Tag: Mental Strength

Categories
Health/Wellness

notes

At Farmers after breakfast at Omelet Haven, or ‘Express’.  Need a nap, I think.  Another inbound lead, and another submission or edit of earlier submission to ICB (Individual Case Basis), a select team of upper-management at Sonic that approves certain deals and proposals, bundling etc.

Loud in here, even with music in ears.

Sudden rush of adrenaline or nerves stops me and my pushing of keys.  Leaving in a bit, don’t want to be here, and don’t want anymore caffeine.  Need a quick rest then espresso shot when I wake up.

Chewing gum, dead flavor.  Mood bent.  Depart.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Roof Return

Happiness, #selfcare, #selflove, #selftalk, amwriting, writing, Mike Madigan blogger, #professormikey, happy, wellness, health, Mental Health, DIY, philosophy, music, journals, blogs, blogger, Life Blogger, Books, reading, motivation, meditation, love, passion, people, stories, work, narrative, creative, creativity, be happy, happy, anxiety, depression, love yourself, productivity, #enjoyyourlife, freedom, free, strong, strength, Mental Strength, espresso, coffee, morning writing, mornings, zen, make yourself happy, joy, one life, #justwriting, healthy living, 12 minutes till leads group…. Coffee sipping.  Asked again last night what I write about.  My answer different this time.  “Relationships”, I said.  And it’s true.  My relationship to the morning, to the coffee, to this new leads group…. To the chapstick someone bought me.

EVERYTHING… the word appearing again.  After the meeting I’m thinking of getting breakfast, Omelet Express.  Then work from home a bit.

Hardly any wine last night, or yesterday with the exception of the two glasses I had at Steele & Hops while working or trying to given the abhorrent WiFi of that place.  Felt bad I asked Alix about it.  Sure she gets that question multiple times a day when she’s just trying to work and wait tables, get as many tips as able.  I sometimes want to try waiting, just to see how I do.  Pretty sure the first patron that complains will get more than fairly brained in the face.  Kidding.  Or not.  Still, how would I do…?

7:24, time to log on.  Once the larger contract lands today, I take my being a couple gears down.  As long as I’m selling, I tell myself.  How to migrate or translate and propagate this to Bottledaux.  

I answer that question, I meet my 3 month challenge to get into BX office, easily.  That’s what I’m after.  As you know. 

……..

Second cup and meeting over, new pricing for a prospect which will change the entire feel and frame of this month.  Just emailed prospect for a little redundancy and supplement to voicemail.

People from team moving back into the office.  Just saw a couple of the Sales Coordinators, Sales Engineers, Sales Ops Manager.  Hoping covid is finally on its bloody way out.

Taking break with this second cup, off to get breakfast soon.  Thinking about a couple conversations, this weekend, Anderson Valley with Chris, then……. New characters and walks, streets….  Distracted by another idea.  Thought I’d be much more tired, but surprisingly no.  Obvious why, with everything coming back to life in the AE story.  Focusing on one city today, and two business types, possibly three. Sending emails and seeing what happens.  Sales and its humor, all in perspective and approach, creativity and conversation and the composition of the conversation.

Then I slow down a bit, think about the kids and seeing them tonight.  How they’re just growing and growing and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, not that I want to.  Coming out of this covid cloud, realizing not only fragility of existence but the unknown of it all, and I mean all of it.  Health, you have it or don’t.  Happiness, same.  I have both now, and in a way I haven’t in years.  Engineering… life.  Everything in it the way I want.  No run today, but will tomorrow, avowed I tell myself.  Speed work on tread.  Thought about cancelling membership, AGAIN, but no.  I will use it, and addictively and obsessively… completely change my entire shape and sense of self.

Immensely convinced.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Day with a hue of happiness

and ease unusual.  Or maybe not unusual, just a new type.  New varietal.  Speaking of, wine …. The one I tasted last night at dinner, not what I thought it was going to be.  Not flawed but new, to the side of what I expected.  And maybe that’s the problem, I expected something.  Was more into the conversation I was having to be honest, but the wine was not ignored and certainly didn’t fail to address it with my friend.  Think she took to it more favorably than I did, but I don’t know for sure.

