roadside — deal my course

No run.  Just Rosé, here at home.  Haven’t read the first 8 pages.  Will before I go to bed, or try.  Tomorrow, day off, for most part.  Optional session, for both sections.  We’ll see how many show for 1-on-1.  Have to retrieve check from campus, early in A.M.  Been saving quite a bit of money, in late.  What do I do with it all?  Thinking about gambling it all into MY business.. the blog, media, journalism, blended with creative writing, wine.  But how?  Need to write a business plan, I think.  AND, need another wine break.  Just walked outside, to put more quarters in laundry–which only reminds me that we need a house of our own–loving the weather.  Like Summer.  Sunriver.  Vacation.  So thankful for no summer session awardings.

Want to watch a writing movie tonight.  Tomorrow, early in office.  Can’t write at Mom and Dad’s, as they’re back from Sunriver.. and the coffee house, 12 & Mission–  Well, I COULD give that another shot.  The last time I was there, when that peculiarly moldy man sat right next to me, when there were dozens of other options, shook an isolationist scribbler like me, boldly.  Either way, leaving house by 2[pm].

The Rosé, on hold, for moments brief.  Want my head clearer than clear.  Want to look into past entries.. a major theme in this first collection.  What was I doing 5 months ago?  8, 10, 12.. 24?  Time, my only real adversary.. only way to effectively battle it: record everything.  Looking over at light red bottle, condensation on all sides, stemless bowl at its right, calling me for another visit.

Just took sip.  The $10 tip from today, my only “table,” those 3 guys from San Diego, going straight to startup fund.  This summer, when I launch.  I like the pressure I’m putting on Self.  Thinking of the story Dad told me last night about the rattlesnake he saw on his walk.  The metaphor, entirely obvious.  Life about to strike.. hope I’m bitten.

11:10pm.  Night’s cap, poured.  No way I’ll it finish.  More looking forward to this final week of regular instruction, my morning’s home brew.  Obviously, I won’t make the deadline of 5/23, having my book’s 1st draft done.  BUT, by Fall’s ignition, I’ll be in a place, space different.  You’ll see how I mean, reader.  Time for pen2paper, REAL poetry.  “Change the shape of your future,” the UC Berkeley ad boasts for its extension, or online classes.  Why do we as Humans need 2B legitimized by some institution?  YES, I’m invigorated when someone I work with tells me they’re interested in going back to school, pursuing a grad degree.  But I already have one.  Why can’t I just go forward?  I can.  Don’t get me wrong at all– I love education, I love what it represents.. but I don’t agree with the dependency, the diminishment of the individual.  We can study on own, in Autonomous walks.  This, believe me, will be only 1 idea I’ll stress in Fall.