Xmas Eve’s Eve. Another home-brewed cup.

That’s five days of no corporate dragon Starbucks.  If I had the 4-shot each of those days, that’s …. What….  Over $30, easily.

Director sends out an email to us this morning urging a ‘push to the end’.  He’s right.  I know my quota is what it is, but what if I could get ONE or two more contracts.  More contacts before this year of more events and designing takes place.  Haven’t done anything with the web design project since my last mention.  Doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it, but then I think…..

New direction.  7:21, was up before 6 unable to sleep and having an odd dream, and in a mood about the house.  Not getting into it, but that’s what’s on the writing’s cells and synapses this morning.

Watching Secret Window again last night.  Memories.  Pushing those to the side as well.  Chill Beats, playlist on Spotify relaxing me.  No mood, just me in the chair.

Mike Madigan – the new one.  Character and story, “plot” if you want to call it that.  What does he want.  Things to be simple, no blemish.  Too much on this desk around me.  

Cold in Nook, can’t hear rain.  Maybe stopped.  Porcelain, by Moby.  Haven’t listened to the fun track in probably ten years.  Ten years ago, younger, and…. Never mind.

Email, ignoring it.  Focusing on ME.  This room, these keys, sound of the heater behind me, other thoughts.  When at SSU finishing papers right before Winter Break.  All of it.

Have to get out of this house today, at some point.  Do something get out there. Oh, I do have one more gift to get, forgot about that.  I swear, older I get I dislike xmas.  All the money I spend on others and not my business.  Next year, firmest of budgets.

Can’t write.  Too consumed with several sentiments.  Shouldn’t respond, not with this in my character.  More and more I’m tempted to write about and post ALL of it.  DON’T, I say to myself.  Focus on you, your Mental Health and character Composition.  Don’t let some people agitate and aggravate and incite you.

Pushing till the end, Mark’s right.  Entirely and definitively right.

Love this new play list.  Did something, and applauding this new MM, his drive and sight, conviction and eagerness to stand ground.  More time to self, Mike tells himself.  More understanding of character and what I really want to do in this new year.  Is it music, is it web design, is it photog, tech, internet, startup, EVERYTHING?  Don’t know yet, don’t know when I will.

8:03am and remembering I’m getting that POS back today, fucking $500 later, more than that actually.  I paid extra to have a “shield” put over the CC.  That shit better work.  In any event I’m probably going to park it in the garage while I’m still here in Skyhawk and who knows how long that’ll be.

Simplifying, yes with the Mike Madigan focus but also with simple entities, music and writing, reading.  Coffee, time for another cup.  Thought about cracking and getting a latte, but no I’m not letting Mike do that even as a xmas gift.