Acre. Still have to do budget… not pressuring self. I do that far too much and the compromising qualities are evident and ravenously redolent.
Designing house in Paris journal – starting with “café”, three to four coffee machines on counter. “Wine”, another facet to the Save Me Wine House. Could write about this impatience, and I mean a BOOK. Several. Like Lawson or Sedaris, or maybe even Mike Madigan-stayle books. Me, with a style, imagine that. My voice…. Focus on and extending from this shift – my own place, less projects, no more adjuncting. Everything as I want it.
I swear I’m running today. No, really. Slept in a bit as I very much needed it after not sleeping that well Tuesday night. Should have gone to bed earlier, I know I know… not following my own vision is like its own harmful and unnecessary incision. Can’t think of what I to write, so I look in front of me and see a pen to the left of the receipts stack, obviously telling me use ink more. MORE NOTES… enough of this.
PUBLISHING, the next note scribbled. How and what…. EVERYTHING having to do with growth and life, self-education, experience… MUSIC being part of that. Magic of the Meta, where you are and what you’re doing. How you arrived there. I turn this on myself and it’s a long answer but I’m loving the feel of the Nook this morning and what it’s telling me.
Transformed by this, all of it. More than a shift. That implies moving from one place or reality or thing to another. Not this, that’s not what this is. My story now, what you read and this Mike Madigan is universally and definitely different, renewed, NEW in all his thoughts and types and habits. The mornings in the Nook, where I end up house or condo-wise.
What I told my friend the other night about dying with wine – selling my bottles and watching vines grow till my final day. Never phrased it that way and certainly not to a newish friend. Interesting, maybe teaching myself something, or not. Last night opening a Valley of the Moon Pinot and Chris messaging me that I drink more Pinot than anyone he knows, or something. My readers and people around me associate Mike Madigan with wine, so it’s known that vines or my own bottles will be there in the last day of the story. Hate to think that way, but I need to singularize and simplify, consolidate – arguably my biggest struggle and skirmish or even battle or war with SELF.
Second cup made, may have to order a sparkling water with agent at our little Acre meeting. Seeing the word TRUTH in journal, knowing mine or one of many the emphasis and demand of Happiness. Last night sipping the VotM, encased in just that. Manyfold. No human voices only visions of me walking out my back deck and seeing rows of Merlot.