Tag: #pozvibez

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness just writing

Back from 3.29 mile run.  Think I’m something like 15 hours into fast. 

A little tired, but not falling for any nap.  Not today.  Inbound lead gets back to about possible order.  Call him tomorrow.  After lunch meeting, look for CPA’s and Law Offices on Peninsula… another idea.  Finding so much funny about Mike Madigan and his sales life and writings this morning and now afternoon.

No commission on check this Friday.  FUCK.  See?  This is precisely why TLBranding needs to be launched and spread and talked about EVERYWHERE.

1:02, wanting to go for a drive.  Ravé needs her first fill of gas soon, possibly tomorrow or maybe even today.  Researching wine brands and small labels, starting with Arista.  Worked there years ago, and loved the wines, most of the people.  The family owning the winery is amazing… the orthodontist from Texas, his family, brother Mark and Ben now owning it.  May take a drive to Bottle Barn later.  Haven’t been there in months.  Not to buy, as I literally have to save every penny now.  Just look.  Take pictures for research and note to future wine-buying self.

Allergies, from the run.  Wind present and blowing everything right at me at one point.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

Didn’t sleep all that well but I’m a fire, an encircling blaze this morning.

Budget done.  Reports sent.  Two emails sent as well and now to enter one expense.  No Starbucks.  Waiting.  For…..

Another cup of coffee, cinnamon dolce.

Starting more conversations and going beyond products and services and company like I noted a couple days ago and if I didn’t then I’m noting it here.  This writing break, lasting till 10:15, then back to it.  Quick notes and communications.  Enacting the like on BDX.

Can’t get the kids out of my thoughts, them yesterday on the Green, thinking of walking from the condo to the candy shop, or to the Mexican spot they love for lunch.  Or better, playing football as we did for about an hour – Emmie outrunning Jack, but then Jack catching her a couple times.  Emmie spiking the ball with ever perceived touchdown.

When can I run.  EOD.  And do it this time!  May do a 30/30… 30 minutes running, 30 strength.  Upper-body as my friend has committed to for March.  Wait, no.  Run before 1pm meeting with partners.

Consolidation nearly done.

10:22

Distracted by prospecting.  Sending emails.

10:26

Distracted again.  Spoke to someone this morning about new leads and the bigger plan of eventually having my own wines, either with my sister or myself, or my buddy Chris from Caddis… somehow, someway I need to make it materialize.  And sooner rather than later.  Last night tasting a bottle Katie’s friend Sally made on the side. For fun I guess.  Not bonded, Katie told me, and I don’t think more than a bbl made?  I don’t know, but I loved the wine, and the label, and the story.

Wine-walking in my head… seeing the babies on our website, bottles named after them – Emma’s Song…. Jack’s Road….  Henry’s Grin.  Could be single-varietal or blends,  No idea yet, just enjoying the ideation and playful back-and-forth with ideas.

Still haven’t made other cup.  Here tonight, dinner with Dan & Sue, talking business I’m sure and other dimensions and planes.  One more puzzle piece—  Actually two, counting the Talk Love Content sketch for a business.  Not sure if I want the identity to stand as TalkLoveBrand or TalkLoveContent.  The latter makes me think of TLC, which sits oddly and tritely as an offering.  Old wine pictures finding me… several of them.  Opening something nice tonight, like the other night with them and the Lancaster Sophia’s…. First bottle, the ’17 I think, corked.  ’18 was all love and touch, music and mind.  MINE.  A story new, truth and a meditative and collective hue and queue.

The kids, again, teaching me about business.  Story telling.  Using what you have.  Jack one minute citing boredom then the next quiet and writing not he couch.  Emmie, same.. then lining up toys, some of them Henry’s, on the floor and playing with little Henry and teaching him what each character is meant for.

There is always a prompt, always filling for the page. Always a new song and edifice.  Still being taught.  So much, so quick, so honestly… by THEM.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

notes

Seeing my daughter and how happy she is to complete her homework.

Jack and how he loves sharing his discoveries with his grandparents, especially my dad.  Happiness… family.  Huh…. Seeing more now.  There is nothing else I want, NOTHING.

One more cup.  Cinnamon dolce.

Heading to park soon—  OH, a Diet Coke.  Sometimes I scorn Charlotte for getting me re-addicted.  Others I praise her.  Several nights recently preferring a can to a glass of Cab or Syrah.  The Mike Madigan form re-forming, more fortified.

And, honestly.  Saving money.  Those days in the Field with Chris tasting in one valley or the next, like throwing money into the sewer and thinking it’s home.

