Tag: Mike Madigan blogger

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wine

Noticing the nerves and how they more frequently surface.  Fuck them.  They’re lying to me, I know.  In side office at Sonic, counting down to 1pm call.  Will delay gym visit, and in fact probably work out at house.  Bike then weights.  Settled.

Stress or nerves or angst, tension, whatever one’s to call it, I’m just not listening.  Not giving so many fucks anymore.  There, I said it.  Dinner plan popping up on calendar for tonight, and like that another clock ticks.  Ten hours into fast, big truck drives by, me listening to uptempo electronic chill tracks and not into it. Need Mr. Coltrane… need to email students again.  DONE.

Missing the kids, all three of my little Beats.  10:06, could have sworn ferociously that it was later.  Here I am though, battling nerves still, this uneasiness which now I translate as a forwarding current, light, music.  Perform within it, from it… speak freely and write even freer.

Mr. Coltrane, oh those certain notes.  Friend texts me from her first day at a new winery in Napa… vineyards, long table set for larger group.  I miss it, I won’t lie.  And I don’t have to… it’s obvious.  The new conversations and questions, the people, sipping with them… the pictures.

Posted to #vinovinevin, more energy into that story.  Looking at the pictures again….  Wine, her definition and speak, occasions framed around her.  When I think of anything wine-related or sent any nerves are muted, put to sleep.  Catwalks and tanks, barrels and glasses, barrel making, dinner last night with Taryn and everything that went down, the industry having literally NO clue about some attributes of everything associated with wine.  Frustrating.

T and I having the Hawley Viognier, not finishing the bottle and me sending the rest home with her.  What do I do from there, from that conversation, from realizations about wine and her industry… finish the goddamn book, I know, but then what.  What now.  What tonight and tomorrow morning….

Categories
Health/Wellness

Still waiting, not my most enjoyed activity.

The additional single shot nearly dead already.

Breathe, like the director said in his email this morning.

Still hear the rain, against a window or skylight.  Maybe I should just work here this morning then go to gym and come back.  Hopefully by then the contract thing will be resolved.

No plans for tonight, and I’m elated.  Dinner here at house, wine and conversation and more brainstorming on building BDX into whatever it’s meant to be built into.

Packed and ready for departure… that word makes me think of travel, the morning at the airport, SEA, then FINALLY Sunriver.

Categories
Health/Wellness

I love Tuesdays now, not sure why.

Emailing Director back and forth a bit and waiting to hear from IT buddy.  Waiting.. I hate it.  So make something happen, I remind myself.  My SE one day said he just makes things happen all day…. Loved it, and never forgot.

Today thinking strength, more free form, movement, stories, family…. Business.  Leaving for gym at 11:30.  FASTING, till after workout.  Light lunch …. Making more of a project from health and wellness, fitness and nutrition efforts.  Still learning, but notes as I go.  One more shot, espresso.

Leaving for office in a sec, I think.  OR, Farmers Starbucks.  Get out of the house, be seen, and see others.  The characters around you and what they do.

I’m reciting to self with more fire and intention today, in everything I enact and actuate.  The About EVERYTHING story is lifted, elevated… taking everything into my own hands.  Not about control but composition….. some people, just not heard anymore.  At least when they speak in a certain octave.

Rain stopped.  But I haven’t.  Keep thinking about Sonic and how I got there, the walk in the SB lot in ’18, and how some people tried to discourage me from moving stories from wine to tech.  Huh…..

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Health/Wellness

Not Missing Today

Up early and already into AE story.  Trying to correct slight errors on big contract that came in yesterday.  Waiting to hear back from IT partner, since it’s his client.  Lost sleep over it last night….  You know what I’m sipping right now, right?  Correct, espresso in one of those little red cups.  Still raining outside, taking some time to self before the day takes off.  Didn’t work out this morning as a result of this obsession with this contract and other ideas darting around me and my head like frightened squirrels that just had too much espresso.

