Tag: Mike Madigan blogger

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Health/Wellness

7:47am Track

……..

Up and doing budget— OH, one thing I forgot to do.  Actually two.  Making more a project of money and what I spend money on, how I budget, cash usage versus just swiping that bloody card.  Be right back….

Checkbook.  I hate writing checks.  Especially to certain bodies.  But, have to.

Budget done, now just listen to heater go and some new music I found….  The new house, needing a music room.  Making music paired with verse and listening.  A full music room.  Have to credit my son and his love of playing piano, riffs he’s learned and ones he’s made up himself.

Piano (electric), mic, guitar… drum machine…. Have to wait for the house.  Goddamnit, and when’s that going to be?  Hate being dependent on outside momentums.  Thinking about the rest of my life and how I want to spend it.  MUSIC, much more than wine though she’ll be there.  Espresso nearly done… one more shot before Chris gets here.  When’s that again?  10.  Little under 2 hours.

Stray $1 bills from wallet thrown into house envelope.  Simplicity over any corrosive complication.  That’s the new style of composition and life, seeing where you are, what you’re doing.  On the note of Comp, I want another journal even though I said I would NEVER buy another.  A small one, like in the Indiana Jones movie, Last Crusade.  NO, I tell myself.  Bring the Paris pages, the camera… empty backpack.  Have this be a REAL wine day, assignment – journalism, music.  Me and the rest of my life – Happiness recipe or code-cracking.

Wearing glasses, just tried to take them off and my eyes were/are fucked.  Is this what it feels like, getting old?  What would Sedaris do?  Make fun of it, THIS, my addiction to these “cheaters” Mom bought me.  Love her.  But, I don’t like being dependent on anything, especially for something as expected as sight.  Try to propitiate self with these glasses and my age, somehow.  Not working at present.  Okay, let’s try taking them off again….  I guess this is okay—  NOPE.  Putting them back on.

Ohhhhhhhh……. So much better.  Like an eyes massage.  Should budget an eye appointment, for some real glasses.  Or maybe these can do for now.  Seeing better, you take if for granted and if you don’t you understand the significance of sight, your vision, once it begins its retirement.  Ugh, there’s another old person word, ‘retirement’.  I don’t want to retire, EVER.  I’ll be like Keith Richards, people one day reading an article of mine or blog post and saying something like, ‘Oh… he’s still alive?”

One more espresso shot, the illy kind not Starbucks.  The other night, speaking with students about truth, and telling truth through stories, touching on the reality of rich reality in your immediate scene, the meta….  My kids, I then thought as I do so often, need to write them, about them, from their actions much more.  They are the most promising set of books approaching.  Henry the other night slamming on Jack’s piano keys… I put on LoFi beats for a little more beat and complete read of my room here, the table I use for a desk, the first sip of espresso even though I very much feel the frame and influence of the double I had prior.

8:29, should probably get in the shower soon.  All poems in one place….  The Paris pages.  Started writing a song, not sure how many verses it’ll be.  Just writing….  My new music story begins today, this morning, with all this fucking espresso and battle with my own eyes.  Deciding today that MUSIC is the story, stemming from everything already placed to page – the AE story, wine, running, health and fitness and my new focus on nutrition and fasting…

People today… who will we meet.  Backpack empty, putting in notebooks and camera after it’s charged, maybe.  Actually no, keeping it here.  Now what… I hit not so much a wall but a thick forest like the one on the mountain in front of me, that I see out the dining room window.  To many directions possible and I have no idea which to choose.   Follow the story, I remind self.  Don’t try to write it.  Sound like philosophy mumbo jumbo, but not.  Here, 42, writing, new story and freedom and happiness ahead of the writer and in many respects already here.  Now what.

I’m overthinking… I shouldn’t be thinking at all, I remember.  Just writing.  My entire life now, an impromptu recital and composition.  That’s life, that’s living, that’s SELF.  Friend with her cheese plate/charcuterie business, just acting from when she’s inspired or cosmically encouraged to do a board.  One morning waking at 3-something, spending the next two or more hours on ONE board.  I was shocked at the commitment but as well the turn in energy once motivated to create.

First sip, much better than the Starbucks shit.  This tastes like the espresso I had in Paris, when we first landed.—  Distracted by more music, and how my vision adjusts, or tries once the glasses are off.  Now back on.  Goddamnit.  Should I bring them today?  Yes, Mom would say, so I will.