Different now.  Thankful.  Sharp.  More music.  More linear but not.  On my way to the office – MY, office.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that. Health/Wellness

3/6/22

Laughing this morning, at a couple things.  One, my preoccupation with finding a house in this wild west-esque market and surprised when I’m bid by over 100k on a house that in now way is worth that kind of pay.

Coffee more than working and helping.  Make some remember BUDGET… haven’t done in a couple days.

Kids quiet, relaxed.  Me watching Emma do her little learning program.  Told her bath time is in a few minutes.  “Okay.”, she says.  Not sure she even heard me.

Receipts out of wallet, but not in the mood to do it now.  Not even wanting to check balance, especially after my numbers were again attacked.  Moving on, not focusing on numeric vampirism but happiness, and that the big kids are here enjoying their morning.  Jack smiling and being funny consistently which he needs.  He stretches and somewhat yawns and makes a hilarious sound that reminds me of a dog trying to get something out of its throat.

Day with the kids, night with family… perfection.  What I need more of.  Migrate that energy and voice to the AE story.

3/6/22

Laughing this morning, at a couple things.  One, my preoccupation with finding a house in this wild west-esque market and surprised when I’m bid by over 100k on a house that in now way is worth that kind of pay.

Coffee more than working and helping.  Make some remember BUDGET… haven’t done in a couple days.

Kids quiet, relaxed.  Me watching Emma do her little learning program.  Told her bath time is in a few minutes.  “Okay.”, she says.  Not sure she even heard me.

Receipts out of wallet, but not in the mood to do it now.  Not even wanting to check balance, especially after my numbers were again attacked.  Moving on, not focusing on numeric vampirism but happiness, and that the big kids are here enjoying their morning.  Jack smiling and being funny consistently which he needs.  He stretches and somewhat yawns and makes a hilarious sound that reminds me of a dog trying to get something out of its throat.

Day with the kids, night with family… perfection.  What I need more of.  Migrate that energy and voice to the AE story.

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autre

journal

Thinking about leaving, but not ready to get back in the car.  Then I say to myself “Oh shit, I shouldn’t’ve spent what I did on this latte and breakfast sandwich.  Ugh….  Already have enough funds drained from me with loose justification.  More on that OFFBLOG.

4 older folks next to me getting up to leave.  Not feeling much connection with this corporate coffee hut anymore.  Can’t get the condo out of my head.  Knew this wold happen.

Have an idea… hold on.

Yeah no.  Nevermind.  Renting.  Such a waste of money, it’s nearly humorous.  Actually no, it’s excruciating comedy.  $3000+ a month, to a landlord?  While they just lean into their town car seat and hear the CHING on their banking app?  Yeah no.

2:17

After a quick nap, and I mean QUICK, in the Nook with coffee.  Only letting self think about the war on Quota and prospecting.  How to make more, the design business which I’ve only been taking notes on.

List prospects, one by one.  Learn something from each and have that be a note2self.  IF, I’m to get this condo in Windsor, income must be tremendously augmented, and in ways only know to ME.

Posted something to Facebook addressing my new vertical of CPA’s, Dentists, and Lawyers.  See what happens.  Remember, in the Field on Monday.  San Rafael.  Without fail.

Feels like it’s going to rain.  Wish it would.  Not sure I’m running today, AGAIN.  Maybe the coffee will help.  Jesus Christ, 5k how hard is that.

Finding prospects in Santa Rosa, everywhere from off Airport Blvd to downtown.  Getting ahead of myself, I know.  But it’s Saturday and I keep thinking about…. Not saying it.  But if I did, I need to get ahead.  For the kids.  So that goddamn place is OURS, and we’re going NOWHERE.

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Health/Wellness

8:23 and should leave soon. 

Calls this morning, which now just deliver free comedic composition and consideration to my story.  Same with quota, and selling.  I have to find it funny otherwise I’ll go mad.  And not in a good or cool way.

Kids coming over tonight.  I am actually counting the hours.  Can’t wait to have all three here and little Henry for his first overnight – which is well overdue.  Don’t get me started…

Espresso nearing end.  No Starbucks this morning.  Only expense yesterday was drinks owed to IT partners, and that will be the last such ‘thank-you’ for a while.  Money needed for this TLB/TLC idea for businesses and their content creation.  Using me as client 1 – ‘mike madigan blogger’.  First reiteration of reality, the morning writing routine.  Obviously, right?  Every morning, at the keys.  What does this suggest.  I don’t know, that’s up to the observer.  What do I hope it infers?  That I’m a writer, and I write… every goddamn day.  That I believe everything is for the page.  Everything can be read.  EVERYTHING, can be shared and help teach someone something, about something… about themselves, maybe.

