SF Effect

9/29/13–  If I didn’t take that nap, I don’t know if I would have made it to this hour.  You should see me type.. like I had a 4shot morning mocha, now, 7:17pm, right before dinner.  Just back from store, where I bought some decaf, well as some new ammunition for morning.  Stopping wine’s presence in system, for tonight certainly, and probably a few following.  Thought today, this morning, while walking the filthy SF streets near Market: that I may be Self-blocking.. go all the way outside character.  No more wine, indefinitely.  And not that I have some problem, I just want to do something I otherwise wouldn’t.  I love wine, everything from nose to texture, finish.  So this will be difficult, but I think this may be the act that puts me in my office.  And on the Road.

San Francisco.. much I love you, I can only take so much of the noise, excrement on sidewalk, people theologically bullying, the crowds.  Yesterday, just before 5p, while Alice and I walked around Union Square, I felt panicked, how I just couldn’t be around so many characters at once, and maybe that’s my fault, that I had to be a writer at that moment, observing as one, instead of enjoying Alice’s company, having the day off.

The hotel, though.. more than valuable.  What I think I’m looking forward to most, or one aspect at very least.. all the hotels.  Last night, the bartender, how kind she was, joking that she didn’t know the price of the Gloria Ferrer glass, for Alice.  A Racer 5, for me.. $7-something.  Couldn’t believe it.  But it was budgeted, so I just laughed it off, with the bartender and Alice.  Ran into an old friend, from San Carlos, John N.  Approached me while we were checking in.  Can’t remember the last time I saw him.  Think it was at that bar in downtown Walnut Creek, when I lived in San Ramon.  Remember I was there with Chris Z, saw John with Eric and Scott, and Aaron too I think.  All of them, from San Carlos.

Can’t even remember how many cups [coffee] I had today, spread, before nap.  Saw so many runners around union square, market, and the neighborhood just above Union Square.  Just looked on a map of SF, of all the neighborhoods, or districts, learning the neighborhood I saw only for a second was outer Nob Hill.  Would love an office in SF, around Union Square, but I’m not commuting anymore.  Those days, done for now.  Want my Office, and I’m sure of this, to be somewhere in Santa Rosa’s Railroad Square.  Done.  IS there any office space there?  Getting ahead of Self, or maybe I’m not.  It’s close, I know.

Tonight, 500 word piece for book, then I switch to older pieces, entries.  Can’t believe I found that old notebook in new car’s trunk (from when I emptied Scion, which was recently sold).  It has the entry from one of the first days of last semester, when that

FT-er remarked with surprise at how I was writing, keeping a journal.  He looked nearly disgusted.  How?  Oh yeah, teachers vs. doers…


9:05pm.  Seated.  With decaf.  Some peanut M&Ms.  What I said earlier, about not having a problem.. sometimes wish I did.  Alcoholics always get published.

Another aim, recent, and quite serious: cook.  Cooking.  How to cook.  My first dish, not sure if I want it to be chick-centered, or some kind of veggie creation.  Going to keep log of everything I prepare, no matter how mundane.  If I make mySelf a sandwich, I’ll put some new culinary spin on it.

Not running tomorrow, but Tuesday morning, before class.  Will bring some papers to grade, tomorrow.  Back to clock.  But not for long.  Coffee, yes this decaf, with nearly more impressively pluming scent than my morning pourings.  First sip.. just what the writer needs, listening to light rain.  It’s somewhat hard to hear.  Now, for 1st M&M…  perfect pairing.  And, on such soul.. what do I cook first?  Recipes…  How about something easy.  Like what, what would I eat, order?  Tomatoes, light garlic, pepper.. not sure why those three characters are speaking to me.  But I’ll follow this wave.

Found an interesting Lentil Soup recipe.  That could be good with some small bread bites, lightly toasted with some butter, light cheese atop.  There, I’ll start there.

Two more MnMs [like writing it that way, better..], last sip of decaf.  Hearing the rain a little better.  Makes me think of those storms I witnessed at Auntie Linda and Uncle Stevie’s house, long ago in Sisters, Or.  I remember my first thunder & lightning storm, settling over their house, area while we began dinner.  Remembering the first bolt I saw, just off to the left, to the side of North Sister.  Been thinking a lot about those days in the above state– all the bike rides, trips to swimming pools, skiing in winter.  The exhaustion I felt earlier, before nap, returned.  Can’t wait, as I always at night state, for morning cup.  Should make some breakfast snack for Self, in some artful way.  Like what?  How can I make morning toast different?  It’ll have to be in the cut, proportioning of PB, and J.  That’ll be the first entry in this cooking log.

Think I want another cup of this unbelievable d-c.  Yes.  My night’s capping.  Now, I’m awake, strangely.  I know it’s decaf, but is there a little ‘caf’ in here?  Someone told me once that there was, is, a minute bit of fuel in decaffeinated coffee.  Wouldn’t be surprised, with the way I feel now.


9:46pm.  No 2nd cup.  Back into character tomorrow, with professor mode.  Tomorrow, respond to student posts on teaching blog; grade 5 papers at work, English 5; write out lecture, type when home, copy at some point Tuesday morning; over-plan both sessions, 5 and 1A.. overwhelm them; dictate tempo, direction, ideas placement.

Listening to beats I would in my hotel room, on Road.  That hotel in SF, The Drake, just what I see Self seeing, frequently.. that view from our 7th Floor room.  Room 707, which I found a bit humorous or thematically/plot appropriate as Alice and I reside in Sonoma County, 707 area code.

There.  My thousand for day.  Love the quiet of this room, downstairs.  Rain, almost too light to detect, even with my persistent drums.  Off to book, to build something, or cook something, or try.