Monday Codicil

8:35 and in office.  Lunch at 12:30, making dinner with Mom later about which I am abundantly nervous.  I’m still convinced cooking is NOT in my makeup as a character.  But like I’m always saying and professing, be About EVERYTHING.  Including the shit you don’t really enjoy doing or are somewhat timid to do.

Had double-espresso this morning before clearing desk area.  Coffee now at right but waiting to sip, don’t need to still feeling the home shots.

8:39, not ready to start day yet.  Making list of what I have to do….  I HAVE to be on laptops tonight working, no fail….  Budget, done, since zeroing two accounts and moving money to…..

Time moving quicker than I am this morning but I’ll catch the devil.

Nearly sipped coffee, but no.

Texted two students, cross that off list.  Closer to Q4, have to do what I’m suggesting to students, literally what I just wrote – “More of EVERYTHING”.  More energy, examples, communication and collaboration with me (so for me, that’s communication and collaboration with co-workers and SELF, family, friends…).

Seeing a lot this morning.  Have to submit reports to director in a bit.  Budgeting done, need a quick bathroom break, the start going through work email.  Looking at places in other towns now, not just off the Square and Petaluma by river.  Walking the levy and over that bridge last night drew new images for me, new sights of the office and what’s beyond the AE story, maybe.


Back in chair, 8:57, and starting to answer emails.  Submitting contract and a request for credit in a bit.  Coltrane still playing, will move to something else in a tick.  Woke before 6 and don’t feel a bit tired, and I don’t think it’s the work of the espresso.

Music, thoughts, not rushing anything.  Think I feel a little tired then it fades.

The ‘Magic of the Meta’ idea, pulling me one way then another.  Blogging, to capture and mold the Now somehow, reiterate reality….  Need coffee now, and another walk to break room.

Contract sent in, now at I think 116% for month, and “some change” as people say and I hate that phrase.  But, a some change.  Want another contract, and another… want to close the year early.  Wake earlier, GODDAMNIT.

My “brand” as a writer and blogger, creative, and whatever else I am is shape-shifting in this recent shift.  Now not so recent, but you know what I mean.  Do I want to be a “brand” though?  Not sure I have a choice.  Being not so much present but purposed in the Now, Monday, in office within the office, end of September… sales better this month than they have been in a while.  There’s comedy to it really, how much I stress over quota and the year when I have over 3 full months remaining.  Very much part of my EVERYTHING, even with the degree to which it stresses me.