On campus, and much recovered from the food poisoning frolic recent. Still not 100%, but leagues better than yesterday. Thought yesterday at the winery would never end, with the sore joints, fever, infuriated core. But, it’s over, no more. In adjunct cell with blueberry muffin and coffee, appreciating words from a fellow adjunct telling me on of my ‘100’ students likes my “philosophies” and how I share my insights on literature and issues with the class, and how I promulgate discussion and maintain energy in the classroom. She, this other adjunct, must have had him for English 307 or 305, anyway I’m instructing him now and hearing this, unprompted, assures me my life is meant to share ideas. And that’s all my teaching “philosophy” is, invitation. An invitation to exchange ideas and hear what others have to say, appreciate insights on everything— literature, societal matters, general life, work, family, all be.
Can’t tell you how promising it feels to be on campus, even though I let the 100 section go early, I’m in my character, more than just “in my element” as people say.. I’m in teaching mode, and thinking about the future of my teaching, and what I want to learn— learn from students and learn from the collective character of this campus. My mind’s just in a riled and tireless wander, if you don’t mind, post-sick. The incident taught me that I have to keep moving, and when I’m not moving is when I’m most not-me, most upset, and just generally disgruntled. I’m better now, though, and I plan on decisively defeating my Monday, as this one student said earlier. He came to class dressed up, medium-blue hued sports coat, same shade slacks, chic shoes. “You look nice, man. You have a job interview or something?” I said. “No, I just wanted to defeat my Monday. You told us Mondays don’t have to be Mondays, so I wanted to defeat my Monday by dressing nice.” Couldn’t help but bask and study his attitude. Now I mimic, benefiting from my own instruction in a way.
In this adjunct shared cell, I plan further. What I want and how to get it. Easy, I realize. “Go all out.” Cliché, maybe, but truth. That’s one of boon and lovely layers of cliché is that it’s known, accepted, and mostly proven true. At least in this case. So, always be on campus, mentally. I will. I’ll defeat this Monday by taking a mammoth step toward my aim, toward travel, what I want for me and my family. I know, just a writing father professing, professing… This is not professing. This is planning. And my plan… Be the most ‘Me’. I can think and think and think, but I’m now the figure to do, do, do. Everyone in the hallway talking, all those full-timers and lifelong adjuncts who don’t dare do something more, don’t know I’m in here doing what I’m doing. Everyone should have time fixes like this, junctures of immense sight and realization, meditation. So now, me, further into the day, on campus with a near-gone muffin.