20:45

First glass, starting to show more roundness and personality.  Again, reminding me of when I first started tasting and drinking wine with any kind of critical context.  What happened to me?  Why did I lose my love and passion, pursuit in this world?  

It was the industry, I know it. What if I took it back.  What if I … never mind.  No more fucking ifs.  Just doing it. Where is the iPad?  Shit.. back at the loft.  Where I was writing this new wine page pile exclusively.

Notes from 2003-ish, to now.  All tasting rooms, all characters, all tastings including the ones in Debra Mathy’s office – the Melka portfolio, REALM, some Kosta-Browne, and who knows what else.  And the people… forget about the fucking wines for a second, or a couple hours.  All the friends I made…

All the conversations and adventures. All the storytelling and getting to know why people came from wherever to be in the wine industry.

That one girl, what was her name… Allison!  From fucking Iowa or something and wanting to work a wine harvest she told me.  And I had to laugh how she said “wine harvest”, when she told me one afternoon on the crush pad, hotter that shit on the Kunde pavement.

All these people, all these rooms, all these people that go from tasting room job to tasting room job next.  WHY.  What are they chasing…?

Reminded of HST and the inner-inquiry he’d have in F&L.  ‘What are they after, what are they looking for?’ Something like that he’d ask.

So, then… WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

Honestly, a story that cannot be moved or curved, diluted or severed by an external arm.