Whenever she talks, I listen. Whenever she talks, it’s the cutest and sweetest set of sentences I’ve ever heard. That’s my daughter, I say to myself. I love her so much it’s crippling. I want everything for her. For her brothers too, but I want her to see me as strong, present, always approachable and accessible. And I am. Just want to know she sees me that way. I do everything I can to ensure such.
No latte this morning, but an iced coffee with cinnamon. The chemists at Starbucks put too much goddamn cinnamon in atop the ice cubes and coffee. Learning experience I guess. Next time, just coffee. Need to buy espresso pods today, along with some other necessities in this skip of this shift.
Jackie upstairs playing his electric piano/keyboard when he should be folding laundry. I don’t mind, at all. Can’t say the same for some people. With this new intensity and punctuation of music… me failing to write my verse last night so just now quickly typing a couplet, two lines.
Everyone leaving soon, not sure to where, so I need to get to work. Movement… music. Shouldn’t take long, what I need done. Hoping to run at day’s end, around 5 possibly. Maybe. And may have a business meeting in early evening. The aim is have cushions or buffers with time, today.
Things in position, moving quick now. Have to step away from keys. Will write later, possibly from HBG, or Cotati (Redwood Café).
4:22, at the other house. Sitting int he same spot I do when I work and prospect new business. Went to HBG after getting oil change for that piece of shit bucket of a fuck-wit Prius, car wash, then up to HBG for lunch. Took my time with the Gyro Salad and Pliny, watched people walk by, the young couple’s little girl walk around with her stuffed Panda and say hi to any dog she saw, some humans me being one of the lucky ones. Sweet little thing, of course made me think of Emmie when she was that size and age, 18 months I think I hear the mom say.
Been here for about an hour I think. Having a glass of the Lancaster SB, and thinking about work, business, using the time I have here to self— what SELF means in this Shift. And yes that needs to be capitalized as it is capital and worth something. The experience of this, this new life as a consequence and reverberation from the shift.
TV muted, A’s versus Giants, John Coltrane providing the score of course. “In A Sentimental Mood”, of course. Happiness, the exploration and excavation, the music.. to everything. Walked around a block in Healdsburg and saw all these young people, carless and smiling more than most humans do. I walked past them but my eyes were razzed in study. Now I’m here, at this age, but feeling that age. Odd helix and ideological and perceptive geography. A new Xanadu, if you would. Honestly.