Jack in shower. Emma awake watching cartoons.

My aunt telling me that she and my uncle often drive out to Gualala and spend a couple night.  What I’m thinking I’ll do next weekend by myself.

Inclined to write about a recent discovery but won’t.  Keep a smile on face this morning with this double espresso.  Quiet, meed quiet, walks on sand, wave sounds, sights of houses or lighthouses or docks, wharfs or piers, something like that.

Mike Madigan story, exactly what I want and need and need to study.  Emmie, my perfect little daughter, only wanting one thing this morning… cartoons in the bed I sleep in.  That’s it.  Simple.  Again the little human like her brothers teaching me.  Too much joy and quietude around me to let some people and their ways and devilish underhandedness bend m patience or composition.

Looking up spots in Gualala now…..  Need newness.  Tired of writing in this same spot, having this stack of receipts I always put off entering into my little finances log…. More detail to this Road, this turbulent ocean stretch toward unfettered liberation.  Have to do so OFFBLOG, but in being About EVERYTHING it’s present here in unseen but felt presence. 

Beach pictures, sunset, a trail…..

Not stopping at 199 words as I thought I would, as would be written on the BDX office wall, “199 and STOP”, or something like that.

The espresso works quick.  Writing notes to…..  Monday certain certainties will be communication and disputed lines escalated.  We’re taught so often to fear reaction, response.. why?  Isn’t that life?  Doesn’t everything have a ricochet effect to one intensity or another?

Friend messaging me this morning but I’m not in the mood to answer her.  Feel bad, but I need to write, be more honest, more truthful in this prose and how this shift is re-writing Mike Madigan.  Not buying the camera, or the music equipment, not yet.  Need the house secured, moved in.  Then get rid of that horrendous Prius, which may come prior to the Windsor or Skyhawk, or somewhere else in Santa Rosa, home.

Jack walks into the room, his sister behind him.  Jack teaches her the difference between Pokeman cards, Emmie asks questions and Jack answers but not sure Emmie understands, same with Jack but he continues to talk.  Emma leaves the room and goes to my mother for something, looking for Pokeman the cartoon or to look at cards online, something.

Back in my net of planning and consideration, the book and blog and dinner with parents tonight discussing strategy and business and the next move.  What wine to pour, whatever else.  Love our discussions, how we deconstruct ideas and then build something from there.  Imagine that….

The morning started with the kids, me going in saying hi after shower and some notes.  Took Paris journal from backpack.  More pen to paper.  Next essay, submitted, submitted somewhere… singular word practice and just as I tell students.  And yes, TELL, not suggest.  So enact what you echo Mikey, I say to myself with obvious sarcastic patch.

Heading to Gualala.  Next weekend, more than likely.  Just me and a couple changes of outfit and the Paris journal.  No laptops allowed, no excuses. Kids having breakfast, me not wanting to stop in the key slaps, look out window and see that same style of fog.. what does it say to me – “BE FREE. STOP WITH THE TENSENESS, MORNING OR OTHER.”