Setting aside a couple hundred for music.  Thinking of making music with Jackie— WAIT, I almost forgot about Garage Band on this laptop….  Not the best program, obviously, but it’s music, there are notes in here, drums and other.  Need headphones… SHIT, mine are in storage.  Buy some new ones today, better ones.  See if I can get Chris to stop by Target or somewhere with me after the wine mission, get a glass somewhere, or something.  AND CHRIS, with is DJ and beats station at his house…. Yes, music returning to what it used to be in my story, when my cousin and I were making mixtapes, selling them.  One summer in Sunriver making over $100 each…. Forever ago.  My newly deployed weapon, arsenal against time – MUSIC.

Sip, stretch, bob head…

Categories
wine

One day selling BDX but maybe staying on as a consultant, working full-time in my little wine quarter.

YES.  Cemented, lamented, newly-invented.  Why wait though, why wait till things are at a certain stage or state?  Starting now…. I keep saying it, WINE is speaking to me directly this morning, last night, and more than likely the rest of the day till whatever we have with dinner and then into Saturday with Chris on Dry Creek and West Dry Creek Roads.

Coffee wearing off.  Shit.  Like one maybe two sips left.  Pound it, Mikey!

Done, tossed in small garbage can, plastic so I guess more of a ‘bin’, against the wall.  Wine is movement, wine is spontaneity, its own philosophy.  Finding an old wine shot from years ago, one of those days that I remember then forget then it finds me somehow, the memory and everything embodied.  Life’s work – written wine.  Feel like taking the rest of the day to myself, WRITE… finish the goddamn wine book but not have it be such a “wine book”.  You know?  Life.. dreams and visions, passion of course but more so LOVE, family, happiness, HEALTH.

…..

2:56pm, back home just off a call, espresso and another call at 3:30 then just waiting for English 1A zoom at 5.  A wall, hit.  Then I think of vineyard walks and the barrels, the leaves and how now they move to other colors and visuals.

I can see and feel the room I’m doing tastings in already, me opening bottles and trying everything first, then setting glasses.  Simple setting, nothing excessive or boastful, ostentatious.  Simply a table, glasses, wine, conversation.

Two leads land in my lap.  Well, older conversations that have come back to loud life.  If I can convert these then I can focus on setting up 2022.  Don’t get ahead of yourself, Mikey…. Be present in the Now’s architecture.  Then I yawn.. am I tired?  Not really…. No more espresso, that was the last shot of the day, sadly.

Tonight’s class…. Well, office hours, not a class.  Some quick notes, but for the most part speaking from whim, from what I feel in the moment.  Sedaris, Lawson, the students and their stories… more than enough for an hour but for some reason am anxious about it.  Ignore it…. Anxiety has to be acknowledged for it to exist or have meaning, for it to work.  So, not acknowledging.

New idea about writing, in 199-word pours or bits.  Was going to say “chunks” but I hate that word.  And I mean HATE it.  I look outside and the sky reminds me what season it is, where the vines are… the music of the vineyard rows now contrasted with bud break, or veraison.  The difference is what defines the process and winemaking, the sipper and if they’re thoughtful enough their connection to the glass’ contents.

3:22, wine for the night.  Pick something from Oliver’s shelf.  Going there in a minute, after call with Ditter.  Pinot…

Categories
wine

notes

A self-talk project or journal when it comes to prospecting, that’s what I’m thinking I need to do.  Or not.  How about just emailing people, saying hi… going for a walk.

Thought I had a call today but don’t.  What now….  Lunch?  Maybe.  Where.  And the indecisiveness starts.  Messages back and forth, one laptop to another.  Going a little crazy and may need to stretch.  Any coffee left? …..  Yes, a good amount.  11:07…

Tonight’s meeting over Zoom with students, about writing your own story, turns to take in the narration and ideas like that.  Has to be the last semester.  Need to realize this envisioned bridge of the AE story and BDX.

Another email… need a drive.  Sheesh.  Then a text.  Keep seeing myself selling wine, MY wine.  Well, my sister making it so I guess ‘ours’ technically.

The. Chardonnay last night, Migration, a kind shape and tell of Chardonnay in my opinion.  And the Canvasback Cab was like this new frame of climate and wined composition that was different even from that last time I tasted it, in Alexander Valley with Chris.  That’s what I need, that’s what I want – THAT, where I’m headed.

