journal page

7-24-23

Hectic morning, and if not hectic then loaded.  With work, other stuff, then some nonsense, my babies but they’re the positive and loving relief parcel… then other points on the list, right side labeled “Attentions”.

Mental Health… Zen.  Nurse texts me haven’t had a chance to text her back too much going on and I’m spinning.  Promising to stay in the chair till I can’t anymore.

Left side, “Everyday”.  Gratitude, with an exclamation point…. So much I’m grateful for.  One, which I don’t talk about often, how my mind works.  How Dad taught me to think critically, balance emotion and logic, have logic in front.  How to be habitual, have a system.  That of course I’m working on still, but my thoughts lock themselves in, harness themselves to this practice.

GRATEFUL… even for enemies.  Actually, with this new Stoic approach I don’t have any.  I don’t give them that title, that altitude of attention.  With the morning starting to settle I can enjoy this gratitude, what provides it… Mom and Dad last night, close family friends since I was little…. Being a dad to the 3 little people, and with that fragment I tear up.

Emma’s little face last night, asking me for another piece of pizza…. Henry saying, “Me!  Me!” Wanting another like the big sis.