me:  after run

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Back on campus, in adjunct cell as a couple full-timers dominate the conference room with their conversation and self-assurance.. “Ugh, bleh,” I thought, and came here.  Acquired valuable info from SCOE, and away I go into my new teaching vignettes and chapters and full-blown memoir-ing.  3-shot mocha, need more energy, more caffeine—  Why is it so goddamn hot in here?

Should I just let the `1A-ers go after I collect the papers, or keep them for some discussion?  About the composition of their papers, the last grand piece of writing they submit this semester?  Not sure yet.  Come on, caffeine….!

Indented and with more formality I ignite a reflection and a reaction to my role as Educator.  There needs to be more creativity in my lessons, lectures, assignments and activities.  Reciprocally, there needs to be just as much innovation from the students; Just as much fervor, energy, direness and urgency.  But that’s wishlisting.  I need to be more creative when I meet the students where they are.  From this semester I’m walking away with a number of potentials, but foremost is reassurance.  A firm declaration that this, THIS, the educator’s role is my career.  Wine is a hobby.  And writing?  I will always write, no matter what I do.  Writing is just me.  I’m not a writer, I AM writing.  My own writing and voice, that will never change.  But in terms of a “job”, I’m teaching; sharing and exchanging ideas with other minds, thinkers, lives.

FOR TEACHING BLOG:  React to the work you submitted for your final larger piece of writing.  I’m not asking what you could have done better, or what you wish you would have done different, but to the process.  What you learned about the topic you chose, what you learned about yourself as a writer, student.  React to the act of composing this paper.  And going forward in your academic and/or professional careers, how do you think your new writing habits and visions, whatever they are, will materialize down the road?  Again, just react to the act of composition of this final paper.  What you learned, what you found, how you the author and student changed.  If you were truly passionate about your writing, the composition itself, both process and product, took on some life of its own and interacted with you.  What was in that interaction?

I’m nearly dreading the errors with mechanics and evidence support.  And not just with the 1A class, the 5 as well.  But I have to read them.  All of them.  Finding that sometimes I can teach more with evaluation of papers than I can do with my crazy charismatic Self in front of the student folk.

Need water.. to bookstore quick…

Still in classroom.  Waiting on Mr. A to drop off his paper.  Have to make a call at 5, though, possible freelancing gig.  We’ll see…  Wouldn’t it be amazing if this was the gig, the one writing assignment and opportunity that changes EVERYTHING?  Not getting hopes anywhere near an ‘up’.  Have to manage my own expectations.. okay, okay.. quiet in this room, and air-conditioned, unlike the bloody adjunct cell.  Sip my water, put down my phone— distracted by messages.. from wife, student, other people..  Compartmentalizing my realities.  They’re all a priority, but with differently shaped urgencies.  My role, educator, about be intensified and an intrinsic mentality in my business.  No wishes on lists, only realities so made.

10:21PM.  Now in house.  With night’s cap—  Coffee already made for morrow and in the cup or tumbler I found earlier.  Today.. more than just a victory for me, but a significant increase in elevation, my career educating.  Shit.. forgot to post to teaching blog.  Will do first thing in morrow.  Have alarm set for 4AM, but I’m not sure that’ll happen.  Or maybe it will.  Maybe I’ll wake at 3-something and not be able to fall back into any kind of sleep, and just stay up, write, write lectures, THE lecture, that will get me to the Road.  (Why couldn’t I have been graced with insomnia?)  And of course there has to be some turbulence, some bothersome blip, something.  But I push through it, focus on the morning, and the last sips of this nightcap.

Wish I could go outside on the patio, enjoy this night air, but I need to write, have to study a couple things.  My blogger buddy, posted he’s to be up at 3-something…  I need to be more competitive with my wakeup time, times.

(5/18/16)