Categories
Health/Wellness

How do I start the day. Still not ready for prospecting, WHY.

Why is this always my hurdle.  Say I want to make a project out of it, but then I balk, and stall….  Has to be the traffic I hit on the way over here, on 12.  Red lights blinking, people being animals driving thousand pound or more vehicles, just annoyed me.  No Starbucks though, just espresso at home and this Sonic coffee.

Looking for candy, like my daughter ….  Sent email to one prospect, then was interrupted by a call.  Not even going into it and not letting it touch my strength this morning.

Going to run a little after 3pm, not shooting for any distance.  May just do a quick 2-miler.  Need to to more of those shorter runs, meaning 2 or 3 miles, 5k tops.

Planning tasting trip on Saturday…. Have one settled destination, and that’s it, later in day.  Chris says just improvise till that later appointment.  Think I agree.  Yeah, I do.  The Duckhorn wines last night – well, Duckhorn portfolio labels – speaking to me more than I thought they would.  Each one, its own track, beat, feel and mood, “vibe” as so many say now.

coLAB again today.  Need isolation, the contrast, walls and windows.

Categories
just writing

Lunch done, back at both laptops.

After 12pm meeting, I’m of clear head and wishes, wanting more coffee but holding off for now.

What wine am I opening tonight? What do I want, what calls to the writer and this blogging bloke who is wrapped and directly antagonized by his own Newness and eagerness.  Thoughts everywhere, and by everywhere I mean in all places, all ideological and thoughtful, imaginative geographies.

Music in the background, from the kitchen.  Like late 70s or early 80s rock I think.  Mom put it on.  So like her.  Her and Dad readying to go to Geyserville to celebrate an old friend of the family’s daughter’s 40th birthday.  Wish I were going, somewhat, but would rather see the kids.  Obviously.

May drive to office, just for the drive and free coffee.  Only bringing AE laptop.  The Mike Madigan stay here.  Will miss this view thought from dining room table, out at Mayacamas.  More views, more travel… the airplane, my seat, the early flight and how nervous I was then trapped in SEA where I wrote, first to coffee then a roster of wine and craft beer, still writing and not slowed by the sips..

Categories
Health/Wellness

How short this all is. All of.

Sipping the espresso slow, making it last.  Friend yesterday posting a pic of her son from years ago.  I commented how big he is, she responding “Time is a thief.” I agreed with her, but said the way we fight back is loving the ones we love, and what we love.

I don’t know, I’m feeling it today.  My age, life’s brevity, my kids not being with me as much as they used to.  I’m not sad or angry, not even contemplative.  Just educated, or more understanding.

NOTE:  Remind Self of love.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Hate when I don’t finish thoughts, and how I jump from the AE laptop to this one.

My aims need be more tangible and set.  All posts today, 199 words or less.  In the office, a sign that commands “199 and STOP!” Yes, with an exclamation point.

I’m putting off prospecting right now, as you can tell.  10:57am, meeting of some real significance in 3 minutes, 1 hour.  Get to see the babies later.  When home, 1 wine article, 301 words.  More word count purposed and I said I wouldn’t be, but…..

Running into a winemaker friend last night while getting razors and something else at Safeway has me in wine character, and I thought about it, my own tasting room and shop, this morning at the site visit while walking down West Robles with Ditter.  What to do with those thoughts, not sure right now but I will end up in wine—  Havre to answer an email.  Hold on….

Easy issue.  Not even an issue.  That’s why I’m stressed or tight in morning, the unknown of what’s approaching but now I refuse to care or over or even mildly concern.

FREEDOM.

My singular word.  Till whenever, always.

Categories
Productivity

Back on AE laptop. Typing on it solely, for now.

Back to prospecting, like Emma did with the houses.  Look for candy, ha ha….  Coffee at the new Starbucks after lunch with referral partner.  Perfect temp after letting it sit.

Working tonight, hopefully.  Get ahead of the week.  Wake early tomorrow, get in a workout before leads meeting.  Muscles only, in room while watching news.  Run tomorrow, in morning.  WAKE EARLIER GODDAMNIT, like them and have the workout done before light even thinks about being light.

Promises self a poem today, but haven’t gotten around to it.  Don’t think I’m managing time as best I could.  Heading to calendar, going hour by hour for tomorrow….

Calendar full for tomorrow.  And I mean FULL. 

