Planning to wake early to stretch, do other exercises downstairs, write more than anything. 1A lecture/session sequences, with Zenful forward. Quite Zen myself, after this day. A run, over 2k words. Testing myself with this newsletter, deadline being this Sunday.. between 7 & 10PM. Help people start their week, share what I have going on, or whatever.. but I have to wake early like Ms. Morrison.
Sipping the last of the Dutcher Cab, reading notes I took today, Monday, and over the semester. Another semester logged, but I don’t want it measured that way, with that lens, tone. This semester was, and will be seen, finally, as THE ONE. Where I found myself as a writer, with the re-emphasis on bottledaux, the new newsletter ‘awks’— I’m just rambling, I know. But know: NO TV on, not music, just silent on this first floor of the A-Walk Studio. My last glass of wine for the night which isn’t even near me. In the kitchen, on counter.. realistic goal: wake at 5. No? 3 more minutes budgeted for this sitting and these thoughts for the day, the frolic in words and teaching, the adjunct life, parenting, running, complete character coherence. But is that even possible at this stage, in my day. Nearly done with day, but I feel like I haven’t done a thing! Why is that? I always feel like that and I don’t fucking get it! Alice messages me and tells me Em is already into her little peanut dreams. I still say, “I wish I could sleep like her.” Totally a dad thought to think— need a sip of that DC Cab. Been a few minutes since my last dip— I mean SIP.
A race to 3,000 words, I just sit here on the couch downstairs and think about the semester, those students in the ‘5’ class, and the fewer than few in the ‘1A’ that I envy, admire, want to mimic. So very much want to be in their shoes, throwing around that word “transfer”. When is this writer/student going to transfer to the Road, to other campuses to lecture, speak, share ideas? Soon, I tell myself, this Cab tells me.
I’m tired, but don’t want to sleep. Just want to think about the day I had, the conversations with students, how one student in the _ section tried to challenge me, challenge the assignment, and I didn’t back down. I expressed sympathy, an urgency to meet the student where they were. But student still challenged. We reached an accord to write whatever they felt promising. So now it’s up to student to do so. So… I’m here on the couch knowing the day was MINE. The night and day are capped. Soon, the wine in my circulation again me assures. And what I do with that? I don’t know. Just keep writing, keep telling myself that I’ll be there soon, out there, on the Road, traveling and speaking to audiences and masses like I’m running for an office but I’m not. I just want to share loving thoughts with Humans. That’s all.