……..
7:55 up with kids. Didn’t get up at my friend’s hour to run and/or go to gym. I’m furious with self. Way too long this has continued. Picking up Henry at 11 and have to go see a house before that, leaving me less that 2 hours from now realistically to do anything. Some arms in room after this espresso shot, that’s the one aim. 30 minutes, arms.
Energy deficit in character this morning, not sure if that’s from waking up at 12-something this morning or the sleep hangover from yesterdays nap…. Sleep needs more attention, just noting now. Have known for some time but I see them go to bed impressively early then wake just as impressively early to dash to gym, get a 90 minute workout logged before the sun has any chance to stamp the sky.
12.5 hours into fast. Tempted to have eggs or something but no. More than an act of discipline but a vicious re-write. Making a full health/wellness/nutrition project and effort in addition to all these other ideas and projects and businesses.
Fog out the window, pointed out to kids and they said “Ghost fog!”, as I’ve pointed out to them when I used to drive them over Fountaingrove or to their summer camp months ago.
“Do you know that some candy lasts forever?” Jack says to my mom. Then he starts talking about college and where he’s going to go. Sonoma State, he states. I laugh here at the keyboard. Sip the espresso again and look at clock. 8:08… okay, 20 minutes till I have to do something, then workout for 30 minutes. It’s something, I tell myself. Something in this new project. Hunger stays but I ignore it… text from someone, then idea to email market… all this could be addressed with sharp sharpness and value if I could just wake at their hour.
Jack and everything he said on drive to house then to his house then back here… about latte he tasted, how he didn’t like house… what else. He’s writing an autobiography and was up at 5-something this morning writing.
7:38pm. Home from dinner, Jack excited about he and I going to a comic book store tomorrow. Another of his wonderful questions from earlier while driving, “Why are schedules even important? You either do them or don’t.” A fine point, I thought. At the table now and readying for early bedtime, an idea for an essay, a move for BDX, how much money did I spend today (don’t think anything except for gas, right?)…. decaf espresso, only the second time I’ve had this.
Today’s reminded me to just focus more on Jack, Emmie, and Henry. They are a career of publications be they articles or books or essays, or just random notes I thumb into my phone. They teach me about business and how to build, how to behave, all of it. Just before bed, I agree to let them watch a little of some kids movie on Netflix. Friend messages me, sip decaf again, yawn…. Early bed again for the writer like last night. Emmie says something that makes both my parents laugh, I smile…. Happiness and its Composition, definition both denotative and conno’…. Sense of all this, effortless. Just follow them, I say to myself over and over before scribbling in Paris journal.