But it’s tough right now, I’ll be honest.

No idea how to approach prospecting…. Or other things.  Leaving house in a bit.  No way I’ll be able to work here today, at least for long.  In Nook now… it’s my attitude, I know.

9:16, sip espresso slow.  Had 1 1/2 cups at leads meeting.  I’m over thinking all this, I know.  I say that I think nearly every day but don’t change.  Huh…. shocker.

Writing OFFBLOG in a bit.. other self, talk with self, organize SELF.

Mind exercise… there.  Better.  A bit.

This isn’t working… go OFFBLOG—

Wrote in journal but still feel off.  Need more collection, sight into self and what’s going on.  Pressure of sales and quota, why can’t I just… let it go?

11:38

Finally landed in a state for new business hunting.  Haven’t heard back from anyone, and I’m not stressing or with that angst noose around me.  Taking self out to lunch, I decided. Where I don’t know.  Maybe downtown somewhere, that Mexican place I just can’t get enough of, on 4th.

Calming… focusing on wine and writing about it, my tasting room days and my sister making her wines, my friend and her winery then her roommate with her new winery opportunity.  Writing about  it… what if I could just, do that?  And not just about the wines or the events, wineries or even the industry, maybe not even the people.  But what’s out in the vineyard… what’s here in Sonoma County, and Napa, Mendo and Lake, down in Monterey/Carmel…

Need something, either a new wine or a picture of an old bottle tasted, or a vineyard shot.

Was never stressed about sales when in the industry, ever.  Certainly not at Lancaster, nor at Arista when I’d have fucking cases of Pinot and their Chardonnays flying out the door.  Dutcher Crossing, St. Francis, even at Kunde….

That’s where I am right now. I’m there.. I can hear the people, hear myself talk about my favorite of the Cabernets or Pinots… just where I am.  In wine’s pulse, on that planet. Not here with internet and telecom, wifi and other technologies.  Though I know I need to go all out here to get back to THERE in a way that works for me and can support my babies.

Haven’t left for lunch, think I’m staying here.  Save money, right?  Okay… what is there.  Eggs…

1:42

No tacos.  Stayed here.  That egg sandwich I made a lot last year.  More than enough.  Appointment scheduled for 1:30 with one of the AAEs’ new prospects requested a reschedule.  Thanks the universe.  Not in the mood to talk, at all.

Stress, gone.  Can’t believe it.  Well, I can because I told it to back off.  I made it disappear.  MAGIC.  Or not so much, just a conviction materialized.  I was over it.  And I think the wine thoughts and these pictures helped.  Are still helping.

Not so much magic.  Just thoughts.  But ones useful and determining.  Immune to some people’s expressions.