Nice night and morning with the most radiant of Nurses. Today I come back to my condo absolutely, thoroughly prioritized on my work. Writing and thinking differently, how I return to the vineyards and several valleys I’ve before walked.
Hear the message alerts at work and I’ll tend to them when ready, momentarily. Sticking to this new plan, practice, vision. Squandering no moments or curiosities about me.
Stories in the day to day, STOP… see it differently I tell myself. Work, what I do for life’s work, “for a living”. Having this talk with myself over and over, especially since…. Doesn’t matter. Not focusing on timelines, but where I am – sitting on this beanbag that used to be in Jack’s room but now a writing spot next to my desk.
After autonomy, freedom, teaching again somehow, more interactions with wine’s business and the stories, how identities are conveyed. On my calendar, work calendar, I write “HEAD DOWN” from 11:00-11:30. For this, centering on page, see what I can record in 30 minutes time.
What did Warren Buffett call it? The bullseye. I know what mine is, what it will feel like… Need to write the Nurse, as I said I would. Imagining her as my audience, or not audience but editor. Interesting thought, as I know she would be wholly reluctant to change anything about me. How sweet she is. But I’m using such a postulate for consideration and calculation and calibration of Self this morning.
Going further into the journaling way – Haven’t talked to my sister in some time. Can’t remember when, frankly. Miss her, envy her. Her story. The other night Nurse and I running into an old friend I saw a bit over a year ago, but before that not in nearly eight or ten years I think. Being one thing, doing nothing else. Me, the professor, writer… what I set out to be since last semester in high school when I took the Creative Writing class with Mr. Sullivan.
11:10 – Twenty minutes left to self. Giving them what they want, all I’m going to say. Seeing this as a game, for me and only a few others to enjoy. Cold in the office, space heater running but on the other side of the desk and not a sorcerer’s chance of reaching here.
Fixated on images, sensations, dimensions. And a confidence before never felt finds me, expresses intensity and Composition. Running with it, ahead of it at times. The actuality of true freedom, liberation from bland obligation riles me tremendously, redraws my demeanor to a lion’s. Stepping with assured acuteness. Knowing what I know, and building ravenously from such.
Heading back to the desk a bit early, I presume. Want to stay ahead of tech tide. And I will. Today’s lesson – Positioning. Where you’ll be, where you are, assurance that it’s the most advantageous standing, post. And mine is. Writing my way to more of a writing life – educating no one, but sharing ideas. See what works, and what flops or altogether fails.
Notes, sharing them all. LOVE and its importance, all of the Nurse’s knowledge and teaching on everything from self-talk and care to Mental Health… all of it. And, of course, gratitude.
All days, grateful gaze.
