While in the shower I thought about me, 20 years ago.  Okay, so that’d be… 2002.  Was living I think with those two guys in that townhouse or condo on Camino Colegio, Rohnert Park.  Would be in San Ramon in my own place just a couple months later.  Was a nice apartment, but weird for me living in the East Bay.  Only did it to be closer to the insurance office where I worked, in San Leandro.  My god, 20 years….  Was a nice apartment at the top of Crow Canyon, water I could hear from room, made sleeping easy.

And life just went from there….  The to write it so dismissively like that, but it went by so fast I can only feel that way, I think.  This must be the exhaustion, not sleeping well and waking at 5-something barely going back to sleep then the goddamn alarm made that annoying chirp.  5 miles, when I should have just pushed to 7.  Thinking about it puts me in a mood and that’s a boon, benefit to this new runner I’m so desperate to somehow become.  

After espresso, promise I’ll leave.  You know what I’m really finding funny as I get older and I think I’ve told you this is my indecisiveness.  Sometimes I’m like FUCK, and others I think I need to capitalize and monetize this quality, especially in this New Mike Madigan post or during-divorce administration.  And yes, I see it as just that.  A new administration.  No, REGIME.  Yes… one free and carefree, somewhat care-less.  Or, entirely careless.  Wel that’s not true because if it were you wouldn’t be so bloody indecisive.  (Love the word bloody’, makes me sound smarter, or somewhat British without being British.)

Wait, why am I not working?  Why am I …