Oh well. What can I do? Have to do math, come up with some plan. Center on one thing and obviously that’s the AE story and books succession.
Mind out of that for a minute, replaying yesterday in Petaluma with Chris, he a native and giving me a tour of old parts and showing where certain doors used to be – Chicago Pizza for one, the doors on the side that are no longer there and the steps that supposedly went up so patrons could engage in brothel appointments.
Tasted briefly at two small rooms on Blvd. Again nothing extended like we used to. Goal was to keep day calm, contained. Which we did.
No Starbucks this morning. Espresso and coffee only. Spent a little more than I wanted to yesterday, especially with the gifts I got the kids at that used video game store/mini-arcade. Saw the Pokemon characters in the window and had to go in, check it out for Jack most especially.
Only 8:07, all showered and dressed, ready for day. Should I leave early, go write at the Peet’s on Broadway, or the new Starbucks here on 12 assuming the lobby isn’t closed? Think I will— but wait, am I abstaining from sbux this morning or not. No idea. Go with the flow, Mikey.
Peet’s. My decision. The early drive, might take vineyard shots in the one lot just on the right after Deerfield. The Pagani Ranch, I think it’s called. Soon these mornings will be in a house, or townhome. Hopefully this most recent Windsor spot. Quiet on the cul-de-sac, coffee and typing at the kitchen bar counter – Composition. SELF. Mental architecture new.
January 30th. 2022. How did that happen. Month passing faster than… no time to focus on that. We have a quota with which to war. Contract to architect in Berkeley first thing tomorrow morning, then walk in territory with AE buddy David. Run first. Bed early tonight… Kerri going for a 6-mile train run with a friend of hers this morning and I feel failed. Tomorrow, this coming week… that stops. The day might look something like this –
5:15-6:30: Run (slow pace, no mile target)
6:45-7:45: AE writing…. #prospectesk and BDX blogs
8-8:30: Shower and ready
8:45-12:45: Looking for new business, start conversations
2-3: New business search continued …
3-5: Day’s notes, LinkedIn, start next day
Just an idea of what the day could look like. Not etched in any stone or wrong or burned into some metal. Espresso done and thinking of what I want to happen in my 6 or 7 hours in the tasting room. See more of what you want BDX to say and be… #prospectesk, notes to self but more than that, About EVERYTHING and certainly more than sales.
Thought yesterday while talking to the owner and winemaker of Black Knight— distracted by the thoughts for a second and wandered but now back. She made me think of life’s work, and what I want people to associate with me. WRITING… why I was a bit unnerved when my old friend Troy on Friday night didn’t immediately associate me with writing, or wondered why I would think the answer to his question wasn’t writer instead of photog, and vice versa. I thought writer would be too obvious, but he didn’t. I don’t know, bothered me and it should’ve.
Listening to a Thievery Coffeeshop mix I found a few weeks ago. Can’t find it on Spotify so… playing through YouTube— Interrupted by Ads.. GODDAMNIT. Back to Spotify. Need more espresso… single shot. Then ready for leave. Hard to take myself ‘way from this track, Land & Sea by Emancipator and someone else. Love his tone and composition pattern through his tracks.
BDX… seeing the office, maybe in the garage of a new house, park outside. Taking on a sales and marketing arm or creative contours somehow. Ideas landing as they often do in the morning, now. Need that third shot to keep up with them. – Domain registration… hmmm… looking at another.
Found one, a domain I just thought of. Available. Not buying now. Saving this project for tasting room work. Domain reg, marketing and sales, PR and blogging, creative, publishing… About EVERYTHING. That’s what BDX is. Not just one intention or thing. Nothing wrong with singularity, me still standing by the year’s modality of ‘consolidation, simplification, singularization’. BDX is singular, but as well anything but. The contraction has value and vivacity that only now I’m seeing.
Third shot finally made and feel like I shouldn’t have. The first two shots singing to me and making me sing across this laptop’s keys. Aside from dreams of a company, small business thoughts of a counter and coffee being made, I realize where I am. That I’m alive. That happiness is near and ever-attainable. It’s not some puzzle or mood-geometric anomaly. Push certain voices aside, but still observe and study. Notice their house of misery and nihilistic notes continuous. And they call themselves positive. Fascinating, honestly. I decide upon smiles, smiling, thinking of my kids smiling and how I want them to see me.
Peace. Removing myself from the table and Nook office so I can better see and appreciate it. My health, NOW, my kids and their health. The only importance of importances. More than ‘a moment of clarity’. Education… sight, connectedness. My SE, Ditter, the other night telling me something and now all I see are possibilities, invitations. In everything. Can’t elaborate now, but know Sal that this is what I’m feeling.
Life, and so much of it to live— shit, that’s in this day NOW to live. There no reason for anything other than joy, smiling, recording this. My life’s work even more than writing is offering happiness and love, music to the world. Not music as in a track, but… not sure. Nothing is able to stop this new Mike Madigan draft. The final draft. No more revisions. NONE.
No more sips. Time to pack, meet the day, see what it says to this newly happy writer.