log — Saturday, 5/19/12

Last night, finally had a chance to taste MKCS, once home from the AV gala–where I tasted some amazing Sonoma County/Alexander Valley Cabernets.  Katie had dinner with Alice, and brought with her a sample of our inaugural production.  I was pleasurably shocked with what I tasted.  Nice fruit up front, with herbal song from nose to finish.  Already a formidable tannic tango.  Found a new winery last night, with which I now find Self strangely obsessed.  Last night, they poured an ’07 Cabernet.  Ordered two bottles today by phone, which are to be delivered to AV Winery early morrow.  I’ll log the name in later entries.

Couldn’t wait to get to keys, and now can’t find any words.  Not sure about transition ahead…  Don’t want to line any specifics, but I’m just at loss.  Think I just need to be on paper.  I do have notes from today, in the little notepad, but am much too lazy to arch and bend vessel to grab it from back pocket, as I just sit on this couch, typing, nursing a Racer 5.  Jack tonight, more than vocal with me.  This little character, aging so fast that I have no reason to believe he’s not taunting me.  Why my writing style’s changed.  Why it’s faster, sloppier.  More Human.  Tomorrow morning, need to wake early, for my 128 sitting.  Didn’t have one today, as I had to be in at 9am.  May have been why I was in such a toxic temperament when I walked through the Room’s doors.

Remember walking through the caves today, thinking how frustrating it is not to write every thought that passes in my perceptive boundary. “What if I forget this thought?” I can remember thinking.  Obviously, I didn’t.  But, I now understand, “So what if I did?” IT contributes to my role as Artist, Writer; Diarist.  Thoughts don’t always have to be written.  Sometimes, that’s the most Literary form of writing, that which isn’t put to paper.  OR screen.  Haven’t sipped the Racer in a clod of minutes, excuse me…

10:39pm.  Monday night, another tasting here at home.  Thinking I need to focus on Sauv Blancs, 1 Cab (one of the bottles being delivered tomorrow).  AND, more importantly than wine, MUSIC.  Treated Self to a $50 iTunes gift card today, when picking up the Su Casa takeout for Alice & I.  But even still, with this gift, I keep stressing in this Writer’s life.  Am I “caught up?” Did I leave anything out?  What if I’ve lost thoughts?  Well, I tell Self, “If anything was worth remembering, you would have remembered it, and it’d be in the journal.  One of them.” Just put it all into verse, song, I’m thinking.  This prose, tiring for me, the reader.

10:49pm.  Thinking about our Cab, Katie’s and mine, MKCS.  Yes, I was tired when I sipped it, but that little bottle woke me up, redirected my attention and irrevocably focusing me on Autonomy.  Wine Autonomy, with Writing logging each step.  Speaking of Winemaking, my research…  Didn’t do any today.  I honestly didn’t have time.  But it was on mind, from 9 to 6:15p, when I left.  And you know what else I entertained, while walking through the cave, about the estate…  Flying.  Airplanes.  Just like Dad.  He said that if that was ever something I wanted to do, I should start with gliders.  Should I?  I’d rather do that than skydive, or rock climb.  And, probably something I’ve never before logged: it’s always been something I’ve wanted to do.  And not just for the writing.  Just to fly.  To experience the magic of flying.  As Dad has, many times over.  I don’t want any “bucket list.” I just want to act, write about it.  Think I may need another Racer.  Then write in its ripples.