8/19– 7:04am. Disappointed. No run this morning. Will sub for other exercises tonight, possibly. “Planks,” or whatever they’re called. Coffee at ready. No wine tonight, again. Another decaf, blended with choc milk.
Note sure what else to note for first day, tomorrow. Don’t want to have the whole session, both, scripted. They’re just meant to be notes, springing points.
Just posted to pedagogy blog. In full mode to teach. Bringing newJournal to work. Think tomorrow being first day of class will more fluidly wake me for 5:30a run. Let’s hope. Need another cup. Definitely. Hopefully I’ll be able to taste my wine today. Or maybe I should just leave it alone for a while.
8:28am. Jack in chair, at desk. I write from floor, from his right side. This little Artist, supporting me this morning, nullifying my nihilism. He speaks to me in his tongue, with the occasional ‘yeah’.
10:04pm. Class tomorrow. More than ready to re-enter pedagogical ring. Alice, with gig tomorrow, I’ll drop the little Artist off at 8:30a, at Ms. Lisa’s. I’ll be back home by 9:15a, departing from base by 10:30a, for Petaluma campus. As I see, I start writing a new book tomorrow, one that’ll change current stage. Sipping ’11 Zin from Estate line. Capote, Faulkner, on-deck.
Hoping I wake earlier than usual, to put more on lecture docket, notes, offerings to encourage students. Just going to take tomorrow as it presents itself2ME. All I’m looking for, from 2morrow: engagement. Know I always use that word, but for what I want from this term, it’s crucial on 1st day.
On news, fear-mongering with “possible” thunderstorms, using the term, over and over, “instability.” “Possibility” won’t “diminish” till Wednesday.. keeping the “threat” of thunder till later this week. So funny, really. Thinking I’ll go for a run after I drop off the little Artist at Ms. Lisa’s. Can only afford 45 minutes, I think. Not going to try to fool Self into thinking the 5:30a run’ll happen. It won’t. Not tomorrow, anyway.
Done with ’11 Zin glass. Just relaxing now. Want to dive into some curiosity.. something completely unrelated to wine. What am I curious about, I have to ask… So much. Turkey, as a guest suggested I visit the other day. Would love to, in addition to so many other countries. Just want to be on Road. And I’m certain that this semester will be the one that puts me where I want to be. I know, while lecturing I’ll make mention of points I didn’t prepare.. that’s fine. I’ll note what I remember, after-fact. But I’ll write as much as I can b4. To write my Road, what I know benefits student approach to Lit, writing, thought. What benefits ME, as an Artist. At some point, I have to accept that it’s okay 2B Selfish, to a point. Almost to 500 words.. so I’ll end by saying ‘NO FEAR’. EVER. I’m just going to act. In fact, plan less. That’s Artistic– no, that’s truly POETIC.
11:56pm. Should be asleep, but watching a doc on Poe, how he was destitute, without money, but made himSelf a Self. So why am I so concerned about this stash into which I’m dipping for Jack’s childcare? His letters, poems… To be at the ‘mercy’ of publishers: DEATH, to/in itself. I, as a new writer, refuse to be scratching for coin. MY writing’ll be unfettered in compounding coals. Chronically, if necessary.
8/20/13– Great first day of semester. Just posted to pedagogy blog. This semester, a book. The two classes, the 2prongs. Already into Capote, Faulkner. Just have to stay organized, do something everyday. Putting that other book project on hold. I know, I know… But I have to. My topic, my voice: Literature, writing, teaching. Wine, shoved far into background, only being pulled forward to drink.
How will I focus tomorrow, after such a day, one fueling me as I don’t think any other 1st day has. Going to try again to wake early for a run. See how it goes. Would be lovely to get that out of the way. The timing on my teaching days is perfect, with the time between dropping off Jackie at Ms. Lisa’s and English 5, then between 5 and the 1A. Plenty of time to write, plan, contribute to this book.
Sipping night’s cap, I can only think of the semester. Expand upon material, the selected authors. And, what the students say. This’ll be a test for me, certainly, staying with this 1topic. But I can do it. I have to, at this point in my Life.
The Capote interview I assigned, English 5: perfect way to begin, I think. Capote’s speaking to us about everything from upbringing, to Craft, to success, to habits. But I need to find other sources for furthering discussion– or, write some unexpectedly charging, commanding, lectures.
