In everything. Everywhere.
Wake earlier, like today.
Love in everything.
Miss the kids…. Going to ramp up my war to see them more.
7:01… alive. More than alive. 4 shot latte done.
8:33 now. Woke a bit after 4 and couldn’t shove self back to sleep. Stayed awake, took some notes…. Readied and went to friend’s house to help with charcuterie boards. Actually, I didn’t help, just delivered a peppermint oat milk latte and kept friend company. Me with a 4-shotter and now a double here in home, in nook.
Went grocery shopping on way back. Easily the earliest I’ve EVER gone grocery shopping, EVER. Being up and moving so quickly and efficiently as I am this morning is showing me something in the new Mike Madigan story…. Didn’t post yesterday to blog and that gives me a bit of nerves and anxiousness but I dismiss it quick and flip my quip with immediate kick.
Sip latte…. Wine tasting mission starting in less than 3 hours…. Sonoma Square, the target. What am I looking for? Nothing… keep spending low… have cash budget and do NOT break it. Still have receipts from yesterday and day before to enter. See the stack over there and it injects the uneasiness I’m experiencing more as I age, as I told friend this morning.
Also written earlier…. “Driving at this hour through fog that looks like a ghost huddle. I need to appreciate embrue the sometimes and oftentimes ignored corners and shelves, rooms and chairs, airs, cars passing, people and conversations. More than just magic of some ‘meta’… it’s…. I don’t know. Life. Mine changing, taking a climb in altitude as friend said the morning cutting strawberries and little yellow/orange tomatoes… rest on couch, fire, both dogs outside….. I need this every morning – COFFEE, composition, conversation, characters… stories. The book, just bloody finish it.”
Kids on plane, hope they’re not scared. Miss them terribly. And I WILL fight, if I have to. I’d rather not. Noticing that conflict does nothing.. more music. Committing to a song tonight, one 3 verse track. Bought self a little journal yesterday as I did both big kids, mine for sentence fragments, rimes, poetry ticks, nothing clean or orthodox… IDEAS.
Can send someone’s gift card through email, good. One less errand I have to execute next week.
Written earlier: “…no trap can trap the ultimately evasive, containing and embracing one-distance elations…” Loving what music is telling me today, this morning, from when I realized going back to sleep wasn’t an option and getting up to brush teeth… don’t forget to get detergent!”
And of course I just realized I did forget. Ugh… not going to cuss, much I want to. Can’t shake the disappointment in not posting yesterday… wrote quite a bit but posted nothing. What happened? Distracted by the gift-buying outing… distracted always it seems. Right now distracted by that stack of receipts… having to put them into quicken, move more money for new house and after the bi-weekly transfer from account. OH… have that cash in pickle jar. Said I wouldn’t do cash anymore, but…. I don’t know, changed mind. I love the accumulating bills jar then surprised by how much is there when I count, then depositing into house account. Closer, closer…. Can’t stop smiling.