This picture with Henry when we still gave him baths at the sink, looking at Jack and Jack trying to either make him laugh or just play with him teaches me everything I need to change in business. EVERYTHING.
And, in writing… the Now and how I read it.. where I go from here, in this Writing Loft which I’m now calling the TGWL. Town Green Writing Loft.
11:55 – Oh my god so many distractions here. Projects I want to start, re-organizing, consolidating, some papers and other articles I just want to toss, is Jack’s baseball game happening today ‘cause the little league site still says all fields are CLOSED, yes in all caps. Then I check again and they’re OPEN.
So, now watching time closer. Should leave here at 3, get Jack by 3:23-ish, then get his baseball stuff…. Dad mode, and I’m loving it, like the AE story mindful of the calendar and where to be when. Like a game, or story, or puzzle.
Feeling sleepy and needing more espresso – 1000 words today, and everyday. Just hit noon. Feel like it’s getting cloudy. The day becomes still… I look around the office and see if there’s anything I can move or rearrange. See? DISTRACTIONS. They’re everywhere here.
Not mention how far behind I am, AGAIN, on receipts.
Forget about all that.. this picture with Jack and Henry. The innocence yes, of course, everyone would say that, but it’s more the functionality and purposeful expression of their faces giving an observer an estimation of their moods and intentions. Apply that to business, I remind myself.
When I can’t think of what to put to page, I lean into self, where I am and what I’m doing. How I got here, then the kids. Not that they’re secondary, but here with me in all this. Their language last night and this morning, Jack and Emmie, having me in giggles and a renewed classroom.
Bottle Kerri gave me, still on the floor. Like the way it appears, alone and solo, emblematic of Mike Madigan’s Now. Nearly distracted again by something money-related. Dismiss it, it’ll always be there. Advice I’m voice to myself more and more now, in this period.
This fucking desk is a MESS. Why do I always let this happen? Just take everything off it… and having two laptops def’ doesn’t help…. Moved the receipts, to the floor. Not sure that helped or did anything, but… move that shit to the floor.
Need a break from he office and these laptop screens. Contract still not in yet. Oh well….
Jack and Henry here… obvious the message, so obvious I’m frustrated with myself that I didn’t see it earlier and am only now deconstructing it this way. Took the pic one year ago, yesterday. 4/21/22… definitely a differently time. All of us under one roof but life changes and the character becomes someone else while remaining thorough in his thesis. Especially as a writer…
Happiness, purity, rebirth. Ideas recently cartwheeling in my meditations, and thoughts in the AE story especially, and especially in this goddamn drought. So…. Henry reminds me to stay connected, stay curious, OBSERVE closely and connectedly. While Jack, just tells me to laugh, be silly, celebrate careless Composition.