Jack back home from a trip and overnight at his grandma’s, and Emma spending so much time with her daddy… Have to reflect on what this is, this parenting role. More than a role, more than a life. It’s something else. What did I learn from Professor Emma today? To just try, as she just tries to crawl, climb all over me and Ms. Alice, to roll over and re-situate herself so she can launch for a quasi-crawl again. She tries, she has NO fear. And why do I? I’m the grownup, in theory. Right? you should see Ms. Emma just launch for something, be it me or one of her toys, to crawl and tumble, speak and laugh at me when I make one of my faces. She has everything. I’m envious, I won’t lie.
Jackie, my little beatnik, tonight insisting on reading books. He wanted four I said no we didn’t have time, that I needed to eat but he stood his ground, teaching me to more stand mine and now waiver for anything, which I’m already quite fluent with but could still accrue more ardor. He being gone overnight felt like a sentence of some sort. Part of being a parent, you enjoy breaks when they present themselves but resent the caesura at the same time. Me, I realize, need to listen to my little professors more. Spend more time with them, which is hard as I have to work so much. Want us financially “ahead”— no, not ahead, but continents beyond “comfortable”. Nearly there, I can feel.