Definitely sense my character moving a different way this morning.  Thinking differently about the AE story, and telecom, tech…. Exactly how I’m unsure, but I see a timeline.  So I run, and stay running.

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Health/Wellness

3/4/22

8:03

Skyhawk House, Nook Office.

Friday, but it feels nothing like it.  No idea what day it is.  Woke worried about quota, and sales, and that told me something.  Not noting here.  Maybe I will later but not now.  Enjoying my morning, the quiet in this Nook.  See how long it lasts.

Looking at a condo today, in Windsor, close to the Green.  No hopes, no expectations, no emotions.  None.  I’m done with that.  Just the present sight and light envisage of opportunities.

What the IT guy said the other day at lunch, about the drummer guy who plays in a band, gives lessons, has online content.  With what though for me, writing?  Wine?  Running?  Running…. Huh.  I’m not the runner I was before covid, that’s a certain.  Feeling askew in that story, the running pages.  “Holy Contour”, what happened to that?  Restarting today, AGAIN.

Jack has a new phone I guess, texting me this morning “Hi dad. It’s Jack”.  Tells me he’s walking to school with his friend Addie, which I’m not terribly excited about.  Nothing to do with his friend at all, just walking to school.  Makes me realize, he’s at that age.  Maybe so, but I’m still uneasy about him walking that distance.  Which is relatively short, but still.

Running, stay on that topic.  Not. A. TOPIC.  Story, this new one.  Started today.  Run 1, one hour.  Slow speed.  On tread.  Run tomorrow, on street.  Alternate.   

This will be a 90-day project and story.  May start a new journal here on laptop for it.  YES.  I have to.  Elevated seriousness.  Thoughts and imaginative realities start to graze in front of me on this table….  Running in Marin, Sausalito like I wanted to weeks ago.

Everything running.  Forget about this other shit, wine and tech and relationships.  Time pollutants and story toxins.

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Health/Wellness

Call in 19 minutes.  Challenging self to a little budget exercise – no dining out and no Starbucks.  Putting money aside for content studio business.  Have a couple leads after yesterday’s leads meeting.  Aim is to produce an additional 5k/month, and have it sub rosa.  You might think this is foolish to post on the blog going through a divorce and having payments to make and some people think they’re entitled to a slab or stack.  I’ll take my chances.

Every shot shot at me, I’ll recover and build.  The studio— Hate that word.  Lab, or Salon…. ROOM.  I don’t know… I’m creating for business to make their narrative louder.  INCLUDING ME, and my projects.

This coffee, the cinnamon dolce, perfect.  Aligned with my attitude.  Attitude, that’s what the centricity of this sitting and day and immediacy prioritizes.

Quota over my brain and thinking, attention and attitude.  That’s what it is, not this divorce nonsense.  Not talking about it anymore.  I WILL kill quota and enjoy watching it display $0 TCV left, or !00%+ attainment.

Beyond this worry, or thought cloud that yells and pounces on my concentration, I’m blank.  5 minutes till call.  Sip coffee again.

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Health/Wellness

Letting out dogs for their morning scurry, coffee in kitchen.  Drove here, Sonoma Peet’s.

…..

Still waking up.  3-shot latte should help.  

9:39, have about an hour.  Need today to do something… already have notes for week, for prospecting.  #prospectesk given more attention.  Buying domain TONIGHT, no fail.  Making offer on ANOTHER house either today or tomorrow.  More than likely today.  More optimistic in this campaign.  Pardon my negative notes a couple days ago.  Actually, yesterday.

First sip, and I’m off.  Missing the kids horribly this morning.  Thinking about them in the new house, and working with me… selling off BDX or #prospectesk one day, starting another business, then another, leave to kids.  Pay for ALL their college and opportunities or avenues to certain potentials.

They are my navigational climate and decision barometer, I said to self driving here.

Cooking another idea… surrounding happiness, living and not existing, smiling more than you let yourself previously.  Setting it aside for now.  Just the Sunday morning I needed.  Any morning, regardless of day.

Three men off to left at that small circular table, talking about what the other did last night.  So smily and positive.  They move from idea to idea with the same frenzy and speed the dogs did this morning in the backyard.  I stop listening when I’m pulled to attention of this Emancipator track, then another blog idea, or idea for business… stick with #prospectesk, I tell myself.  Move money, draw timeline.

Little Henry, a year ago today.

This book, or another, about work.  Working toward what you want, not a how-to, but realizing the attainable nature of all ideas.  Startup, blogging, tech and internet… not being wage-addicted. Inventing a job, if you would.  I’m so submerged in this idea I lose sight of everything around me, the men the baristas my latte even the laptop keys.

