4/12/15, journal

Up, 6:08. Been up since 5:20-something I believe but I tried going back into dreams, which I shouldn’t have, I should have been down here in these blankets and on this couch collecting thoughts.. I again realize the crucial nature to these mornings for me now, as yesterday I hadn’t a time to write, busy at the winery (no lunch of course, which I technically don’t mind but I needed time for writing), luckily I brought the little pages in with me and wrote some notes for Tuesday.. didn’t grade, and didn’t further Compose what I want to present Tuesday. Had a lovely dinner with Alice at where the Cantina used to operate, but with writing and running yesterday was blank, no entry, a failure. I gently shook Alice and let her know I was coming down here. She didn’t respond, tired of course, further getting us in preparedness for the move, which I estimate now is only 25 days away.
IMG_5381 Yesterday, I couldn’t stop looking at the colors of the wines and how they behave, how the colors and shapes and overall stamps in the glass changed as you swirl them. I was obsessed with this one Pinot, the Anderson Valley, and just how outspoken the color was to my optics. I stared and stared, and finally took a picture. And now I stare some more.
Thinking I should go out for a run at 7, 47 minutes from now, get my miles logged. And no music, just the watch.. the struggling light of morning in that bluegraypurple sky. Ugh.. but I can only think of Thursday and how I need to prepare.. tomorrow I’ll make a point to bring papers to work. I will today, I just don’t know how much I’ll get done. Yesterday wasn’t what I call ‘invaded’ busy, but it was fluid enough to keep me alert and motioning. Sold, total in day, over 2 cases, I’m pretty sure. Sold one case to that guy from MA, the one who loved the Mendo Ridge Pinot and the Gerwurtz’.. how he’s building his cellar and how his son, I believe, was either married on the estate or had a rehearsal dinner, or reception there. Can’t remember but there was much mention of memory and the occasion and how it to this day IS their impression of the winery. That interests and attracts me, greatly, and stills serves as much of the reason I’m even interested in the industry; the positivity and togetherness, family and the moments people recount several years forward.
Looking left, more light, perfect for run. Yes, then, I’ll launch at 7, exactly, which means I should go upstairs around 6:50 to brush teethe and jump into gear and what be… 45 degrees outside now, or so my phone says, and who knows how spot-on that devilish device is. But I need to run, stay running, run consistently like Alice.. and I’m boldly thankful for her counsel in electing the Surfer’s Path ‘half’ rather than ‘full’. As I’ve always noted in this log, running is writing to me and now I focus on short fiction, and short short fiction, not long exhaustive novels. Same sets with my running practice. So this morning, target 7, then stop. Thinking of it as seven pages, typed, submitted.. and I remember that one of the students in the 1B class submitted his short narrative both single and double-space, him telling me “I printed it both ways, ‘cause it reads better single-spaced.” I thought that was wonderful, this young student taking such pride in his work and such ownership and onus. I learned from that hand-off, that I need to demonstrate more ownership and pride, boldness confidence bravado and all associated…
6:24, so still quite some time for me to collect and wonder innocently how the day’s to mature and evolve as its own character.. then I have an idea for class that I have to write down, type just below this, I can’t stop in my types this morning and can’t be distracted by email or my phone or any messages– Image: last night at dinner, before our plates landed, the family to our left was at the end of their visit, and all were on phone, no communication, no interaction or love, no closeness, just surrender to that little rectangle. It made me sick and Alice could only be disgusted as well.
More and more I realize the dire nature of a morning for me, now, and I feel for some time. But I’m here at the keys typing my life away, telling my story as an adjunct and finding it more aggravating but encouraging at the same time– the idea of traveling with these lectures and ideas and offering them for sakes of generating discussion, not like I’m some note of genius but simply that I want to talk, and share my ideas.. and they’re not actually “mine”! That’s the beauty, or part of it.. the ideas were inspired from other authors or in something I witnessed, or from someone with whom I spoke. I’m not aiming for ownership, but I do credit Self with the urge and courage to share these ideas, or note, or notions, or compulsions. My first idea of the day stems from Sedaris and his storytelling urges, precisely what he shares and how.. how the conversational nature of his prose and of course the humor, only make it more inviting and comforting… And Baldwin with his razoring diction and argumentative precision.. I’ll be posting all day to the teaching blog, and hopefully students will engage me and each other.. but I need to get to the estate early, set up and do some work for Tuesday.. Tuesday, like the day of a fight, a title fight or some show, some reading; a concert.. or one of these Road lectures I fantasize about, and why not! Treat it just that way! I will and have a result to share at 7AM when we’re beginning.
6:37.. jumping over to teaching blog/journal.. ideas for Tuesday, prepping for run soon…