38 degrees outside.  No drive to HQ, not yet.

8:59, should check into work. Send that first email and try and finally close this big contract.  Try, the word you should notice.

Heading to HQ I’ve decided.  Need to be out of this house, seriously.  Change of walls of sounds, of thoughts and ideas and production.

11:05 and at office, my usual side-office.  Starving but need to run, keep fast alive.  13hrs, 59mins.  Should leave now and run, could be on belt before noon.

Write more about running. How many times do I have to remind self.  Magic of MY Meta, in running.  Friend said she has a trick for waking when she does and getting a 90-minute workout done before morning has set anything in any place.  Before any clocking-in, before any conversations or obligations…. Hoping she tells me.

……..

1:22pm, about to go look at cars again, test-drive one maybe.  My sanity fades as does my energy so ANOTHER shot of espresso.  Why not, right?

Friend of mine also in sales telling me it’s slow for him, and that’s all the reason he needs to catch up on Netflix.  I laugh, then cringe.  Why not do something for YOU?

Gift for self… finish this goddamn book.  Build the blogs, the #prospectesk project.  RUN, which won’t happen today me giving into extreme hunger after getting close to 15th hour instead making myself one of my egg sandwiches.

Pressing RE-START on day.  Not alone in house but it’s quiet.  Taking time to think about these last 2021 days, and where I was a year ago, two, five, ten.  TEN, working at that stupid “wine marketing firm” in downtown Napa.  That book I absolutely have to write, or take those experiences and blend into the wine book… wine INDUSTRY book, I mean.

1:28…. Think.  Next move… what.  Asked people on Facebook how they prospect for new business around he holidays.  One person, a wine industry connection, said “North Star ski lift?” I have to laugh.  At what.  Me and how much I stress and pressure self on prospecting and sales and quota in mid-December.  Mom’s right… go for a drive, go test drive a car… buy those last xmas gifts, maybe even one for ME (Wow, what an idea…), and enjoy the day, month, holidays.  Fuck—whoops, sorry, said I wouldn’t swear anymore, but… this time it’s appropriate—WHAT DO I LET MYSELF BURROW IN TRIVIAL DECONSTRUCTION?

Nothing great ever achieved without Enthusiasm, Emerson taught me.  YES…. Get out of here.  Go find love, passion, the day.  A new goddamn car.