I’m going after different things today.  Writing a different me, ME…. We all need to do that sometime, or multiple times.  Re-organizing, simplifying, consolidating.  It was leaving my backpack at Hawley that really antagonized this flavor of meditation.

Finding my way to the office, and speeding things up radically.  Tightening investments and monies on hand.  About EVERYTHING, financially.  Getting this blogging practice in the air.  TODAY.  Not waiting anymore…

Posted to Instagram.  New name for practice, #whosobloggerrattic.  Stemming from the Blogger Attic idea…. Arranging finances and monies… budget is fishing line-thin.  Perfect.  Sip espresso, keep working.

Invitation in EVERYTHING.

Categories
wine

9:27pm with a glass of the Bella Zin.

Home from dinner with old friend and I’m thinking everything wine, everything storytelling… Monday, you taught me something, about possibility.  Now, as day closes, I see more in writing, how my circling pattern is ending.  Bringing this publishing effort BDX to a liftoff point.  Short pieces, more vocal, identifying.  Remembering characters not with me everyday like past… part of me sad, the other just flying.

Putting one small group of monies to a certain side.  Designing a label as best I know how, which is honestly not knowing how.  Here I go, I say to self… aside from the BDX internet effort, the winery starts… tonight.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Quiet. No meeting. No other humans around me….

Thinking, about EVERYTHING.  All in the story, all in this room, what I’m doing after submitting this contract.  No workout tonight, not enough time.  AND, I need to get it out of the way in the morning.  Will go pack bag for gym NOW, or put clothes out.  Yeah, no need to pack a bag…. Just put out clothes.

Done.  5am, alarm set.  New routine… I am going to get stronger and be back in the goddamn 8-mile lunch run shape.  I don’t care if it KILLS me.  Well, no I do.  I’d rather it not, I have babies.

In bed by 11, and if I fail to do that I’m only hurting myself ‘cause I’m waking when that alarm goes off.

Waiting on ICB approval on contract composition.  Already marked deal as closed at all 3 sites.  106% of quota already for month.  HAVE TO SET UP ’22.  Media, notes, approach….  Make people happier in their businesses, and contribute to their existing language and communication….  IDEAS.  I’m addicted to each one that rolls in, lands on my thought lot like a random rain on diverse terrain.  Stretching again, up…

Categories
Health/Wellness

3:09pm

In staled meeting, camera off so I can type a bit.  Took quick nap and realized I have less time than I thought in day.  Dinner in less than 4 hour.  Will lift weights later, no cardio…. Double-shot of espresso, clouds outside, rain on the way.

About EVERYTHING.  Every facet of the story, of the character, the meta and its manuscript and magic.  Hard to type here and be somewhat present in the meeting… will note you when it’s done.

Can’t wait.  The voices are too distracting, though….  Haven’t looked at any real estate today.  The thought of my house dominates all my thinking and priority pulse.  Sell more, I say to myself, but it’s more than that.  Not sure how much more, but more added dimensions.

About business going forward… learning operations in meetings like these, procedure and process, how to have things just run smoother.

Looking outside, waiting for rain.  Big contract just landed but I still feel at a loss.  WHY.  That’s funny, right?  Huge victory but I’m still doubting self or second-guessing.

About EVERYTHING… that simple.  The espresso cup, the pen, the meeting, dinner tonight with an old friend.  Have everything I need.

Categories
Health/Wellness

…or breakfast at Peet’s.

Yes, treating self today, this Sunday Funday.  Sounds trite and running out of things to say, put to page this morning.  Should leave… in order to put sentences in any form there needs to be movement, experience, education, SELF-education.

The wines at all locations yesterday…. My shop… wine story, book, this blog, and other.  Happiness Composition, very much part of it obviously.  But where do I take it.  Where do I take BDX next?  Raise head and look out big window here in living room and see the drive to Sonoma.  Looked at paper, no new real estate prospects, NONE.  I get frustrated and people tell my to be the embodiment of patience and I either think of rolling my eyes or actually do.  Guess I don’t have a choice, and it’s not something I should rush, I know…. Just want that office, the wine fridge, somehow fit in a pool table maybe.  My head goes everywhere, design and creative impulse… have another idea….

