Get Emma at 11:30, meeting at 1, then Jack at Baseball at 5 I believe…. How will I get Henry at 4:30? It’s all going to sort itself, I tell myself. Believing in my own words is the challenge.
Up earlier than normal, couldn’t sleep later no matter what I did, what I tried. Walked to Noto, treating self to a quad shot, no LoFi and trying to calm myself. The single dad story is catching up to me, no matter how prepared I try to be or what I do to get ahead of it.
Trying to distract myself… with work. But there’s another source of stress for this writer. Wrote out every province of attention and stress yesterday in the Paris journal. Somewhat helpful, making it visible and see the areas that need to be addressed, psychologically shrinking them to squares on a page, written and drawn by me. I don’t know, there’s an aspect of control there or something which makes it less anxiety-enacted.
8:05 can’t believe I’m down here this early. Thinking about relationships and how they change, and they do. One in particular. Specifics don’t matter….