8:35am, Skyhawk.

Up earlier than I thought I’d be, given the long day yesterday and the early wake, all the driving and wine experienced.  No Starbucks this morning, just espresso.  Have to set aside money of business and the condo (which I regard as a business expense or office, part of the business in whatever regard), invest like Kyle and Dad….  Going to look at account in a minute.  Spent more yesterday than I should have but not too bad.  Four bottles at Goldeneye, two at Lichen, then one at Smith-Story where I met Allison the owner, then one at 4th Street when back in Santa Rosa wanting to show Chris that place.  I’m here int he kitchen, in quiet no music yet, and about to get into finances… sort through monies and savings aims with this sizable commission check.  Why am I hesitant?

Guess I didn’t spend as much as I thought, leaving more in account than I estimated.  Never been strong with math or numbers but finding now with business and an upcoming real estate investment I have to.

I stop and don’t know why.  AM stopped, by something, some thought.  Chris and I laughing at this counter last night over dinner I set out for us from Oliver’s, talking about life and relationships, his ex-girlfriend, me and the my shift…..  Again seeing that those numbers on the clock don’t stop.  I need more freedom and freed sense of writing and operation as a human.  What that means and the shape it’ll take.

8:56, I’ll leave at 9:45, or maybe a little before.  MY thinking and brain-scape taking advantage of my sitting here, moving me one way or another.  Sunriver, the condo, the AE story, kids being here next weekend (have to prep for that)….  The espresso, taking place of a latte which would have been over $6.  $6 I could have spend on paper plates or something for condo.

LoFi beats, relaxing my head and nerves, seeing again that view yesterday from the Goldeneye patio.  Chris and I walking around property first carrying a little splash of their sparkling Rosé.  My wines, my story with wine centering me… wines I’ll make and the possible shop.—  I get up quick to take a picture of the Sangiovese bottle we opened last night, from Colagrossi.  MY connection to wine and the wine people and owners and winemakers I meet at this age more varied, more musical, playful.  Better for the paragraphs.

Was nearly distracted by something, a project, but pulled self back here.  Why wine… why do people associate me with it other than the industry presence and I’m seen sipping wine before anything else, over other options at a bar or restaurant.  Chris and the bartender yesterday at Starks talking about Whiskey or Bourbon (I don’t know the difference), and I could have not cared less.  I kept looking at the Paraduxx blend in the glass in front of me. I kept staring at the color, smelling, she was talking to me… language from puddle telling me to stay in the wine story and if I leave always reconnect to the singularity of HER.