Pushing through it as best I can. Friday, so calls needing to be made. Manifesting money… sounds like hooey. But, worth a try. Comforted in office this morning, not frigid like yesterday. Writing out ideas and what I have to do for kids this weekend, shopping ahead of time… Oliver’s then a couple other stops. Not sure why I get nervous before they come over, stay the night. Each time, I swear.
Idea for article…. Will write the first one Sunday night. Not sold on the first idea or prompt, premise if you would. Don’t need to decide now, just caught by the idea of attitude building composition, “decidedly”. Like manifesting, but more specific. And not bullshit. Not some human smiling in a picture walking along the beach and all vocal like, “I manifested this, and you can too!” Just doesn’t seem true or real to me. And, that’s just not me, PERIOD.
8:38…. One month from today I’m 43. FUCK. Time to start manifesting. There I said it. After his coffee, walk to Noto and get a small late and that does it for caffeine this morning. Have laptop in room tonight, so when little Henry falls asleep I can either wake up and work or work right when he falls asleep.
The book… Daisy. That’s the title I didn’t want to give away. But now I’m thinking ‘Daisy Obsidian’… the two symbols speaking to me recently, and showing me aspects of self I maybe didn’t know were there, or just chose a certain attitude over.
My attitude is my biggest problem, I was told years ago. And it’s still true. HAPPINESS… choosing that. Not manifesting, but deciding. Little tin plaque from sister’s garage now pinned upstairs in the loft, the breakfast nook I call it more specifically bordering the kitchen, reading “CHOOSE HAPPINESS”. Just what I’m doing. It’s that simple.
15 minutes till calls…. Who am I calling though? Oh, and inbound from yesterday…. Focusing on me, my connection and reaction to everything. Every day is Day 1, I remember. So true, so actualized, so encouraging.
Sip of coffee… morning. Friday, kids, getting older, new house…. Designing life, redesigning. That’s the movement, the motion of this character, MY character. Like an arrowhead cutting through air till its destination. Spring, Newness, life, purpose.
Cold slowing me down a bit, but not allowing it go gain any more momentum. Freely writing and living… not liking this coffee, so spend the $4-whatever on a latte. Make yourself happy. Happy early birthday, I tell myself.
The vine leaf picture, sin through branches, me waiting at a Starbucks… old visuals I came across. Time moving and me at times complaining. What does that do. Why wait, for anything…. Time will keep doing its duty, unconcerned and more accurately unaware of our reaction.
Noting to myself what has to happen, where I want to go and what I need do. That simple. HAPPY, this morning and always. No voices allowed to cut into or dilute my happiness shares.