For example, “meaning” of a text. What is this ‘meaning’ supposed to do, and after it’s experienced, or observed, digested.. then what? If I’m to have classrooms devoutly devoid of tech, I can only bring applaudable material to each session. I also think I need to have students dive into more descriptive writing exercises, as means of sharpening their journalistic blades.
TV on, but on MUTE. Off to study Stanford syllabi. Have to make Self wake for tomorrow’s run. This beer, my 2nd, and LAST. Hoping to hit Lawndale on Saturday after work. Hope the weather won’t be 2harsh on the writer. Feels somewhat hot, stuffy downstairs, here from this couch.
Time to be lazy. Just think. Best part of being a writer, sometimes.. when you’re writing but not; Doing more living, writing ALL in head.
8/21. Harvest, off ground. Couldn’t go in at 6 as I wished, having to drop Kerouac off at Ms. Lisa’s. Again, aiming at 5am run tomorrow morning. I’m committed to making mySelf pass through that front door, device around wrist to track progress. Looking 2do timed run, more than one distanced. Could be quite dark when I launch, so I don’t want to sprint too speedily.
Fellow blogger friend stopped by tasting Room today, bringing an ’09 Syrah. Would open tonight, but I’m not failing in what I want from tomorrow’s earliest hours. So when will I open it? Syrah IS, after all, my character Kelly’s favorite varietal. Tomorrow night? Guess I could, since I won’t be running again till Friday night– no I won’t, it’s Sat and Sun I have the Lawndale jaunts planned. Looking 2do 4 impressive runs consecutively. Tomorrow morning, Friday morning, then Saturday and Sunday eves. Have to be more stringent with planning.
Won’t be touching tomorrow’s lectures too much, tonight, as I want to pressure Self into rushed energetic composition tomorrow. And I think I need it be handwritten, then copied, to show students how much I detest devices. Almost lost a poem on phone today. Or maybe I did. Don’t know. Precisely why EVERYTHING should be written in ink, on PAPER, first.
Just checked, nothing deleted today, that I can see. But the fact that I even bloody had that concern bothers me immensely. Last straw talk, I know, again. Need to make a copy or two of some other Capote writings to give students a sense of his style, sentence rhythm. For 1A.. Going to dig up what I can on Mr. Faulkner, also handwriting my lecture. Have to write slow, not my usual sloppy syllabled stripings.
Have over 2 hours to prep for 1A. Eng 5, about the same, now that the syllabus has been copied. The first day’s always hectic. Looking at the few stills I shot today. Love new fruit, especially Sauvignon Blanc for some reason. Ugh.. so tempted to have that Syrah tonight. It’s there, in the entryway, taunting me. Won’t let her win. Not tonight.
My character, my sweet Kelly.. need to put her on page more. The timing simply hasn’t been write– I mean right. But after today, I’m newly shoved.. deliciously driven.
10:09pm– Running shorts, socks, downstairs, on ottoman. All I have to do, roll out of bed, come down here, depart. OH, have to charge device. And I found out about an hour ago I have Friday night free for running, but I’m staying with another early sprint set, followed by the two evening Lawndale runs, the next two nights.
Finishing a book this semester. About my return to the classRoom, about this new rhythm to my lessons, lectures, this restructured passion. Tomorrow, day2 of semester.. and with Jackie getting better about being left at Ms. Lisa’s, I should be back here to write, I’m hoping, before 9a. If I leave promptly at 10, I could be on PC [Petaluma Campus] by 10:40, ridiculous latest.. which would give me more than enough to compose for class. But how would I copy it? NEW PLAN:
= Post to Pedagogy blog, on Capote interview, from home
= Write lecture at home and/or on main campus, copy, then leave for PC
Each session, each lecture guiding it, has to be significantly more poignant than what preceded. That’s how I’ll get this book done. AND, stay organized, simple. This pedagogy blog.. a key thread in this semester’s book. Maybe I could post a couple entries before I leave for campus(es), even getting a couple paragraphs down right after run. If I leave at 5:20 [latest] and– no, that won’t work. Wait, stop… I’m overplanning, overthinking.
10:20pm. Should be in bed. I’ll be running in 7 hours.
Falling asleep, in
the character’s animation.
Her words, picture, fall.
Wouldn’t want other
ways to lay day.
Hopefully soon, steeped in