11-5-23

Vacaville, CA.

08:11 forgot about daylight savings time but didn’t.  Figgy the cat not happy about me typing and not giving him all my attention.  Today is one of so much promise and renewed tenacity about me.  I feel different this morning.  Choosing how I react… the translation of events, through a lens of gratitude.  New strength and motivation in this morning’s jots.

Nurse gets out of the shower and laughs at me typing, but with affection.  Not how other people would have had a remark or something snarky or snide to say.  Me, a blogger, or writer, or something, renewed tech character giving the writer faith in something.  And I RARELY use that word, but it’s truth.

A life lesson in my 40s, you have to stop listening to THEM.   When they talk and say their judgments with no reservation or self-check I’ll be the same in my dismissal.  Being here and with her, all the happiness I’m feeling.. what I am now because of HER.  Everything else past, stopped.

Blog and note my happiness, how I’m doing it myself but not.  It puts me in a more mindful manuscript.  Sitting up in our bed writing whilst she readies for our Sunday coffee date at Peet’s down the street.  I’m so happy that I’m tempted to tell so much and so many to just fuck off.  In the nicest way of course.

Thinking of my kids and how I want them to be in their thoughts, to have faith in themselves and motivated by their own discoveries.  That each day is a startup, an invitation, something you could make into something incredible.

Did I gain an hour, or lose one?  Who cares.  I’m creating and logging the day.  No self-debating or stopping, in any way.  Onto the next, no stress in this new stretch of chess.