Venting.  I have to … certain people and what they do.  Why do I let them touch or at all dirty my day?  Don’t react, I tell myself.  But it’s hard.  More than hard.

…..Obviously won’t put that on the blog, but I have to note it.  This one winery, and another…

–>

Had a hour-plus call with someone last night that greatly encouraged me, reminding me of my power, but here I am, back to this mood-mud.

How do I get out of this…. Smile.  Nurse told me to kick ass, stay positive, smile.  I’m trying.  Getting kids later, today Jack’s birthday.. focusing, fucking pull it together.

Okay… okay.

But my mood sinks further….  Post on LinkedIN highlighting my sister, and where am I.  What am I.  Truly I don’t fucking know.  I have to shake this.

Call with a client in 7 minutes that I am in no way interested in.

11:32 meeting over have to generate content, tell a story – Single dad overcoming ANY fucking thing thrown at him.  Like the person on the other end of the phone said last night, I am powerful.  I don’t need help… I am a writer and I will do whatever the fuck I want.  Going to lunch at noon, taking laptop with me.

Fear is not on the table, no kind of option.  Random picture in phone, 2022, January…. Henry, much younger.  Wearing a bib, oh my god.  Time reminding me again to snap the fuck out of it.  Document all of it.

Nurse calls to tell me she loves me, share some kindness unlike other people who only want to attack and point fingers.  No paying them anything, much less attention.  Can feel the success and elevation of writing to self.

Send a quote to this one client, then take a break.  More coffee, probably.

Calming self down, talking to the page and the room.  Not really, but nonetheless taking time to meditate.  Interesting time I’m in, in the story, for sure.  Blogging about Mental Health, making yourself happy and depending upon nothing and NO ONE.  

No expectations.  You want to do something, develop and draw plans, then actuate.

My return to the wine world, and in a way that is lucrative for me, and extending from there to small businesses, sales and branding, some marketing… all written, all logged and inventoried.