Not allowing any negative octave or provocative voice or behavior to the room, today or ever. Keep quiet and off any radars, except for this blog. Ten posts, the goal today. All strength oriented (“strength”, added to list…)…
Making a couple tough decisions today. Needing to be made, for my story and composition, character.
Consolidation, don’t invite anything or anyone else to the page…. Some characters should see this coming, if they truly knew me or had a sense of my character. That’s just actuality, no embellishment. No matter how much they posture and provoke and theatrically communicate and display, this story WILL not momentarily morph. Ever.
I talk about strength like it’s an item, but it’s nothing of the sort. It’s climate, its presence.
Should hop into the AE story soon, but….. not yet in the mood.
SELF reports. For ME, not any company…. Taking the form of notes to start, the perhaps something with a little more defined shape later.
Not digging this Starbucks, all the noises, people that will occasionally sit behind or to the side of me… what do I do. NOT working at house today, no fucking way, and not in the mood to be in the office. Possibly coLAB later in morning. Toughing this out for now.
Listening to Tycho, imagining my office, on December 5th which probably won’t happen but still imagining. Setting a scene, staging it but nothing like that dingy townhome I visited yesterday.
Mapping week….. Friday dinner with a friend then working backwards. Lunch with referral partner on Thursday, meeting with **** on Wednesday. Cancelling something on Tuesday and may be doing the same for tonight, not sure. The idea of taking a sick day, for ME and so I can write somewhere, blog from a café in Napa or SF or Bodega Bay somewhere sounds thrilling, needed. Yes… going to happen, but probably week after next. Want to get a sense of the month, business-wise.
Love this track, “Past Is Prologue”. Dream-like, relaxing but antagonizing. Needed, at 8:58am. People in here, getting their coffees. I’m still fascinated by the baristas and how fast they move, like my kids last night whilst trick-or-treating, Emma especially. I couldn’t keep my eyes off my little poetess – her eyes inspecting every house and its lighting, determining the viability of a visit, if there’s candy there. WAIT…. That’s prospect. I’ve found something in this symbol and allegory…. Does the prospect seem sweet. Just look around, make a judgement.
9am, guess I have to start day. Feel self wanting to message someone but won’t allow. Focus on present, this seat and barista noises, 4-shot latte… this new month and the contract I’m about to send out. Remember how I’d tell certain people about my day and they’d offer back the “Yeah?… Uh huh….” Then just tell me all about their day at a such a voluminous rate and texture and quantity I couldn’t even do the ‘Yeah?….Uh huh….” thing.
SCENE.