping some tech group from the city, majority of which were hungover form a wedding the prior nuit.

Not as behind as I thought in the nano novel.  My mood is in the clouds, looking down at myself and watching as I write about this character who writes only wine, how wine is his story and the framing and dimension of wine, how it’s not at all what’s in the glass.  It’s morning’s like this when I’m finally able to spend time with your kids, enjoy time in the morning where it’s just you and them.

The novel is teaching me something about me and me at Sonic, me as a writer, this last semester at the JC.

Tomorrow at the winery, will be felt in my story, and the story of the character that I’m writing.

Another thousand for nano book.  Still want another thousand to bring me over 3k, but we’ll see.  Reasoned I’ll let students go early.  Get something to eat, soon.  Finally going for a run tomorrow, at lunch.  Tech event in the city tomorrow…. Will do what I can in terms of connections and “networking”, whatever.

6:03.  Head to campus in a bit.  Need a wine to pair with dinner, but I have no idea what I want. Smell garlic, or garlic fries.  No, garlic bread.  That has to be bread.  Thinking Chinese food tonight.  Or Mexican.  Ugh… 

Need new dimension to novel…. Be more wild when writing it. It’s fiction, I have to remind self.  Make the character uncomfortable…. Or, make him, hmmmm…. What do I do.  Not going to overthink it.  That’s best way to get me to do what I always do and that’s abandon the project before it’s really or at all left ground.

Tomorrow’s run needs to be at least 7 miles. Haven’t run in a bit, doing those fucking HIIT classes, but I think I can.  If I can hit 8, I’ll see self as back in shape. MY measure, my standard, wrong as it might be.

Trying NaNo, again.  Approaching 2500 words, so I’m absolutely behind schedule. May let class out horribly, delightfully early tonight.  Have them stay in touch with me via blog and email. Give them an assignment, and hit 3000+ words for day.  Would love 3500, but I have to not write so much for this blog and more for book.  Joe, my character.  Named after….. me?  My middle name? I don’t know.  Either way, I’m writing myself through and out of this stall and slowness with a novel.

Saturday morning. No winery, no winery event to work.

Just time with the babies, my latte.  May go for a run later, but legs are still sore from the workout Thursday.  Headed to winery for sure, Katie’s, in a few hours.  Thinking, what can I do for the agency, my P-O-Z project.  Can I prospect today, at all?  Thinking yes, in Kenwood, and…. Downtown a couple places, just stop in and say hi.  That’s it.  So not really prospecting, but building that community.  Writing more this morning and telling self not to obsess over any to-do’s.  Should have woke earlier.  Can do tomorrow, I tell myself but then wonder if that’ll happen.  Making today about wine, the world of wineries I’m from, having that part of the P-O-Z.

This past week actually writing and outline a definition for the Agency.  Recruitment, conversation, creativity of course, blogging, a real estate/real estate agent approach (which also demands definition).  This coming week, need follow up on appointment invitations.  Have to call Berkeley prospect today at some point, may do from St. Francis.  May do some POZ work there.  No more hyphenating, I just decided.  If you know me you know I hate punctuation.  Punctuation is all about rules, and POZ is about whim and kindness and communicative impulse.

Kids asking me to bring them water, I do, and without any forecast or sight I have a business hot–  Just get people what they want.  Never say no, offer alternative.  I’ve thought that before, so nothing terribly significant, but I had to write it.  My AE story separates from the AE insinuation and progression, and even Sonic, and wheels a proliferation of sovereignty.  I remember one day in the morning, 2008 at Sonoma State before one of my morning Composition.  All stemming from my observations at Sonic which constitute a certain hegemony, steering my ideas and lens perceptively in the business world and beat of things.

Sonic instructs much more than wine’s flimsy industry ever did or could do, and instills an echoing reiteration of simplicity, spontaneity, to be a dumbsaint and constant scribbler, seer, poetic architecture and holy contour of business.. This AE act, which isn’t an act I use that word with literary purposing and intonation, shows me business is not business as people estimate and define.  IT’s more connotative and deno’.  Think about it, they hired a wine writer and blogger for a supervisory position.  In Field Sales, no less.  This not only edifies and adduces their business philosophy and welcoming consistencies with everything.  Sonic teaches me about business, not the wine industry. And writing, how to write with more precision and moment-to-moment beat-like beat and likeness.

Was told ten years ago that I should blog about wine, and I have been since then on and off and then again loudly on, you could say.  But now, I write and blog about work.  About business, and how NO ONE should have to hold a job they don’t LOVE.  Yes, love.  There will be projects you are less excited about, but the character you are, and the story you’re in where you work was decided by you.  SO, there should only be love.

9:15am, and the babies continue to enjoy a lazy Saturday morning of cartoons while I let the caffeine in these 4 shots of espresso type away.  The contour of my AE spree, where is it taking me.  To my own office, yes, but to more realizations of life and business, the desk I sit at everyday, the meetings like yesterday.

Making the Sonic calendar my master and only calendar.  For everything.  Putting winery visit and light canvassing on today’s square, for noon.  Two other spots I want to visit, say hi.  Palooza, maybe Ty Caton, and then …. OH, a couple breweries.  One spot downtown.  If anything else, more community assembly. 

Why does one want their own business.  Somewhat a question that answers itself, with the words THEIR OWN.  It’s theirs.  This morning, feeling’s though I’m at Sonic, at my desk, walking around my building and the other like yesterday saying hello to friends in other departments.

Kids’ cartoon starting to distract me.  Can only write in short paragraph, quasi-HST form. With attention wandering.  Caffeine starts to control and fly me like a barely-built vessel.  In my office, like the office I’ve studied and seen online, with a tech/startup/chic library/wine bar feel.  Will there be wine in the office, yes.  No drinking during creating hours.  Not “work” hours, crEATive.  Hours are 7-5.  For me of course much longer, as with my partners in the same suite as me.  Not a “C suite”, or management cove.  Just my fellow or other deciders.  Like the coLAB downtown, I want colors and shine, encouragement to create, isolation rooms and studios.  Everything to elevate moods and impetus to ink a story.

Message from my real estate friend of 20+ years, suggesting I use social media more.  Funny, thought the same while driving to Danville yesterday, taking a picture of the cover of the Sonic folder I gave the IT consultant focusing on Sonic logo and font.  Will post when done with this… this morning entry supplementing and augmenting, further facilitating my definition and defining of business.

All in the office should be not only kind and inviting, but tireless curious, suggestive and workshop-like.  Share entries and ideas, blend them together.  Have to snicker while typing this, recollecting moments years ago, right around ’08 when in my car jotting those musings on autonomy and sovereignty, where I wished for a great consolidation.  And I don’t think I’ll have it considered an office, but a colony, a creative colony, island, like Sonic.  Somewhere that values whim, privacy and openness, conversation, enjoyment and love of life like no other workplace.  Where you’re told you’re a genius of your own genius and genus.  You are the only you, this morning and all–  Where you’re not excited to be at work but dreading leaving at day’s close even before you sit down and start typing to your coffee or latte, mocha or chai.  My office, room, space will continue to explore business and define and redefine it—deconstruct and further construct agreeable and embracing edges of its drive.  Of its Road.