Didn’t sleep well, and now sipping quick the espresso.
Settle in, I tell myself. Don’t rush… get to know the day. House to myself, and ZEN.
Not letting some people and their negative notes in my head, PERIOD.
Trying to get in AE character, near impossible. Should I call out today, take a self-care separation? Maybe….
Espresso, quiet, sound of heater on. Thinking of the couple that came in yesterday, both had a couple glasses and we talked about marketing and career moves, possibilities… the pandemic and what that’s done to work. Still thinking about it, and me in this sales role and how this year has been stressful and more or less unpleasant frankly.
Here I am. What can I do differently…. Types of businesses I go after? The location of businesses, WHAT?
Still haven’t done landing page for AED. Not my morning… this fucking mood. Maybe more caffeine would help. Like a Diet Coke instead of coffee or espresso. Try that…
Open, Tycho playing… AE friend David asking about the house hunt. Don’t want to talk about it. Yes another cloud of stress circling my head and preying on my nerves. No idea what to do.
Stop thinking this way, for one.
Restarting the AE laptop. Going to email every lawyer, CPA, and private practice dentist in the Bay Area. I don’t care if they’re in our fiber footprint, AT ALL. Make contact, start a conversation—
I’m overthinking this, tremendously. So I stop myself in my own beat. STOP—
Diet Coke helping, I guess. Call with an IT guy in 13 minutes… total waste of time, I’m sure. Like many of them are. Why do I put these on the calendar, EVER.
Couple calls. The IT chap wasn’t the waste I anticipated. Re-opened site I’m designing— OH, that reminds me… that lead from the Social Media consultant friend of mine. SHIT. Will call her after I post this…. Could be my first client. Hoping. Everything off radar, for now. Necessity, invention, production, COMPOSITION.
Mood elevating, feeling better, and yes I credit the Diet Coke and my attorney for getting me addicted.
Dinner tonight.. what. Shit.. have to figure out something. Simulation for when I have the Mikey Writer Base. May just snack a little, or make a quesadilla, something simple. The elimination of Starbucks or Peet’s and dining out has been a game-changer in terms of budget and funds avaihalbe. Speaking of, budget…
Stalled. Rest of day planned… my vision, the story I see for me and this blog, business, wine, running, me and the kids, whatever house… re-drawing, revising.
Too quiet in this house. Would go for a drive, but where and to do what.
Need a singular road – and that’s this AED idea. Working tonight on it, no fail. Early dinner then back to work.
Couple new leads, all law offices I think. Soaking of, email from my attorney but not letting it move me one way or another. Some people are just, well, some people. Moving on, and back into the AE story which is especially quiet for a Monday. The story of late, seriously…
Going to the story in a sec, to get out of the house. Get dinner, maybe a salad, then back here and possibly end the day early. Staying in chair, all night.
Okay, maybe not all night, but till 11 at least.
Back from store. Have dinner for tonight, and I’m in. Nearly done for the day. Assignments for tonight – budgeting, new business, writing… EVERYTHING. I know the problem, thinking excessively and obstructing self excessively. Enough… think jazz, music, freed style and sense, sight and walk. No matter who’s talking. Ignore them, even if it’s someone you more or less like.
More music to the writing.. and more breaks. Don’t pressure self to write and be in the chair thinking you have to slap the keys for hours and no ease.
Breaking, watch news. Another Diet Coke.
Watching the news and still covid Covid COVID. It’s like a sticker that one of my kids stuck on the side of a dresser when I wasn’t looking but one I day I walk by and am like, “…the fuck?” Rain maybe, crime in the East Bay.
Finally in the sales mood, and selling myself on comedic consideration of EVERYTHING. Sales and this quota, how I’m going after law offices because they have money and can afford Enterprise technology at least in my mind but they’re all dicks except for my attorney…. The irony isn’t irony or contradiction, just a beautiful understanding and humorous consideration convenient to me and where I am on this Monday.
Back to the news.. and some white wine. One of my sister’s slutty, couger-y Chardonnays. Any here? Let me check…
Dinner done, in Nook with some Caddis Better Together. Probably my favorite blend of Chris’. Thinking of my notes, the one on National Nap Day. Yes, that’s real, and it was today, so I don’t feel so bad. Easy to sell myself on that.
Selling, sales… so much funny shit in that reality. Someone choosing to do sales for a living. Yes, like me. Finally in day’s remains hours I’m here I need be.
Music documentary, why not. Don’t want to force myself to write, and that’s what I feel the inner-inclination is raising and taunting. Where I am.. all music. Thinking about the messages, an this obvious.. I shouldn’t say this, or that— In fact, just shut your mouth Mikey.
What if I don’t? I mean, at this point, what can they do?
HENCE…. Me now. Where I am and how I’m writing. Humor in this. I don’t take any of it seriously. How can I, when some people have such obvious intentions to hurt me or mince my character… one minute crucifying me then calling me a “good dad”, and how the kids love me.
The silence is ending. Thanks to one human in my crew, and the talk the other day. Urging me to unload, risk “trouble”.
Your glasses fogging?