11:11, no I’m not making a wish.  May change location again.  MAY.  Haven’t decided yet.  Me and my goddamn indecision.  Waiting on prospect returns, conversations in business to move forward.

Not letting self go over 199 words in a post.  Challenging self.

Need to write in other blog project.  Will in a sec.  Also limit to 199.

Lunch, yes I’m hungry.  Want something light like yesterday’s protein pack in Windsor.  Omelet Express sounds amazing… so does Redwood Café, so does….  Cursed indecision.

Finding joy just exploring EVERYTHING.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Thinking…. Relationships and another new conversation in business, and other….

Have to get a contract in today, somehow.  One lead, of course dragging.  Then another.  Then another….  Have a call to make later which could change all of it.  Pushing it till close to noon.  Need some time here at Farmers to write, or more than that just time for ME.  Not ready for the Ae story yet… but I should be.  I should wake when she told me she does, last night.  To make products and releases for her business in addition to what she does for the winery.

Still a little tired from two nights ago, but last night’s hibernation tremendously helped. 

Changed music.  Emanicpator.  Need these sounds, the ambient and ghostly consistency of the reverb and certain notes, the piano.

$6.50 for this latte.  Should have had espresso shots at home and just nursed coffee at office.  Student texts me a question, I answer quick so I can get back to this even though I have no idea where I’m going with this paragraph or in this entry.  I’ve said for years and TOLD students that there is no such goddamn thing as Writer’s Block.  Now I’m starting to wonder, “Is that true?”

Giving self a deadline.  Like Dad says, a “drop-dead-ass deadline”, for getting into the Bottledaux office.  Keeping it a secret and not putting on this page, or screen for blog.  Something in this morning tells me to get wilder in my writing, in how I approach these conversations, relationships, business, the shift… all of it.

9:26, will leave at 10 for HQ.  There, I’m finding 25 new leads, conversations.  I’m in another goddamn holding pattern and it worries me, don’t want it to turn into another 30+ day drought.  That was considerably unsettling.  I’m overthinking it, I know.  Sales is EASY.  It is…. Just get as many conversations started and explore and cover as much ground as you can and something WILL connect, click.

Telling this to self over and over, and with the still present uneasiness with covid or whatever new strain is being repeated and re-emphasized now you do what you can in a sales position.  And, as I’ve been writing… you have to find humor in it.  Not just humor, but bold and pervasive, bright hilarity.  And I do, I am…. So many friends lately telling me to relax, don’t worry about it and I tell them it’s hard then they fire back something like “Well, what can you do?” True, but I want to connect the story, the AE pages, more intimately with writing and a blog… so #prospectesk giving yet another multiplied world of vivacity and intention.

Current track, “Land & Sea”.  Thinking Emancipator is more my mood and character, how my circulation and principle beat works.  Just wrote a quick poem, short.  How I’m feeling, poets around me and I don’t know but I do can feel them and sense their inner recital.. so I mimic and new scapes of thought visit.

…..

Clue Height

There’s a new drop and rise

in the day itself and how it

communicates to me

Exponentially, set in newer free

Terrifically seen, a new tree leaf 

…..

My eyes splashing beyond the glass to left and outside to people in drive-through ordering coffees or lattes or something else I can’t remember because it has a dozen or so parts. I’m out there, then here on this bench.  Looking around and only one other person in this large space, on laptop.  Day still young, me impatient, faster track…. I’ve found something again, not in the room or the AE story, or new conversations, but in ME – Mike Madigan and his story, how he arrived here.  Study more, notes, review, build.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Post one for day. Now… get to work, the AE story.

Too tired.  Shit how am I going to make it through the day.  Kidding, but not.  I’m here and present and remembering I do have a lead to follow up on….  Message my IT partner.  Monday so I’m sure the response will be slow, especially for him owning his own practice and buying someone else’s practice.

Phone not grabbing onto WiFi here in building so I set it down.  What am I doing with the day… what do I want.  #prospectesk project which I touched last week but nowhere near to the needed degree…

First cup done.  Sent email, looking for new businesses in the city, Marin, Berkeley, Peninsula .. anything like my Engineer advised a couple weekends ago.  Funny what you remember in life, random memories landing on your memory stems unexpectedly, this one of a guy in 2010 talking to me about casting as big a “net” as possible.  So I of course liken it to prospecting new business as an AE, and how Leah told me when I met her she went door to door handing out business cards and introducing herself, telling her story, reiterating the reality that she was THERE and had an open shop, a door for people to walk through.

