Latte. Still waking. All lights on in office. Trying to wake, and committing self to writing in one location. Not two different laptops, a phone, and who knows how many other journals. For the moment, set on running at lunch but thinking of having literary lunching somewhere close by. Why not. Why not… all the notes from the Field yesterday and how I didn’t really get to go through them. The caffeine now lands, shifts my momentum in one or another way. Thinking… wine or writing…. I mean running or writing. Do I have wine on perception already? Yes. Go to bottle barn, get something weird to taste. Need more weird wines. More off the grid and just shit I’ve never fucking heard of. Everyone around me talking about politics and medical history, both but more so latter making me a bit uneasy, queasy. Don’t listen. Don’t attach self to the outside. Focus on wine, the wine, wines I’ll taste later.
Done with project, now with time to self more or less but not an excess. Resigned to writing at lunch. Why, just felt right I thought while arranging uniform inventory a minute ago. Time to self with music in room and door closed. I need quite, I need still, I need time for the page and the story and where I’m going. Know what I’m speaking about, more or less, for meeting with speakers. About not knowing self fully, ever. Whether you intend or no, self-discovery is ever-perpetuated. You’re in constant ideological excavation wine teaches me and not only that you never want to know you, fully. You can have stalwart convictions and still be in this tree. Believe me.
Backing off of time stamping, for now. Want my pages to be more “evergreen” as so many say and for whatever I just hate that word. The way it sounds, I don’t know.
Some around me saying how it’s Wednesday or it’s hump day and it’s almost Friday. A second ago I responded What? No! It’s Wisdom Wednesday! The attitude and fixation on days and what day it is, where we are in the week needs to be altered and re-shaped. Well, if you want to get to wherever you want to be, as I see. I’m more than awake now, and thinking a run might happen after the speakers gathering. Why not. Why not just go out there and see what I can put up, numbers-wise.
Quick coffee break before team arrives. Most everything done, already. Starting to taker notes for next week… what questions to ask, certain sales approaches I already have, but more questions that anything. Be a student again, I tell myself. We all have to stay students and put off “mastery”. Stay in the learning lean, something I quixotically appreciated, voluminously, from the wine world. Writing about work and how everything has a birth, need be cared for, worked on, nurtured, like the vines and even the bottled entity. Whatever wine I pick tonight for tasting, I’ll translate the interpretive speak for purposes of next week, somehow.