Portrayal Gray

7/9/13.  3PAGES done.  Just dabbled in spoken word, verse.  But I’m blocked.  Think by Self.  Maybe I’m expecting too much writing from Self.  Now, searching for new songs to motivate the writer on his run.  Want 10 miles, so horribly.  Right now, too hot.  Hoping 5:30p, or later.  Maybe after Jackie goes down.  Just as the sun begins its retirement.

Think I’m getting a little stir crazy, from being in all day.  Stay calm, don’t spin yourSelf, writer.  Get a couple songs, suit up, stretch, then sprint.  Yes, into the heat.  You’ll be fine.  And spill out that frappuccino!


7:13pm.  Only did 3 of the ten miles.  All I could do.  WAS too hot.  And I think the caffeine was fading, so I literally was mid-crash when beginning run.  Conspiring to wake early again, before 5:30a.  Going to launch from house.  Thought about doing a run in Howarth Park, by the lake like Carmen and I’ve done once, but I want simplicity.  The drive there, although short, would only complicate effort.

Sipping my third sparkling berry water.  No Diet Coke with dinner, as I thought I might have.  And certainly no wine.  This water, just as I like it.. from freezer, with iced torpedo in center, cooling contents.  Quite a bit done 2day, with the writing.  By retreat’s end: 2 chapbooks.  Bound, ready to sell– well, at least one bound, vend-ready.

In bed by 10:15 tonight.  Want, NEED, loads of sleep.  Will be needed if I’m to follow through with this latest early run goal.  Not looking to do 10 miles, just going to run for 45 minutes, see what I can achieve in that bracket, then see if I want to run a little more.  And for my Sunday’s remainder.. not sure.  Should really get a jump on my lectures.. know I keep saying that.  But it’s been slipping my mind, for some reason.  Not sure why, especially when I’m immensely excited about these authors.

= one thing about English 5 section.. make sure students understand that the Author is not always revealing something about themselves, directly, but possibly how they see people around them, and/or Humanity itSelf

Sitting here in kitchen’s nook, enjoying my sparkling water and snack [these ranch-flavored crispy veggie straws, which are indescribably tasty], I’m realizing that my goal should be 1 book.  The 59-page project, for retreat.  And before it’s over.. 1 copy sold.  To anyone.  Mom, Katie, Dad, Carmen, Mindy.. I don’t care.  Just want 1 sold.  Then, start the pedagogy blog.  See where it goes.  Stick to 3PAGES a day.  Have to make this break work for me.  May not have another for a while.

In terms of “going out,” possibly another Gatsby night– well, I don’t have any planned, nor do I see or know of any on horizon, so I can’t comment.  Well, sure I can.  I don’t want to “go out.” What would that do for me, directly or indirectly?  Much as I try to convince mySelf I’ll take notes, gather characters, observations, it’d be a waste, total.  Going into Picasso mode, never detaching from Creative cave.

Not sure I want to wake so early, tomorrow.  But would that be the kind of Newness I need?  5:20am it’s set for.  What should I do, what should I do…  I’m overthinking, as I always do, have done.  Think I’m going a bit mad, after all I’ve today written, in these condo walls.  On the Gatsby note, maybe I can have one here in home.. open some really nice wine, put on some music, and just scribble verse, spoken word songs.  Prose wouldn’t suit such a night.  There, then.  Settled.  [10:38pm]