Need another cup.  Q4 now certainly in motion and on plate, in my arena and book, this book, October 2021….  Too much in head but not enough, not feeling tired anymore… thinking of this new conversation and character… Bottledaux controlling me, defining me.. more than writing and the blog or any book, publication….

Back from bathroom break and second cup retrieval.  Tycho through speakers, thinking of changing location already.  Acre coffee maybe.  Can’t get the conversation from head, certain words and streets, music…. I move past it, hearing Dad say to me years ago that distractions are death to goals.  True enough…. By Month’s end, Bottledaux will be generating, as will the #prospectesk and #professormikey projects.  How… put everything out, even a single sentence could be a standalone project.  In fact….

Whatever you feel on a Monday morning is imagined, positive or antithetical..what you do and how you react, what you create is what’s meaningful and story-relevant.

Posted to #professormikey blog.  WiFi still acting strange, or just not working.  Fuck it I say to myself and look for businesses.  10:53, leaving soon for Acre, or the Farmers Starbucks.  Car passes me, and I think about driving, a Road trip somewhere.  Travel.  And if not actual travel then the conceptual movement from one place or state to another.  Where will that take me, where will THIS day take the writer… students messaging me.  That’s another set of conversations to inventory.  I always talk about consolidation but now need to enact.

Throwing self into writing and these blogs… prospecting for new ideas and businesses in my own head.  New businesses, the prospecting itself is a business and practice and habit, walk and music unto its own.

Categories
just writing

10/4/21

……..

10am, definitely a late start, but moving.  In office in the office, one of my side rooms.  Last night with new character, talking about aims and music, her business and…..  This new story again makes itself known to me.  What I need to do, how I should have been home in the chair like I always say but was with her.  No regrets, and again nothing scandalous or sinister, just words and learning in the new conversation.

Phone acting weird and not letting it slow me…. Bottledaux take a more pronounced shape this morning, to this first cup of coffee.  Quiet in office, saw my friend Andrew from SOC, our internal systems department (think that’s where he’s based).  Having trouble focusing, sip more coffee, possibly a nap later.

Phone acting odd and just aggravating me but I ignore it.  Meeting an industry friend tonight, need to get something for us to taste as I promised but have no idea what.  The day is ahead of me, I can feel it.  Hoping a contract somehow finds me.

Thinking of the kids, Emma especially and how she didn’t want to leave yesterday, hugging my day 10 possible 15+ times.  Time rushed—

Categories
autre

Calls done.  Think I did like 5 or six, two of them actually yielding something.  Now time for incubation… weekend with kids ahead so I need to throw self into this quiet and this isolation.  9:50 now, thinking I’ll launch for run at 11 sharp.

Coffee at that odd temperature between hot and freshly fallen into cup and cold.  Not minding much though, I have to say.  The coffee making me feel the antithesis of what I felt this morning, old or getting old.  I feel younger now… like, I don’t know.. just… different.  And I don’t mind all the ellipsis.  I’m free in this writing and day, this weekend approaching.

Quiet in office for the most part.  Taking self to brunch today, after run.  Have to hit 4 miles, share screenshot with new running friend…. Run more, tomorrow morning hopefully 5+, and around the house.  Sunday as well… one day at a time, how I’m approaching running.  Next year, marathons, halves, maybe even some fun 10k’s… anything.  Just MORE races… oh shit, forgot that the Marin half is at the end of this month, I think..   If it is, it’s on a weekend I have the kids.  Will have to sort that, somehow.  Hoping some will be reasonable, but a huge ask of late.

New life, new architecture of everything…. Idea hits me.  And this one I’ve had before as well, but not like this….  Had another, both written in Composition Book, the one named Glad Freedom.  Free in this chair, this little cube or box.  10:15 and the run is closer.  63 now, should be 70 when my first step is taken toward the envisioned 4 miles.

