2-10-24

08:03.  Packed for trip, in the kitchen and grateful.  In the shower looking up at the tile and thinking, “Here I am, this is my life, I cannot believe I am here…” The feeling still holds, and immensely.   Not bringing laptop with me, want to be in the experience of being in ….. with the Nurse, shopping for something for the office downstairs, then something for her house…

I am HERE.  Beyond grateful, in love, but composing myself and not getting too pummeled by my own emotions.  Stay Stoic, unchanged by hardship or heavenly occurrence.  Writing from that, back to the classroom…. The book, pages, my walls.

My Practice is this – Live, accept the variance of Beats, be complete in your Self and the Composition of current character.  And all of it, written.

The journal is the pulpit, or stage, place of collection and introspection, inner-election.

08:07., barely touched the espresso.  Henry still asleep, so cozy in his bed.  Don’t have the heart to wake him.  And why should I.  No schedule today, really.  Let the story alone.

Sent my old and best buddy Chris some pictures of the family last night.  One of Emma, and then Henry, eating the Valentine’s cookies the Nurse got them.  Then I keep scrolling in the shared pic history and see one of him and his fiancé Alison, and think… “Oh my god, I’ve known him forever… look how happy he is, how happy I am…. My life, here, now, this is it.  Can’t believe it.”

Sometimes the gratitude gets deafening and overwhelming like this, like this morning.  And when it is, I have to stay Stoic.  Study it.  Acknowledge but don’t act or move from it—

Henry comes downstairs.  Dad mode…..