21:08 – At a point where it’s hard to write.  Almost, “Can I?” Fucking hate this, so I just decide to laugh at it… and some of my wine world and industry efforts.  When I think of my days in the tasting room, and how one person specifically suggested I stay there and not go into tech…. Ugh, fucking idiot.  Not the person, but ME.  For even balking, listening to their “counsel”.

Writing through this anxiety over career and people, and revelations, and more people.. The comedy of it.  Words and speeches, people trying to —

Distracted by the big kids, Jack and Emma with new lessons, playing this new game where they build and buy and sell properties from what I understand.  And they’re so serious about it.  Then I think, can’t I do that here?  In MY life?  Just play till it’s actuality?  Why not?  Who says I can’t?  Where is it written that I can’t?  And if one points it’s out, I edit it, erase and rewrite.

Air from this part of Oregon coming in through screens behind me.  Already thinking about coffee in morning… made here.  No latte after the sticker shock from lunch on Bachelor.