Taken ‘way by a call, real estate agent.  Not letting my hopes get too high, even though I feel much better about this offer than the others.  Changing subject because the more I think about it the more I think about it and am into and start painting pictures in brain.  Moving on…

This entry has already lived beyond its intend paragraph count.  Word count as well.  10:06, leaving soon.  Nothing striking me.  The humans around me I can only guess their stories, but I know mine I realize.  This shift, everything that’s happened – my call yesterday with Nick and how he drew the parallel of war, and expecting to be shot or killed.  Exaggerative maybe, but not as much as I’m impulsed to judge.  Taking advantage of the peace here, and with this latte… sipping that gingerbread k-cup and watching Cooper and Bruce run in circles and to the back reach of the property.

My kids.. what are they doing.  Jack in his math quest, Emmie and her learning of words and spelling, little Henry with his walking and jog attempts.  Old pic of Henry, then Jack right after he was born.  Oh my…. I’m so old.  Time is passing and taunting me.  I have to MOVE, quicker.  More freely and creatively.  Everything is a business, everything can be sold, built.

So much this morning being solved.  Answered.  Clear.  

Composition.

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parenting life

#papablogga log

7:16

Kids happy, playing learning games.  Made sure they were education-oriented, and told them they won’t be playing long.  Jack telling me about this new math game he’s been playing at school.  He set up an account but needs an upgrade so his animals can evolve, whatever that means I thought. He asked me when here if he could upgrade…. after I told him I’d do it the next weekend he’s here.  He protested.  “Come on Dad, please?”

OH OKAY, I said.

He’s playing now, and is committed to improving with his math and seeing these animals change shape.  Emma teaching me about her game, learning new words and the creative aspects.

Ice cream on the way, as promised.  After that, or shortly, bed prep.  Know I’m going to miss them tomorrow, and I keep imagining Jack and I working together somehow – either in wine, tech, writing, publishing, all of it.

Coffee made for morrow’s early hours, in fridge so it can be an iced as I like.

Ice cream approaching, DoorDash.  Both kids are content, enjoying their night in the Daddy Hotel.

After jammies and brushing teeth, Jackie lecturing me on some Pokemon cards he left here, or some I bought for myself so I could trade and play with him.  Yes, I bought cards for myself.  He’ll get most of them I’m sure, swindle me into some trade ‘cause I have no idea what I’m doing.  And it’s fine.  Long as we’re in a project and something together.

Emma then calling me in to her room to help get her ready for bed.  I asked her if she was going to fire me for falling down on the job.  “Only if you do one more thing that I say.”, she said.  What’s that, I asked.  “I give you a kiss.”

Night ending perfectly, and I already miss them.  Thinking about them too much now to sleep.  Watching Tombstone for the first time in a few months.  On TV and interrupted by commercials.  Annoying, but it’s still the movie.  Love Val Kilmer’s character.  9:10, and thinking of the small business I’m to build for the kids.  Wine, but more telling stories.  All of this is for them.  They are the topic.

Their ice cream smiles, and objecting to dinner partially, Emma requesting yogurt and granola and a piece of cinnamon bread.  What can I do, especially against her.  Nothing.

2/26/22

With kids at counter.  Breakfast, coffee for me.  8:05am

No long sentences, paragraphs.  Changing writing way and immediate expressive architecture.

Running on Yulupa.  Old, OLD route.  What I used to refer to as “Big Daddy”.  About 5 miles.

No Starbucks.  Save money and cals.  Down at least 5 pounds, check this morning.

Both big kids at counter with me working, Jack on his math problems, Emmie spelling.

Lunch in Sonoma possibly later, by myself.  Tasting at two spots, no more.  Then coffee.

Writing today, tending to AE story.  Too many bloody interruptions this week.  Blocked.

Just ask he kids learn, I as well the like this morning and forever do.  With wine, writing, French (which I’ve decided today is a day of envelopment more than immersion.  Amusant.  Funny.  How I go back and forth.  Imagine what I’d have finished if I just fucking FINISHED.  Sedaris had his struggles learning French, right?  So, then I’m in the right fight.

Wine today, all Bordeaux-purposed.  I’m not after Pinot, or one of those people that likes Rhônes to say they do, that’s annoying.  I’m after Merlot specifically.  How it all started.  The softness and family story to it with Mom recommending that bottle in San Ramon.

More than wine it’s a story of happiness and something over money.  Of course one could make zillions in another business, but if if only makes you money and not content with your character and composition then…. That’s a cutting impasse.

Une matinée relaxante….  needed.