22:18

Nurse called into work.  One case, it seems.  First time this has happened and first time I’m working at her desk, at the Villa by myself.  Figgy the kitty distracting me, playing with my backpack, then leaves.

So much going around in my notes, not yet written.  The Nurse and what she does, that story, OUR story.  All of it.

The kids this morning, Jack asking about Ms. T——, then Henry, then Emma.  The Composition of everything, me writing in this new room, at this desk… trying to let all of my wanderings mentally go where they will, teach me something new before this new story really starts.

No wine tonight.  You won’t believe it, and I’m not bullshitting, but sipping a Strawberry White Claw.  Not sure what to think, now that I like these things so much.  One of our first errands together was to a nearby store to get a mixed 12-pack.  Not going to lie, they’re not bad.

In fact, they’re perfect.  Not too hight in ABV, delicious, stopping any thirst…. And it’s hot as shit in Vacaville tonight, so… yes, perfection.  In a White Claw.

Music, needing be more a column and staple, something permanent, like a cellular thesis in this new character of mine, or just how I am now. Noticing I’m getting too syllabic and theatrical in my writing.  Just report what is.. the simple and seemingly plain is the promise, the value… make something from nothing.  And, NOTHING is nothing.  Everything teaches, is an additive of some sort.

Had to leave the office ‘cause Figgy was too distracting and mischievous.  In our bed, hearing the waterfall or fountain outside. Still hot…

Another sip, hear a honk.  Think the cat went downstairs… getting older but reversing it with running, the 5 miles today on the treadmill at the Windsor gym for the first time in months.  Something new again starting.

When something presents itself for the first time, your nerves are no longer in a blurred shine.  I’m alive in a way I’ve never been, not so much confident but convinced and convicted in a Beat unusual.

I want to be challenged, want to be accosted, even.  Want to see what they’ll say.

Saccharine, not.