Talked Self into prospecting.  Of course centering on law firms in Berkeley, but not excited about it.  That’s not where the candy is.  Advertising and Marketing agencies, media companies… publishing, hospitality… that’s what I need, want, need.

Wrote eight lines of a verse.  Trying to start new poetry practice, do readings, write different prose.. do this entire writing life differently.  Feel fraudulent “teaching” these JC students, but it’s just this last semester then FREE.

Have to use restroom but can’t let self up.  Go on LinkedIn, I tell myself.  Start more conversations.. put more images and words out there… anything.  Thought I was going to have to go back to house and take a nap.  DON’T YOU DARE, I said to SELF.  Melissa teaches all day, no rest no pause no stop.  I need to like light and ignite, days continuous.

Not letting a single nay-saying dart rattle my posture or prose, and definitely not my poetry.  Onward.. charging into exploration of new business to this current beat.  Emancipator still the current list and set.

Ugh…. More back and forth with a prospect.  This is good, this is education, experience this writing AE needs.  Another coffee sip.  Now what.  Look up, shop nearly empty.  Thinking again about going home, finishing day there.  Sound good, I say to myself, and I hate when people say that reflexively, to every goddamn thing be it a statement or question or just saying something random.  “Sounds good… sounds good… sounds good sounds good …. SOUNDS. GOOD….” Ugh.  So annoying.  And in sales you hear it all the time.  I catch myself saying it then immediately after in head I’m like “Shut the fuck up.  Sound good?”

Categories
just writing

People have attitudes this morning.

Mostly clients with billing questions, inquiries, complaints and other.  Was going to say bullshit, but it’s not, in any way.  When BDX is fully alive, I will definitely be asking for explanations on invoices and what be.  So I get it.  Just when it hits you at one time it’s….  I don’t know, not fun.

A passel of to-do’s this morning, like an interconnected and shape-shifting gallimaufry of calls, pushes and pulls.  Breathing, and getting to all as I can, will.

Coffee, needed.  A cup soon as I entered office.  Tempered tilts of cup.  Looking for new businesses, conversations…. One day won’t have to.  Till then…. Explorer Mikey, me.  Where should I start today.  Berkeley maybe, or Marin… or the Peninsula.  Yes, perfect.

Working more from and in calendar, not starting new word docs for lists and reminders and whatever.  See how this works.  Still learning this AE story.  9:42, how did that happen?

Wrote new contact email.  See if this produces anything.

Now I have an attitude, but I’m not letting it develop.  Finding it comedic, making fun of myself.  Why am I so fragile, like a water balloon rolling past several buzzsaws…

Categories
Health/Wellness

11:18 and in office with cup of coffee in new side room in the SOC area.

Ran into someone from Field Services and he told me my name came up in a conversation for a possible build here in Santa Rosa….  And like that, my energy and tell is redirected.  Meeting scheduled today for 12:30 with friend/referral partner, after that to coLAB and building the #prospectesk idea… selling, no.  Storytelling and building, conversation and collaboration like I tell my students, YES.

Have only worked in this side office once I believe.  Still haven’t sipped coffee.  Probably shouldn’t, I’m alive after that conversation with Bobby, that he initiated.  I wan to truly live consistently with this perception so many have and voice of me – energy endless, positivity, creativity, blogging and writing, #PROFESSORMIKEY.

Okay, calm down I tell myself.  Chill beats, settling into late morning.  Email from attorney and my mood heightens even further.  The Monday thing doesn’t have to be the Monday ‘thing’.  Who started that?  It’s bullshit.

Charging AE phone, finding another lead – law firms in Berkeley and Albany, then tech companies in SF.  I’ve found something again, then again…. THIS, is Monday.  To me.

Cash in wallet?  Okay, good….  Looking forward to catching up with friend, hear more of his story.  OH… the résumé project, obviously catalyzed from Taryn and her move.  Then another idea, not typing here but writing in Paris journal.

11:40pm.  How long does it take to get to Redwood Café in Cotati…. 17 mins.  Will leave just a jab after 12.  First sip of coffee…. More alive.  Not that I need to be, but I am.

The #prosepctesk project… not about selling or even prospecting, but connectivity I’m seeing, HUMANS.  Bobby telling me about the conversation he had with someone else and my name voiced, I was connected to that conversation without being there.  Why.. must have been something I did, or that people in the company associate with me.

Another scene new –