9:01am, time to get up.  Come on Mikey, GO.  What’s keeping me here… business ideas, referral and leads strategy.  What’s NOT keeping Mike Madigan in the chair, better inquiry…

Categories
autre

Thinking…. About life and how long it is, how an end

is assured always in conversation but joy and happiness is not, or at least not to such frequency.  Happiness…. The definition, the connotation, how to acquire, etc.

Friend delivering work to a location in HBG.  Feel like I wan’t there yesterday, it passed so fast.  More fortune amassed though, for MY work.  Bella, that cave.

8:02, need leave chair and desk, the keys.. the view.  Don’t want to, but……..

Deconstructing everything to singular elements, words, writing directions.

The what, I ask myself.

Let the story tell you.

Categories
just writing

Was going to write OFFBLOG, but not letting myself. Putting everything here.

Frustrated in one respect, but THAT will be addressed in no post.  Getting past it… was moving too fast, not as connected as I should be to scene, sometimes.  Again, moving ….

Such peace, this hour.  Nothing is wrong, everything is set for me to write.  Not in the mood for the cheater glasses.  I stop, just gaze at the espresso, then out the window, then re-trace yesterday steps…. From Hawley to HBG, the to see Jesse at FC, then dinner in Santa Rosa….

Found a house in search, yesterday morning right before leaving.  I’ll drive by tomorrow, need to call someone… the week already starting. Hoping the big contract lands tomorrow.  It should, then start building prospect bed for ’22.  I say it a million times…. Should have stayed up and worked a little last night.

Friend messaging me again this morning, that she woke at 3 to make a board.  How does she do that?  Why can’t I do that?  AIM:  Wake tomorrow at 4am, go to gym then come back to write— NO…..  I don’t know.  The indecision is crippling me.  Just go to the gym at 4, DO IT.  Then write when back, thousand words at least.  Okay, well, lamented, now let’s see if it happens.

Leave early this morning, leave laptop here.  Writing only in journal….  Real writer in the streets, at Peet’s in Sonoma which I very much plan on doing.  New inner conflagration this morning, with everything – new aims (stated OFFBLOG), conversations, people, relationships, me and how I estimate time… the AE story and how it bridges me to the BDX office.  Mom and Dad, again Time…. Move quicker, this isn’t forever.  Chris and I talking yesterday about narratives and audience, dating and begin single and how certain characters are draw to other certain’s but it’s not law.  There’s no facile 1-to-1.

Need another shot, in a minute.  The double is now talking to my cardio operations.  Seeing an old friend yesterday, her brother passing away years ago and her father and I not exchanging letters in some time.  Her husband, Jon.  Think that’s how you spell his name.  Just realized the little podcast Chris I recorded didn’t record.  Ugh…. Shame, ‘cause that was a great conversation on Dry Creek and what people associate with it, Zin, or Cab, Pinot or Chardonnay, whatever.  Ugh that annoys me!

Caught self daydreaming again, staring at the mountain, the empty espresso cup.  Now full, one shot.  Sip slow, I tell self, thinking about the day ahead, Caddis then my favorite aunt’s birthday dinner after that.  Was going to remark on time and its speed and indifference, but no.  It’s obvious.  The more attention I pay to it the more valid and ruling it is in any day.

Think I solved something….  I’ll find out soon.  Bored with my sentences so I paint the winery picture again, the small tasting room and me pouring for either friends, or family…. Whomever I invite, and yes it’ll be by-invite.  Then the thoughts go stale… fuck.  Chris and I talked about the industry yesterday outside the attempted podcast which didn’t record about how the industry just doesn’t pay.  What can you do with it, with a business culture and consistency that can’t put food on your table.  Interesting… wine has to be not a hobby or side-thing, but just something second to the main manuscript.