Tag: HappinessDIY

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

Past 1000 words.  Of course some I could post and the rest not so much.  My frustrations with work and quota, sales, my age, then other remarks loving about the kids of course I could put on BDX.  More and more though, I’m thinking about ME… what I let myself think. The writing and what comes through.  Last night and how I did it, kept self here int he office till late, later than late.  Emotions, controlling them.  How much can I control being the type of person I am.  Writer.  Taking a second, maybe two.  Assess, calm, compose.  CHANGE.

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HAPPINESS. Imagine that.

Didn’t write the rest of yesterday, and that’s not okay.  I feel lazy and unaccomplished. 

Sending some materials somewhere within company, but how excited am I about that, no idea.

Trying to do everything different this morning from my first email to any calls I might make, to prospecting new business, to the receipts I still haven’t entered.  Obviously no run today, and the gym more than likely will be jam-packed like a tuna can.

Already warm in here.  109 forecast for the day.  Lovely.  Thankfully no fires.  Last thing I need now is to deal with something like that.  Know it sounds selfish, but…. Just what I’m thinking.

Gym toward EOD.  And if treadmills are taken, do something else.  Want my workouts to be more rounded and diversified.  Not so cardio-honed while at the same time all about being a runner.  I’ll figure it out.

Need some space from the desk, but how.  No complaining… thought.  Appreciations of the room and my life, health.  Take full advantage of the opportunity of NOW.

Miss the kids, and am still in a mood after being confronted unjustly by their mother yesterday morning.  Need ignore it, and her.

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Health/Wellness

Hoping the contracts land today.

Just one of them.  12 & Mission SBUX closed, or is moving more accurately so I came here to Windsor.  Had to sit across the floor in one of those chairs which I hate but soon a couple kids moved from my usual corner bench/window seat.  So now, happy, into the morning and connected to day.  Need my own place and space, I realize.  Today a huge step will be made toward IT – the office, the travel, this new story.

As the shift comes to an end, soonish, I’m seeing the possibility.  Running today, and no one will say anything.  There will be no reaction, no rebuttal, no comment, no note made.  Today, an offensive.  Here till about ten I’m thinking, hoping my place doesn’t get pilfered when I get up to use restroom and of course take laptop and bag with me.

More and more calls back to wine, the stories.. blend with tech somehow, blog then past…  Need to get a couple wines to share at dinner tonight, maybe.  Spinning this morning, not sure what to do next.  Waiting for these contracts is idiotic.  Happiness composition outside such an act… Hmmm…  Listen.

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autre

Drive to Sonoma.

Little under two hours I leave.  May take off a little earlier for coffee on Square, and slower drive.

Busy week.  On several fronts.  Organized in attack.  Like a real war, and it is in some respects, but how I approach… notes only, no time for full sentences in journal.

Emma up, Jack walking down stairs.  He arrives.  7:56.  Emma tells me she has breakfast plans this morning.  Caught off balance by her remark, but move on.

Nearing halfway through July.  Guess I’m teaching in Fall.  Fine, I say to myself, thinking about the books I’ll order.  Sedaris, Lawson, then Crosely.  Then the students themselves and their stories.

I look at Jack and Emma on the couch next to me and feel ravenous, intended, more ire in my writing.  No more waiting, for anything.  The image of…. Reminding self while reading my own story.

Kids watching show, not bothered by my typing.  Quiet morning, aside from the show they’re watching which it disturbingly corny in writing and acting.  They like it though, so….

42.  I know, stop obsessing over my age.  Hard to when you feel it so  much.  

No run this morning.  No time.

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Health/Wellness

Trying

To talk self out of certain stalls and mood and webs of angst.  It’s not easy, really ever.  But I keep moving.

That’s all you should expect from yourself – movement.  Forward.

Try.