Another wraps itself around all synapses and thinking, musing and imaginations….  Finishing the semester before it’s meant to be finished.  Writing everything ahead of time or when assignments are assigned….  Six more shorter reactions left, then 4 essays.  Plotting it all out… wait, why am I thinking about this now?

Nearly wrote how 2022 is going to be this amazing year, but don’t want to hex all her months before she greets me.

Categories
Health/Wellness

Just minutes before I’m to make calls, in this little incubator of a cubicle.

Big day today as I’ve decided to make it such…. That simple, I tell myself.  Feel older today but I refuse to assign any value or run with what my body and thoughts are telling me.  3.25 miles yesterday, and aiming for 4 today around HQ.

Finished coffee from yesterday which I kept in fridge now have a hot cup from the break room.  New month, new approach….  Start of Q4.  Everything has to be on blog, but yes of course there’ll be some sentences save for the “book” that everyone keeps asking about and that I mention here and there.  Speaking of…. Forgot what I was going to say, same way Lawson says she forgets past events or why she walked into a room – think she said that.  Anyway, Friday… cold-calling day.  Have no idea who I’m calling, or why.  Nothing ever becomes of it.  I mean literally, NEVER.

Teaching Self something today, on place and the value of the immediate.  Thought this before, but not like this morning.

Now I remember what I was thinking, the whole ‘Mike Madigan blogger’ tag and idea… reiterating the reality like I always profess but rarely actuate… humor as an imperative in the equation… wait, is it an equation?  Maybe a little….

Thought of a copywriting gig I had like 6 years ago, the year Emma was born.  How the first assignment went well but the second was shit, my just not being into it only into the price I quoted them and what they agreed to pay.  I landed the gig from a cold-call I made in the gravel parking lot of a winery I was helping.  Interesting…

9:03, okay, time to get on the phone.  Find humor in it…. Cold-calling.  Hahaha…. I am laughing, like actually, smiling while typing this sentence and waiting for the coffee to lower its own burn-your-mouth-away temp.

Categories
autre

Sick of the same music.

And I don’t mean music as in what I listen to, but certain functionalities and consistencies in day.  Leaning on photog’ and visuals more… less editing of them.

Waking earlier and taking a picture of the window and how nothing can been seen outride but the night’s opaqueness and loving void and mystery.

Stretch… simplifying certain efforts.  Shorter sentences.  No need for the python prose.

Does brunch sound good?  Yes.

Time won’t catch me.  I won’t let it.  The numbers become emaciated in meaning and vanish.  I order such to strut.

EVERYTHING writes ME.

Categories
just writing

Texted someone, quick response, then distracted by work.

There’s that goddamn sweeper again—

Left office after last word.  Farmers Starbucks, tall medium roast.  Why do they have to serve it so fucking hot.  Lid off, watching its spirit float away.  Don’t want it cold of course, but don’t want it at lava level.

Will get into starting new conversations and prospecting in a minute, but I’m focus on a re-write.  Of SELF…. How Mike Madigan speaks, his relationships… how he writes, reads, sleeps, communicates, everything.  Now far too sprite-like to sleep or nap.  First sip of roast and I’m off, uncloaked, immediate and visible and hiding behind nothing and hiding NOTHING.

Coffee still hot…. The steam is endless seemingly, a fly buzzing around it aggravating me, LoFi beats calming me.  From what do I need to be calmed?  My impatience in getting my own place, the condo off the Sonoma Square or in Petaluma, next month’s quota which is going to be even higher…. Bottledaux coming to life, the shift, kids getting older….  So I guess there’s plenty to be stressed about, but I always ask myself what if I just flipped that switch to OFF?  Trying.  Right now.  Here.  DONE.

Do I feel different?  Yes.  Well, I think I do.  The coffee is stronger today, thankfully.  Making this my last cup.  Again trying to cut back on caffeine, work more from natural energy.

Coffee blogging, while the buzz lasts.  Should be prospecting, I know… or starting new conversations.  Just contacted a couple people.  “There, I worked today…” I say to myself knowing I haven’t done much today with the exception of that contract for my AE buddy.  Not sure I want to finish this cup, to be honest….

Starbucks coworkers talking in corner just slightly behind bar.

Older lady walking out with her takeout order.

If only being an AE could be that easy… me behind a counter they come in and order and BOOM a contract signed.