Run tomorrow, before winery, only 3 miles. Coffee then writing. Hoping I wake at five, and hoping Jackie sleeps through night. The last couple have been trying, especially for Ms. Alice. Posted 1A notes to teaching blog now I write freely, finally.. finally! Thinking of consolidation methods, how to make this writing and adjunct life simpler on the writing/blogging adjunct.. but how, that’s the question, not so much ‘problem’ but question.. and it’s remaining a question. When on the Road, I’ll have several questions for the audience, one’s I’ll want them to ‘walk away with’ as I say to these current students, and those from past semesters.
I know I’m obsessing, and rambling, and fantasizing, dreaming, but that’s me; this writing mode for me is a wish list that I WILL have satisfied before I leave ‘this’. I will find IT, believe me!
In my notes from this morning, I scribbled, in Room 1614: “Forgot computer @ home … well, no time to pack it. Left everything upstairs last night, so late, no usual writing in office this morrow. Pain & exhaustion from yesterday’s run… “Please get me through today,” I say to myself. Appreciating Mark’s remark last night, at the meeting, lauding “It’s not like you write for a living.” Of course, meant humor, sarcasm, but as well respect, seriously admiration, a serious acknowledgement and understanding of who, WHAT, I am. “Finally,” I thought. “HE gets it, me.. not sure why They, those devilish rodent trolls at the last winery didn’t.”
Wish I could write more like Sedaris. But maybe that’s because we’re reading him now. I don’t know. Even in his voice, the recording I shared with the class; he’s calm, precise, meticulous and honest, surgical; a wild sincerity to his narrative sentences. A theme of innocence… the question of what do I do.. what DID I do?