“Time is 7:09”, like Dave says on the KTVU news. Know exactly what I’m doing today…. Heading to HQ and building book of business and seeing it as an actual book. More on that later.
First cup of coffee from Keurig, working for the most part. No Starbucks today, Aim 1.
2, stay at the office till 5pm. Stay in AE character all day, leaving this laptop here. Actually no, will take it with me but will temper usage. Made a long list of aims during the kickoff meeting Friday. Will be more point-by-point in my approaches. Simple, singular, attainable aims.
May need a little more sleep. Just keep drinking coffee, I tell myself. Looking outside and see white, like a large ghost back at my eyes. More than fog, but a void wall. Another news anchor speak, and this guy is always wide awake and strong in voice, high energy. Longing for that this morning, how do I acquire.
Need to fit in a run somehow. How. Not promising anything to you reader, just know it’s on my mind, in range. Thinking FREEDOM, on so many levels. Financial, relationship, social, creative, written, HEALTH… life on mind this morning, again recognizing how cruelly curt it is, how fast it passes. Yesterday, like it never happened. Why is time unkind. Or maybe it’s incredibly kind, generous in its lessons and opportunities.
7:19, the traffic guy Sal says. Then to the weather. No rain on radar. Good, I say to myself. Over the rain, and the cloudiness. Yesterday beautiful in Alexander Valley, that view from the Medlock Ames porch. Wish I had the time to write when there but can only look at these pictures and remember what I remember during and after the tasting, a bit before when I took those first few shots from the parking lot.
Still feel tired. What do I do. Push through it I guess, what else can I do. Not letting certain voices in, not this morning, not today. Tuesday, my favorite day of the week next to Thursday. What else can Is et out as an aim for self today? Hmm…. Breakfast maybe. Redwood café then head back to HQ, or get something at Starbucks.
Idea for a story, short story – runner, trying to get back into shape like he was before pandemic, but battles laziness, and self-sewn excises. Sound familiar? Yes, I am fucking RUNNING today. Later. 6.3 miles, and slow. LOVE… more LOVE. SELF, LOVE. I’m seeing something now.. an idea, after seeing another blogger’s post. Then another idea, another… ONE MORE. They’re attacking me with their own love, these ideas.
So happy with the decision to not “teach” this semester. One of the best decisions I’ve probably ever made. And believe me, when I got the call while waiting for the sandwich at Oliver’s I nearly did say yes begrudgingly. NO, though. Held ground. And here I am able to entrench in these new ideas, the domain names, the new blogs, the writing, ME.
LOVE is so important, I’m reminded this morning. Loving the humans in your life but as well the work you do, what you create, your SELF. This coffee, I love it, what she’s saying – me encouraged newly and thinking poetically like no other AE at Sonic or anywhere.
7:32, make second cup then pack up, ready for ride to Apollo Way, time in HQ side office. Saw something this morning on Anne Frank and her diary, how it changed existence, humanity, writing, EVERYTHING. So much in my thinking and character this A.M. January’s end, the news reminds me. I ignore it. Story of a hit-and-run and how the police look for a suspect. Why doesn’t time get charged with that? Time commits such EVERYday. Funny to think of it that way, but not. Chilling. Okay… second cup.
Cup at my right and I’m not ready to leave, not ready for HQ. Ready for the day, just not the AE story. Not yet. Little more time with Mike Madigan, his ideas… ‘#lovenotesonly’ idea. Written in AE notebook…. Love notes to self, and to others, to businesses. Ideas containing to compile and collect. Battling negative chords and tones with these new notes. Write it ALL. This morning and always.
7:54, launch-ready. Bag packed… forgot I have a call at ten. May stay here till after call. Mid-month at 1:30. Think the guys are working next-door already. And it’s the roof they’re replacing, not landscaping or whatever else I thought they were doing.
Noting everything in this sales journey— Honk from truck outside, like an inner-alert to me on how to intensify the momentum and meet my 9/1/22 aim. Notes, the AE Notebooks, being an AE for ME. My thoughts and words, and here they go again… these morning ideas. Returning to LOVE. Love Notes ONLY…. Even in certain shifts. Don’t care that it’s the 18th.
Making the date irrelevant. I’m connected to NOW. Essays and thoughts… Architecture of my Attitude. 8:03, but so what. Plan for today is prospecting, 25 new leads. ALL MINE. Starting conversations on my own and not waiting for permission or acknowledgement.— Then another idea that literally takes away my breath and disrupts my heart’s rhythm. Oh my god, I say to myself… why didn’t I think of it before. Then another idea…. Shit, where is all this coming from?
Moving money again for these ideas, two of which, possibly three, becoming blogs and/or businesses. Opportunities for my kids one day, hopefully. That’s where this all comes from, THEM…. Watching them play, interact with each other, me….
Ready for the AE book and story, laptop. Break from table, keys, coffee…. Brush teeth, dress, then in character. My character changing, just in the past 24 hours thinking about the kids and me being here for them, providing as much opportunity as I can. Drawing board, storming brain, me… conversation inward and out, from LOVE.