2-7-24

On office.  Lots of rain.  Had to get Jackie his basketball Jersey.  Call scheduled with wine conversation, tentatively.

Latte done, and I’m moving quickly.  Oddly fast.  Self-talk, inventory.

Jumping from one project to the next….  Need more coffee.  Well, not right now, but soon.  Writing on writing, and journaling, positioning myself for a return to the classroom but virtually.

Shamefully, haven’t put a pen to paper yet today, and didn’t much yesterday either.  Need to make it more than a “priority”, but life.  Waiting for an email response, and I find myself getting anxious and a bit moody but I stop myself.  Right where it tries to develop.  Attitude Project efforts and architecture.

Writing the character I want to be, calm writer.  Meditative.  More musical, poetic, contemplative.  Not finding any adjunct openings… fine, I’ll create my own.  No going to wait, and I in no way say that from bitterness or spit or any color of frustration.

Taking a second look at this story.  What are next steps, what do I want, what is the end-aim?  Interesting, when you look at it that way, considering your life in its entirety…

……….

After a lunch meeting and some ticket maintenance, and some but very little actual writing, I’m wondering what I do next.  As in, what are truly the most advantageous moves of me as a writer, blogger, whatever.

Someone from Infra messages me, I respond immediately.  Sun trying to come out cold in office.  Why the fuck didn’t I pack a jacket?  Call at 16:30 then heading out, away from Sonoma County.  Looking forward to the drive, the music, time to Self.

Guys I met with at lunch, talking tech in a way I’m not par or a party to.  Knowing my “strengths are”, move forward.  That’s COMPOSITION, accepting the story and your character as it’s prewritten.  Then edit, rewrite where you can, if at all.

Another coffee.  Not fucking sure if I need it, but it’s next to me and helping.  Getting me closer to the immediate scene and stage.  In my head, going over thoughts and conversations, my missteps… Rewrite opportunity.  Thinking objectively, third person – 

Mike looks at his laptops, the journal where he makes notes on clients and their technology, what they need.  Wonders how long it’ll last.  But he’s there, now, at the desk standing and wishing for something more.

“Like what?” He asks himself.

One idea, then another.  But no settlement.